Nerve Insider : screengrab

In Other Blogs: Best Mugshots Ever, Angelina Jolie’s Nipples, and More

Nicole Ankowski — Tue, 20 May 2008 20:05:00 GMT

What’s the word on the bloggin’ streets? Scanner brings the news, and the crazy:

Best. Mugshots. Ever. (Take note: best not to wear your “I love midget porn” T-shirt over the long weekend, no?)
Lil Wayne has been reading Mayan prophecies: check out what he’s learned.
Two celebs we haven’t heard from in awhile suck face in public.
If you look closely, you can see Angelina Jolie’s nipples. For reals.
Penthouse owns online Christian dating sites. Also for reals.
Meet the new DC Comics character, Shy Crazy Lolita Canary.
Guess which Star Trek star will take advantage of California’s new gay marriage law? Live long and prosper! All this and so much more at your Daily Scanner.

Over at the Screengrab, we’ve got Joan Collins dishing on why Sean Connery never walked in one her naked body painted gold (and other deep thoughts on the James Bond franchise); Shreveport, Louisiana: not just for birthin’ Spears’ kids!; are you Jaman?; David Bowie calls “bullshit” on stage musical version of The Man Who Fell to Earth; and check out the latest from Cannes.

The Modern Materialist brings us the most evil calculator ever (don’t tease me!); Got Milk? Get this awesome milk-splash chair; all sorts o’ hour glasses; a dog house bigger than your apartment; the smoking cigarette gun; egg pants; and “You Condoms.” As Materialista Wendy says, “They're the modern day calling card — they feature an image on YOU right on the package. Just send in a photo of yourself and they'll make a stylized black and white image to create your very own calling card condoms. Klassy!”

And new video game blog 61 Frames Per Second brings us the trailer review for “The Conduit”; going vertical: how Capcom’s developers are changing the landscape of 3D games; a YouTube-r re-imagines Gradius as an old-fashioned text adventure; and are you “casual” or “hardcore”? Or is there another option…?

Hebrew Hammers: The Top 12 Tough Jews in Cinema

Nicole Ankowski — Thu, 15 May 2008 20:28:00 GMT

“If any of us get laid tonight, it’s because of Eric Bana in Munich.”

So says Seth Rogen’s full-time slacker Ben Stone at the start of 2007’s Knocked Up, heralding a recent shift in the pop culture persona of the Chosen People from neurotic schlimazels of the Woody Allen variety to bad-ass playas like Bana. But, although the concept of “Jewish action star” is a relatively new phenomenon, film history is filled with tales of Hebrew heroes (and heavies), from ancient Egypt to modern Israel.

And thus, in tribute to the upcoming June 6th release of Adam Sandler’s meshuga Israeli commando/hair-stylist comedy You Don’t Mess With the Zohan, Screengrab is proud to present The Top 12 Tough Jews in Cinema!” — Andrew Osborne

Check out all the Hebrew Hammers, right here.

Japandering: The Five Most Embarrassing Celebrity Commercials

Nicole Ankowski — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:17:00 GMT

We’ve known for a long time that famous American movie stars who would never deign to sully themselves doing television commercials at home have no such compunctions about doing them abroad, most often in Japan. This phenomenon was immortalized in Lost in Translation, of course, but the tasteful Suntory ad that Bill Murray’s character struggles to complete is not necessarily representative of the antics our most respected and treasured movie icons will get up to when they don’t think we’re watching. Nowadays, of course, thanks to YouTube and the invaluable resource Japander, we’re always watching! Let’s assume these five stars haven’t been humiliated enough and put them through the wringer one more time. — Scott Von Doviak

From Bruce Willis to Ah-nold to…Alex P. Keaton? Check out all five over at the Screengrab.

Screengrab Q&A: Garth Jennings and Nick Goldsmith, Directors of “Son of Rambow”

Nicole Ankowski — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:08:00 GMT

Nerve editor Peter Smith got to sit down with directors Garth Jennings and Nick Goldsmith. The duo made a name for themselves helming music videos for Blur, Pulp and R.E.M….not to mention a little film called The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Their latest, Son of Rambow, “follows schoolboy Will (newcomer Bill Milner, an instantly endearing tangle of scrawny limbs), raised by his mother in a conservative religious sect, the Plymouth Brethren. His upbringing has kept him away from all media, so when his troublemaking classmate Lee Carter shows him a bootleg copy of Sylvester Stallone's First Blood, his world is forever changed, and he and Lee Carter set off to make their own First Blood sequel — Son of Rambow."

