Ever wondered how much you would net as an escort? We sure have. (Wondered about ourselves we mean, not you. That would be creepy!) Turns out the answer, as judged by the undoubtedly scientifically bulletproof "Gigolo-Meter" is $842 an hour. Which coincidentally is just as much as we're paid by Nerve! Ha ha! Who'd a thunk?

Actually, even though we're completely hyped to be worth so much on the black market -- not since we were adopted have we felt this much net value in our body! -- it turns out that $842 is below average for those taking the test. Since the Gigolo-Meter claims to arrive at its valuations "based on averages taken from advertised male and female private escort sites," we're pretty sure it's because we said we were exclusively straight and dressed "casual." (We're working on the wardrobe, thank you!) But enough about us! Try it for yourself and let us know what fabulous level of whoredom you can reach!

(Oh and we lie. We've totally wondered how much you would make as an escort, you dirty dawgs, you.)