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The Nerve Blog-a-log: Charlotte_Web A Demi in search of her Ashton.
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Because if it was Padma Lakshmi vs. Anyone Including Venus, this would've been flippin' obvious.
We're pretty sure no one watches Bravo unless "Top Chef" is on, but maybe there are some people who aren't satiated by "Dancing With the Stars" that they need yet another dance show. Or maybe they're just fans of Elizabeth Berkley and haven't stopped fantasizing about her since "Showgirls"-- or worse, "Saved By The Bell," the unfunniest show in history, a history which includes "Sex And The City."
Okay, okay, now we're just trying to piss you off. Gotcha! (Not that we're retracting any of the above statements.) Seriously now, Tyra Banks is obviously hot and her hosting duties on "America's Next Top Model" haven't hindered her standing as one of the few intelligent women currently hosting a daytime talk show.
But what about Berkley in the pool in "Showgirls?" Then again, there's every photo of Tyra Banks ever released by a reputable publication... hmmm...
um, you called SBTB unfunny and tyrayray intelligent? i thought i knew you.
Brian, you have obviously never seen Tyra's talk show. She's awful, she can't put together a complete sentence. And ANTM? She's just ridiculous on that show. No way dude, totally wrong.
All right, all right. The jig is up.
Normally, I don't confess to statements having been jokes if people don't get them, but this time I will, lest the possibility that I might consider Tyra Banks intelligent become common wisdom.
1) I wanted to say something positive about her besides the fact that she's hot. "Nice" doesn't really cover it.
2) The whole sentence should clearly be taken as a gag, people: there ARE no current intelligent women hosting daytime talk shows.
Tyra wins, but both of them are too crazy to let them sleep over after.
Yeah, sometimes it hurts to tell the truth, but Tyra Banks is beautiful, even if she makes my ears bleed. Elizabeth Berkley, who I actually suspect is really nice and funny, looks like some kind of polymer creation cooked up by a germophobic heir to some sort of Q-tip fortune.
Really? Beautiful? I think she looks like an alien. Of course that's until she opens her mouth. Then I can't bring myself to look at her. Ew.
Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.
Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.
Nicole Pasulka is a Brooklyn writer and editor who's always on the lookout for the dirty. Her other virtual home is at The Morning News, where things are squeaky clean most of the time.
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