The guys talk rehearsal, Rambo, and storytelling rapture, right here.

Screengrab Predicts the Top 5 Box-Office Bombs of 2008

Nicole Ankowski — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:28:00 GMT

Sex and the City? Say it ain’t so! Today Screengrab is predicting the “Top 5 box-office disappointments and/or outright disastrous flops of Summer 2008.” The Hulk, I’ll grant you. But I think there are enough SATC freaks, as well as Wachowski brothers (er, siblings?) fans to make the last two summertime success stories.

Check out all five right here, and make your own predictions! Whoever scores the most correct answers wins an imaginary fantasy date with Mike Myers or Sarah Jessica Parker…

Fresh from the Tribeca Film Festival...Screengrab’s Reviews

Nicole Ankowski — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 22:07:00 GMT

Screw the big-budget blockbusters, you say? (Don't listen to them, Iron Man!) Well then, check out the latest indie films, and which ones you should Netflix/stand in line for, should they ever hit the wide-release screens. Screengrab reports from Tribeca with the latest and greatest:

Baghead, which “opens with a fairly vicious parody of a half-assed “mumblecore’-style independent film that looks as if the print had been delivered to the projection room in a cinnamon roll box with the icing still stuck to the insides.” (Mmm, cinnamon rolls…)

From Within, “a good, nasty little horror picture about a mysterious rash of apparent suicides in a small town setting.”

Bill Plympton’s latest animated offering, Idiots & Angels.

Playing, “Brazilian filmmaker Eduardo Coutinho's documentary that sounds like a dumb stunt but plays as a fascinating study in the nature of acting and storytelling.”

Theater of War, of which the “prime attraction is supposed to be the chance to see the Public Theater production coming together and to see a glimpse of the ‘process’ of its star, Meryl Streep.”

My Winnipeg, in which director Guy Maddin, “eager to get at the roots of his unresolved childhood issues, decides to move back in with Mom and use some of the film budget to hire actors and a dog to ‘play’ his siblings and his ‘long, long, long-dead Chihuahua.’”

Profit Motive and the Whispering Wind, “a thrilling, one-of-a-kind picture, [that] by all rights ought to be the election-year movie of 2008. What's frustrating about it is simply the possibility that it may not be widely seen.”

The Zen of Bobby V, which “stars Bobby Valentine, a former player and manager in major league baseball” as well as “professional baseball's meaning to the Japanese fans and the evolution of the game in that country, where it's in danger of having already evolved as far as it's going to.”

Elite Squad, “the latest post-City of God potboiler that depicts Rio de Janeiro as being just like Miami Vice except with fewer washed-up rock stars.”
Sita Sings the Blues, a film that is “funny and eye-popping and never bogs down. It might also double as a great introduction for kids to the Eastern canon, assuming you don't mind your kids asking you to explain the joke about the mile-high club.”
Faubourg Treme: The Untold Story of Black New Orleans, filmed five years before Hurricane Katrina, is ”partly a history of Treme and partly a tribute to its enduring charm and the people who lived there, and on both those levels, it's a fine piece of work. But it's most memorable as a requiem, one made all the more affecting because the filmmakers shot most of it without having any way of knowing that they were recording a community that was on the verge of being hammered out of existence.”

The Auteur, which covers one week in the life of “the most artistically creative filmmaker working in hardcore pornography.”

Lioness, an “eye-opening documentary [which] deals with one of the least-covered aspects of the Iraq war: the role of American women in combat.”

Trucker, “a throwback, the kind of low-budget, low-impact drama about grubby, ordinary people that used to be as plentiful at film festivals as fleas on a sheepdog in summertime.”

David Mamet’s latest, Redbelt.

…and many, many more! Find ’em all at The Screengrab. Absolutely no waiting in line, whatsoever.

New on Nerve, 4.24.08: Revenge of the Nerds — The Ten Sexiest Guy Geeks in Cinema

Nicole Ankowski — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 21:59:00 GMT

Last week, Screengrab celebrated the 10 Sexiest Girl Geeks in Cinema...and now, in tribute to the return of that dreamy Professor Henry Jones, Jr. (in the hotly anticipated Kingdom of the Crystal Skull), the Screengrabbers present their equal-opportunity list of ten hot nerdy guys.

As with the previous list, most of these so-called nerds, geeks, dorks and maxi-zoom dweebies are played by actors who, in real life, are pretty easy on the eyes. But their characters, at least, are misfits and loners, undervalued diamonds in the rough just waiting to be discovered by some lucky, sharp-eyed lady (or gentleman).

