Nerve Insider : vodka

From the Archives: The Last Times I Partied Before Starting AA

Nicole Ankowski — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 21:09:00 GMT

Maybe the day after St. Patrick's Day isn't the best time to post this piece. Maybe it's the perfect time. Maybe I’ll let one of the feedback comments describe this piece for you: “Engaging. Terrible. Desperate. Lovely.” Here’s how it begins:

My Russian friend Nini and I are toasting vodka, a shake of pepper in the bottom of the shot glass. We drink two bottles, quart bottles. A lot of alcohol for two little pixies. Some boys arrive, friends of hers, Russian guys who hardly speak any English. They're all over us, they're not picky, they want to get laid. The cute one pushes the hair out of Nini's eyes when she pours. She gets to pouring at a whole new pace. The glass bounces on the floor. Fling, that bottle's done, fling, another one's gone. I realize at one point that the conversation is happening entirely in Russian, and yet I'm yelling and being yelled back at.

Can a piece of fiction utterly tell the truth? Check out Matthew Klam’s classic Nerve story.

About Last Night: We Crash the Playgirl Party…

Nicole Ankowski — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:29:00 GMT

We figured, why not check out Playgirl’s April Issue Launch Party? It was at a bar called “Happy Endings,” it was within walking distance from Nerve…and it promised free vodka and goodie bags. Plus: we really hoped that there would be male waiters wearing bowties and no shirts. I mean, if you’re gonna throw a Playgirl party, you might as well go all the way, right?

The line outside was cold, but inside the transexual ladies were hot. There was little seating, few men, and (sadly) no shirtless waiters. (WTF, Playgirl?) There were some great pick-up lines. Our fave of the night, from two tall, European dudes with indeterminate accents: “Who are better liars, men or women?” One of our savvy ladies immediately recognized this as a Mystery pick-up line. Mystery must have trained the guys himself, because when we said as much they were completely unfazed:
“Vat? Ees a good pick-up line, no? Ees so good, because zee women can tell zee men ve are bastards!” (Later, we're pretty sure we saw them, naked, in the magazine. Who knew?!)

Playgirl stopped serving the free alcohol at 8:57 pm. Yes, our cheap asses noted the time (it was cold outside!). We were sad:

We grabbed our goodie bags on the way out, and examined the loot after stopping for late-night pizza and drunken photo shoots. Sadly, I can't show you some of the pics that really amused the pizza guys. But we enjoyed our goodie bags:

Lessons learned: Playboy is sexier than Playgirl. And this from a straight gal.

Free vodka is not worth losing toes to frostbite.

If you drunkenly give a strange guy on the street extra lube from your goodie bag, he will follow you. And offer you a ride to New Jersey. Do not accept.

And, we are so not Playgirl's target audience:

Material Media parties

Sarah — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 21:00:00 GMT

We had a party last night! We turned down the lights, put ashtrays in the conference room and lined up 140 martini and wine glasses on Nerve Video editor Sam Apple’s desk. This morning the office smelled like a bar. (It’s clean now.)

Svedka Vodka and Lucid Absinthe provided liquor for the event,

which was consumed by about 150 friends, writers, bloggers and other media-types. Thank you Svedka and Lucid!

Without you office manager Nicole’s dress would have stayed dry

and editor Will may never have poured alcohol into the mug I use for my morning coffee.

Interns Liz and Lauren did a great job bartending and learned that drunk people don’t much care what you serve them.

Special thanks to Nicole, who organized the party, scored the liquor and type-A’d the event to perfection.

Also thanks to Tadge Dryj a who took the lovely photo of Lucid.