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Watching Too Much Porn? This Will Set You Right

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

If they ran this three-minute disclaimer before every porno we ever watched, we'd definitely have healthier sex lives... and never want to actually watch porn. It's the video equivalent of a tub full of ice water, of hearing a twig snap in half-- in other words, the ultimate boner killer.

WARNING: audio is NSFW, although the boring camera setup certainly is. We kept expecting this Gennifer Flowers wannabe to jump on the desk and reveal her sexy stockings. We're guessing this could be why we didn't do so well in sex ed. 

Double Viking - 80s PSA That Used To Run Before Pornos 

When you're done with that, reward yourself with an ad too cool to ever be topped by any modern television commerical:

Double Viking - Salvador Dali Explains Alka-Seltzer 

And one more: Have you been perverted by newsstand obscenity? An (early?) 60s PSA featuring "George Putnam, outstanding news reporter" may be of some assistance...


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted May 08 2008, 01:11 PM
Filed under: , , , , , , , , ,

Comments

The Open Cubicle said:

I'm glad a link to this was on Digg.

May 8, 2008 3:52 PM

abenson44 said:

Those intros were placed on porn tapes in the 70s and 80s by lawyers.   No really, they were.  Back in the day, prosecutors all over the country were dragging in clerks from adult stores to face serious jail time for renting those tapes and by putting those intros on them, the lawyers were assuring a decent defense because the law required then, and still does today, that the prosecutor had to prove that the tape alleged to be pornography was "utterly without redeeming social value".  How better to add social value than to make the tapes educational?  These were instructional tapes, how-to-do-it tapes, not porn.

May 9, 2008 9:50 AM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Nerve, is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker/The Consumerist. He will be first against the wall, come the revolution.

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    • about the blogger

    Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

    Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

    Nicole Pasulka is a Brooklyn writer and editor who's always on the lookout for the dirty. Her other virtual home is at The Morning News, where things are squeaky clean most of the time.

    Send us links! scanner@nerve.com


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