Why lucky? Because as Robert Carradine’s Louis Skolnick says in Revenge of the Nerds (and as we at The Screengrab know oh so well): “Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex.”

Watch ‘em in action, in Part 1 and Part 2.

In Other Blogs, 4.23.08: Who Would You Rather?

Nicole Ankowski — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:16:00 GMT

The faboo Scanner crew delighted us with their Top 10 “Happy Earth Day” Sex Toys. But the fun doesn’t stop there. Get through “Hump Day” with a little help from your Scanner friends, and make sure to check out:

Who Would You Rather: Nancy Grace or Rachael Ray? Sadly, they didn’t give us a “none of the above” option.
Are you an effing potty mouth? The cuss-o-meter will let you know.
The Open-Source Boob Project. They wish Janet Jackson was involved.
Delta helps out in-flight masturbators.
Video of the Day: Doctors in the Philippines Remove a Can From a Man's Ass, Get a Good Laugh.
Pleasing boys and men everywhere: male masturbation “cuts cancer risk.” Of course, they didn’t mention the ladies. Medical equality, my humps.
Miley Cyrus will write a memoir; Scanner bloggers will rip their eyeballs out. (Also: if you are pedophile, you might enjoy these “pictures” of Miley.)
Smell Yo D*ck: the official video!
Good with a test tube? PETA might give you one million dollars.
More video: Norwegian Viking Metal band plays acoustic set for kindergartners. Why? Because “we need to let metal and Odin catch the kids before Jesus does." Obviously.
Self-validation: the “crazy cat lady” action figure.
Topless cello playing! And…bullshit?
Harry Potter’s real-life “wand”…rejected?! And Hermione is eighteen.

Want more? Live updates, all day long…at your DailyScanner.com.

The Screengrab brings us James Caan versus the Cookie Monster; hot mama Amy Poehler; Indiana Jones and the Curse of the Hollywood Accountants; Jessica Alba, serious actress!; and the trailer review of Neil LaBute’s Wicker Man remake, Lakeview Terrace.

And over at the Nerve Video Blog, has porn star Savanna Samson really been hired by Fox News? (And, do you want to see her in action?) Also check out: homeless James Bond; White House life; a cat versus a cake; the story of bacon; and the potato salad that brings all the boys to the yard. Delish!

Happy Earth Day! Check out Isabella Rossellini’s “Green Pornos”

Nicole Ankowski — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 14:47:00 GMT

No, the scene above is not from a David Lynch film. It’s an excerpt from Isabella Rosellini’s latest venture with the Sundance Channel, a series of uber-short, one-minute films examining the mating habits of various insects. Rosellini co-wrote the series, which she calls Green Porno, and she stars in each film…playing the male insect.

Screengrab brings us this video, in which Rosellini discusses men, mating, and what it’s like to have a giant papier-mache preying mantis bite your head off….

Read more about red ants, David Lynch, and Green Pornos in the Screengrab.

Screengrab’s “Geek Love: The Ten Sexiest Nerds in Cinema, Gen-XX Edition”

Nicole Ankowski — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 21:38:00 GMT

Don't you just love a girl in glasses? As Screengrabber Andrew Osborne (lustily, we presume) writes:

“With Smart People, Ellen Page reprises her wise-ass, brainy-sexy persona from Juno, reaffirming her place as the current It Girl for a brand new generation of future I.T. professionals and I.T.T. graduates.

Lord knows I enjoyed the standard-issue sex dolls of my Gen X adolescence, from Catherine Bach’s Daisy Duke to Sylvia Kristel’s steamy French maid in Private Lessons (which my parents naively allowed me to go see all by myself because it co-starred that nice Dr. Johnny Fever from WKRP In Cincinnati).

But horny fantasies aside, I knew from the get-go I was far too much of a Starlog-reading, drama club-joining, Honor-Roll attaining nerd to ever wind up with the hot blondes or the Bond babe, and so it was always the relatable, approachable freaks and geeks of cinema that gave me hope. And while most of the actresses on the following list were actually gorgeous starlets in real life, it was reassuring to believe the following characters, at least, would maybe lend you their panties if you ever needed to win a bet for a dozen floppy disks. (And don't worry, we'll get to the GUY geeks next week...but suggestions are certainly welcome!)”

Check out all the hot geeky action, in Part 1 and Part 2. Bet you can’t guess who Number One is…

In Other Blogs, 4.14.08: Cake, Cunnilingus and Heidi Klum

Nicole Ankowski — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 20:59:00 GMT

It’s Cake (or steak, or salad) and Cunnilingus Day over at the Scanner - but whatever you choose to snack on today, make sure you check out all the sexy and crazy going down on this fine Monday. To wit: An Italian porn star does politics; a mostly naked Heidi Klum; the best way to get a one-night stand to make a hasty retreat; and the Marilyn Monroe sex tape you’ll probably never get to see. Also: fingers crossed that somehow this is true and Al Gore will finally be able to save America like he always wanted to.

Over at yon Screengrab, it’s confirmed: Werner Herzog is one great big mystery wrapped in an enigma, wrapped up in bacon and enveloped in strange interview responses; James Cagney still kicks ass and takes names; an awkward breakfast with Bud Cort; and a cause worth supporting. Also: file this under “Sweet merciful crap WHY IS THIS HAPPENING”: a fourth Austin Powers movie? Are you freaking kidding? …Sigh.

The Nerve Video Blog continues to have their metaphorical muffins buttered by Senator Obama, even especially when he has to awkwardly schmooze with a drunken American public, and across the pond, we’re not sure if Britain’s got talent, necessarily, but this dog totally freaking rules. Also wrecking the video world: hot dog pizza, Cooking with Coolio, and Bozard and the BBQ Boys. Bon appetit, y’all.

— Caitlin MacRae

Screengrab’s Open Letter to Mike Myers

Nicole Ankowski — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:28:00 GMT

RE: Austin Powers 4.

"Dear Mr. Myers:

There is no blood in that stone. Please cease squeezing the stone..."

Read more (Jay Roach! Gisele Bundchen! Police Academy!) over at the Screengrab.

In Other Blogs, 4.11.08: Friday WTF Edition

Nicole Ankowski — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 21:32:00 GMT

O my, O me…what a week it’s been! Let’s start with the Big-O: Scanner finds that the new Gossip Girl ads make you feel a little funny down there. But that’s the least of the WTF-worthy items of note:

Can you guess who has a new vagina?
Prostitution 101: class trip to the Chicken Ranch.
Is that a naked woman in Dick Cheney's sunglasses? Or is he just happy to see us?
Which Would You Rather: Rufus Wainwright's Green "Advocate" or Madonna's Green "Vanity Fair?"
“Jock Itch”: the best porno poster ever?
Bush signed torture memo: no joke. Unless the White House administration was kidding, all those times they insisted he didn’t.
Finally! An outlet for passive-aggressive note-leavers, and their prey.
Video of the Day: Pequeña Amy Winehouse.
Rape = chocolate cake?
“Extra Pillow” = prostitute?
The shitty things that happen to live, on-camera reporters: also kinda funny?
Candy Spelling sympathizes with Mommie Dearest.
Jessica Simpson decides to be super happy about little sister Ashlee's engagement to Pete Wentz.
Scary skinny Terri Hatcher performed a Carrie Underwood song on American Idol: if she weren't Terri Hatcher we might have thought it wasn't half bad.
Piss-poor Photoshoppers add third arm to Beyoncé.

On Screengrab, we wish Tina Fey was our baby mama; Paul Clark defends Uwe Boll; check out the which clique picks “Hick” flick; the Zombie Strippers trailer review; hotel dirty movie channels under siege by a clutch of conservative groups; and Blogwars!

And the Nerve Video Blog brings us Hayden Panettiere, in a very special PSA; disembodied-head Thursday, and dance-party Friday. Enjoy!

Screengrab’s Top Ten Baseball Movie All-Stars

Nicole Ankowski — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 22:09:00 GMT

Spring is here! Okay, not in my apartment, but I've read that it's here, some places, apparently, and with it, the return of what's left of baseball, the American game. Sports in general, and baseball in particular, have a spotty history in the movies. I think I've been reading that sports movies are box-office poison since before I'd ever seen a sports movie and maybe before I had any clear grasp of the concept of "box-office poison." (Then I saw a trailer for Catwoman.) But anything that inspires the kind of passion, excitement, despair, and apoplexy that baseball inspires in its hardcore adherents has got to inspire some great characters. Here's a bullpen's worth of them. — Phil Nugent

In Other Blogs, 4.8.08: Who Would You Rather?

Nicole Ankowski — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 21:19:00 GMT

Sometimes, the jokes just write themselves. Case in point: the New Zealand man being charged with assault for flinging a hedgehog at a 15-year-old boy. Then again, sometimes it’s harder to find the funny. Lucky for us, Scanner brings their A-game on the daily. Take a jaunt with them down to the Museum of Broken Relationships, where jilted lovers showcase the detritus of their failed romances; then marvel at the architectural porn that is the Finnish ice palace (like that story by F. Scott Fitzgerald! Anyone? Anyone?). But Scanner doesn’t just bring the news, they also ask the questions others are afraid to tackle, such as: How skinny is unf*ckable if you’re Jennifer Connolly? Tyra Banks vs. Jessie Spano, who’d you rather? Plus: The last supper turned hot gay orgy.

Over in Screengrab territory, we get a migraine-inducing preview of Oliver Stone’s Dubya biopic which, from the script snippets we’ve been handed, may as well be called Turdblossom and Friends; The Rep Report brings us the art house haps in three major cities; the DVD Digest gives us the skinny newly released flicks, from Munchausen to milkshakes; and finally, we get a look at Scarlett Johansson’s bone-crushingly literal album cover for her upcoming release (seriously, the only other option on the obviousness scale would be Tom Waits swaddled in a sheet.)

And lastly but not leastly, the Nerve Video Blog serves up bears playing hockey, the infamous pregnant man inviting the SNL cast to his baby shower (complete with pregnant stripper!), and an airline ad featuring hot buttered tits.

— Caitlin MacRae

New on Nerve, 4.7.08: Screengrab Reviews “The Ruins”

Nicole Ankowski — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 17:26:00 GMT

Screengrab’s fearless Scott Von Doviak reviews The Ruins today. Don’t you love a good review of a really bad film? Here’s a sneak peak:
“It is more or less at this point that the movie goes off the rails. It's one thing to read about talking, man-eating vines and manage to take them seriously; it's quite another to watch it play out on the screen in all its CGI crapulence.”

My question: why is poor Jena Malone involved? Hope it earned you a down payment on that condo, baby. Read the entire review here.

In Other Blogs, 4.4.08: Friday WTF Edition

Nicole Ankowski — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 21:32:00 GMT

In addition to some Friday well-wishing that’ll take you way back to the glory days of Prince and his entourage (and deep into the dark subconscious of Scanner Nicole’s sleeping mind), Scanner brings us up to date with this week’s big gay news, including the gay naturist swimming hour, Chelsea Clinton courting the queermo constituency, E-harmony’s ludicrous bigotry, and a high school student suing for his right to be a bigot.

And as always (but especially today), Scanner brings up questions that burn hotter than a bad infection:
…Anime spooge sculptures?
Sonny Bono: was the skiing accident really a covert government assassination?
A bra made of raw bacon? We totally predicted this four days ago.
What’s better than Richard Simmons, Jimmy Kimmel, and the cowboy narrator of The Big Lebowski? (Answer: very little)
Ladies, how do you take your porn: gay, lesbian, or hetero?
Are we finally allowed to hate on Wong Kar-Wai?
And, finally, Bigfoot: benevolent myth or secret molester?

Over at the Video Blog, your cup of WTF runneth over. Between the heartbreaking tale of Permanent Nutface Gary, flying penguins, an elephant painting a self-portrait, and John McCain threatening an inquisitive youngster with the draft … well, sometimes the internets just leave us speechless.

And lastly but not leastly, today’s Screengrab offerings tops off your day in whatthef*ck, beginning with the trailer for the new Cameron Diaz-Ashton Kutcher vehicle, which might just be the film world’s fourth horseman of the apocalypse. (Seriously. Why is this allowed to happen?) Also: Have music documentaries finally gone too far? What about the seemingly endless spawning of musicals from films we actually liked once? Can the world be saved by the likes of the 48 Hour Film Project or….gasp… Wong Kar-Wai?

Tune in next week for more questions without answers!

— Caitlin MacRae

From Heath Ledger to Marilyn Monroe: Screengrab’s Top 10 Uncompleted Movies

Nicole Ankowski — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 14:32:00 GMT

The sad death of Heath Ledger caused speculation that the film he had been shooting, Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, might be in jeopardy. This isn't the first time that the loss of a principle cast member has threatened to shut down a movie. Witness the battle Doug Trumbull had to fight to keep Brainstorm from being written off when Natalie Wood died. Of course, there are various movies that had not been finished for one reason or another, some through accidents and others to a simple lack of interest. What follows is a list of 10 of the more promising or at least potentially interesting films that were not released in their intended form for one reason or another. — Faisal A. Qureshi

Check out what could have been, in Part 1 and Part 2.

We Puke in Our Mouths: Nicholas Cage to Play Hired Assassin with Heart of Gold, Hot Taiwanese Girlfriend

Nicole Ankowski — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 22:27:00 GMT

What new Nicholas Cage movie’s trailer features the following deep-voiced taglines?

When it comes to killing, make it quick, make it clean, and never make it personal.

When you deal in the business of death, saving a life may be the most deadly job of all.

BANGKOK DANGEROUS!

It is impossible to type out that title in anything other than all-caps.

Learn more about BANGKOK DANGEROUS over at Screengrab, as well as check out the trailers for The Life Before Her Eyes (originally titled In Bloom), Eddie Murphy’s Meet Dave, and The X-Files 2.

(Oh, Nicolas, how we miss your Moonstruck days...)

In Other Blogs, 3.31.08: Monday News, Including “Nude Man, Charged with Having Sex with Table”

Nicole Ankowski — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 22:22:00 GMT

Remember the original Nintendo, and the awe that came along with the release of Mario 3, complete with the raccoon tail feature that enabled Mario to fly? Well even if you don’t, video blogger Oliver does, and over at the Nerve Video Blog you can get a flashback-taste of that raccoon tail, along with a disturbing clip of Grand Theft Auto IV, apparently, the new “raccoon tail” for children of today…

Meanwhile, Scanner Emily is reminding us of yet another technological advancement that makes today’s childhoods just a little more F’ed up than ours was: Facebook! How does everyone feel about the new “people you might know” feature? Well Emily has an opinion, and yes, it has everything to do with ex-boyfriend angst…

Also on Scanner: Group French kissing: recipe for the Herp? Probably, but that didn’t stop this chain of New Yorkers from trying to break the world record! Also, did you watch TV last night? Hopefully you caught Scanner’s latest Crush of The Week. Plus: Pedophile beard; the ten weirdest pizza toppings; and a man has been charged with having sex with a table. We have so many questions about this…

Over at Screengrab, it’s all gossip, gossip, gossip surrounding Oliver Stone’s developing biopic W. James Cromwell as George Bush Sr.? Jeffrey Wright as Colin Powell? Maybe yes, maybe no- one thing we do know that this little project is going to be one hell of a goodbye present for good ol’ Dubya come January… Also: who knew April 1^st wasn’t just for foolin’?; The Top Bleakest Movie Endings; and, Tintin Revealed (he’s a cutie)!

— Alexandra Godfrey

In Other Blogs, 3.28.08: Friday WTF Edition

Nicole Ankowski — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 21:22:00 GMT

They don't look fuzzy to us...

Okay, there is a huuuuge debate going on over at Scanner. Granted, the “huuuge” part of it might be in my mind, but there is a debate. And it raises the question: is Maggie Gyllenhaal sexy? (Or is Secretary the most over-rated “sexy” film of the past decade?) Scanner Brian opens this can of worms, while also bringing you the nastiest sex scenes ever. “Nasty” as in a scene which both “turns you on and repulses you at the same time.”

Also under debate: Hot or Not? Scarlett Johansson's Fuzzy Nipple. Yes, there are pictures. And video.

Plus: Tina Fey wants “Kristen” (a.k.a. Ashley Alexandra Dupre) to appear on 30 Rock. And after I volunteered my uterus for that woman…
Scanner Bryan’s hard-on threatens to smash his keyboard: Children of Men: The Television Series.
Today in Global Warming: 10 Fun Surprises.
Scanner Emily hates herself for loving Men in Trees. (We, too, have researched moving to Alaska…)
School’s out; students celebrate by having giant orgy in town square.
Then the kids went home to watch 80s cartoon moments that, back in the day, made us pee in our Ninja Turtle-footed pajamas.
It’s not just Southwest: TSA forces woman to remove her nipple rings. Yes, they used pliers.
Meet Rip Glitter, the most metal online product reviewer in history.
Kate from Lost! Before she was famous! Looking to meet singles just like you!
Dominatrix offers service discounts for Bear Stearns employees.
Miss Bimbo is just misunderstood.
Sacré Blue! French First Lady is all nekkid and shit.

The Screengrab brings us more news on the X-Files leaked trailer; also, the Deception’s trailer kind of freaks us out (Hugh Jackman? Ewan McGregor? Sex games? Michelle Williams in blood-red lipstick? WTF is going on?); Penn & Teller…get killed?; and, of course, the Ten Greatest Mentors in Movie History.

And the Nerve Video Blog also takes a look at some trailers, including The Onion Movie and Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Undead. Plus: fondue and major boobage; Wal-Mart; and one hilarious commercial that would never be aired in the United States…

Screengrab’s Ten Greatest Mentors in Movie History

Nicole Ankowski — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:14:00 GMT

From “greed is good” to “wax on, wax off,” Hollywood has created an amazing array of mentors over the years. Need some life advice? Check out Screengrab’s Ten Greatest Mentors in Movie History. It’s like an instant array of senseis for your own personal enlightenment, neatly packaged in Part 1 and Part 2.

In Other Blogs, 3.26.08: Amy Winehouse's Facegate!

Nicole Ankowski — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 21:53:00 GMT

Today Scanner Emily bulldozes through heaps of dirt to bring us the latest goods on the Amy Winehouse Facegate drama. Apparently, British tabbie The Sun uncovered the less-than-flattering face shots. Says Emily, “We're not the type to kick people when they're down. Nor do we want to (publicly) pick at people's flaws. So you should know we feel really bad showing you this picture of Amy Winehouse.”

Speaking of the paps, South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s recent Britney Spears skewering is too rich for words. We’re fine with mere mumbles.

Scanner Brian is convulsing through his “nerdgasm” as he polishes off sexy Simpsons avatars from the cast of Battlestar Galactica.

Meanwhile, FOX News staffers are convulsing with fits of a different breed. Their faux moral outrage sniff test of the satire Miss Bimbo Virtual Fashion Game has failed them yet again.

A mossback spoof of MTV’s fakality show The Hills is better than the actual show. But then again, it doesn’t take too much.

In douchebag news, Girls Gone Wild Joe Francis could be headed back to the chink.

Screengrab examines a New York magazine article on John Waters, which finds the cutting-edge auteur interested in fake rubber pies and books on Nazism; ponders whether Brad Pitt and Barack Obama were separated at birth; lambastes Entertainment Weekly’s umpteenth list, this on movie villains; and previews Kids director Harmony Korine’s new flick, Mister Lonely.

— Joey Hood

In Other Blogs, 3.21.08: Friday WTF Edition

Nicole Ankowski — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 21:22:00 GMT

well, she's kinda-sorta related to today's wtf

Today Scanner Brian has been lounging in his “family's outdoor hot tub on a lake in the Connecticut wilderness, armed with boxed wine, rifles, purified water, and four hundred-plus orgiastic packs of Canadian geese.” But he made sure to drag his laptop over to the tub and share the joy: check out Bottoms for Obama.

And we’ve got more: Alien sex. With pictures, yo.
Oh, Lindsay. Watch out for hidden cameras, girl!
Mick Jagger enlightens us to how performing onstage is like sex; but how reading a book is not at all like sex. Also: he’s skinny because he’s a “war child.” Not because he’s snorted Keith Richards’ dad.
Discover our addictive, mindless website of the Day: P.S. I'll Find My Frog.
Nerd porn perplexes, delights.
New advances in ways to exploit (er, merchandise?) Ashley Alexandra Dupre.
Do you really want to see Eva Longoria Parker nude? (How about Scarlett Johansson?)
Dave Grohl and Will Ferrell vs. a Japanese ten-year-old.
Ron Jeremy wants to destroy your YouPorn.
Paris Hilton finds the perfect hat to wear when visiting a South African orphanage.
Another intern scandal: why won’t New York learn from Bill Clinton’s mistakes?
The Onion goes full frontal. But is it as hot as Chuck Norris wearing “Chuck Norris Action Jeans”?
Science finally justifies Anna Nicole Smith’s marriage to J. Howard Marshall. For evolutionary reasons, yo.
An open letter to Iraq, from America.
And make sure to celebrate Pillow Fight 2008 tomorrow!

Screengrab examines when good directors go bad (Not Errol Morris and Lou Diamond Phillips! No!); wonders what the hell Tyler Perry is doing in panty hose; plays Truth or Dare with Ricky Gervais; and brings us the ten best (however you choose to define “best”) murderous duos in the movies…don’t’ go outside alone!

And the Nerve Video Blog discovers the most rad school project ever: a “war on terror” film made entirely from porno clips. Check it here. Also, James Franco teaches us how to emote. An internet life coach teaches us five simple ways to have better sex. We don’t really believe the Easter Bunny hates us. And see the best TV pilot that never saw the light of day.

Screengrab’s Ten Best Murderous Duos in Movies

Nicole Ankowski — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 18:25:00 GMT

Screengrab brings us a list of their fave Ten Best Murderous Duos in Movies. You wouldn’t want to meet any of these dudes (or ladies!) in a dark alley; check ‘em out, in Part 1 and Part 2.

Though personally, I found John Travolta’s painted-on hair at the Oscars slightly more terrifying…

[images courtesy flippin’ Oscar.com]

In Other Blogs, 3.19.08: The End of the World As We Know It

Nicole Ankowski — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 20:58:00 GMT

What a whirlwind o’ activity in the bloggy netherlands. Here are some highlights from today:

Scanner Emily’s open letter to Ashley Alexandra Dupre (let her write your book, girl!).
[see also: the Ashley Alexandra Dupre Girls Gone Wild video]
Scanner Brian hates himself for loving you, Slut Machine.
Amy Winehouse gets naked, for real, for a good cause.
We’re just waiting to see what charities Heather Mills, nee McCartney, will be endowing. Besides her own closet.
Recession special: what businesses can learn from porn (and maybe Burt Reynolds).
Name those gnarly celebrity toes (for once: not Britney Spears’!).
Michael Stipe: officially gay. (Me: officially mourning the end of my fifth-grade-era dream of one day becoming Mrs. Michael Stipe. It’s the end of the world as I know it.)
Hot or Not? Madonna’s Hard Candy.
Babeland Staff: The MacGyvers of dildos?
And (surprise?) W.H. Auden was one dirty mothersucker.

Screengrab brings us the Indie box-office roundup (Snow Angels takes flight); Regal Cinemas to allow trailers with fart jokes; we’re still mourning Anthony Minghella; is 10,000 B.C. director Roland Emmerich’s mom is his harshest critic?; and (yes! yes! yes!) the new Street Fighter movie has been cast.

And the Nerve Video Blog brings us a fabulous procrastination tool; “Braa! Braa! It's the Melon Song!” (don’t ask—just watch); video from Tibet; and the Army’s annual “Bring Your Daughter to War Day.”

In Other Blogs, 3.17.08: Holy Effing Hell

Nicole Ankowski — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 22:17:00 GMT

Is my subject line a tad extreme? You be the judge. We’ve got a ton of funny, odd, and hot bits o’ pop culture for you today…but Scanner brings the most insane news report I’ve ever seen, involving semen in hair:

“A 21-year old woman is suing American Airlines for failing to protect her from involuntarily and unknowingly joining the mile high club. Apparently as the women slept during her flight from LA to Dallas, she got more than just beauty sleep. 20 minutes before the flight landed, the woman woke up to discover that a man had moved into the seat next to her, was looking at her, and masturbating. The woman responded my turning towards the window and nervously running her fingers through her hair when, in a There's Something About Mary moment (no, not the franks and beans one), she realized she had ‘a substantial amount of an extremely sticky substance in her hair.’”

Read all about it here.

In other, less horrifying news: see the best photo of Tori Spelling and the Target dog, ever! (plus, her boobs are fake); we say goodbye to Halle Berry’s glorious (and real) pregnancy breasts; learn how to save your relationship…and burn 300 calories; why philandering politicians better be careful if they marry a babe from Spain; Asia Argento threatens to stop doing nude scenes; a Chicago teen says foil just as good as condoms; maybe the Lesbian Park Rangers can help him out; the sexy women of Bollywood almost make us leave the audio on; and some awesome, awesome pics of shamrock pasties and more St. Patrick’s Day sexiness. Or, at the very least, some dude with a green beard…

The Screengrab brings us a St. Paddy’s Day special: singing Irishmen! Also check out: the trailer review of Meet Bill (“Jessica Alba — enjoy your stardom while it lasts, because once you can't coast on your looks anymore, you're going to be in a world of trouble”); the pervert’s guide to cinema; and the SxSW review of Full Battle Rattle.

And the Nerve Video Blog wears its green on its sleeve, bringing you a St. Patrick’s Day video feast featuring Miller’s Crossing; “Danny Boy” performed by the Muppets; Dennis Leary and Sinead O’Connor singing traditional Irish songs (not together, sadly); and somebody else with a song about potatoes. Plus: the sexiness of The L Word; the sexiness of Jonah Hill dating Andy Samberg’s dad; celebrities favorite curse words (yep, they say ‘em out loud!); and the return of 90210 causes Oliver to curse…

In Other Blogs, 3.14.08: Friday WTF Edition

Nicole Ankowski — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:45:00 GMT

Today Scanner discovered the most glorious way to waste your time ever (or, at least in the last twelve hours)…You’ll want to make the acquaintance of Flickrvision. I’ll let Scanner Bryan explain:

“Holy Shinola, people -- have you seen Flickrvision yet? It's pretty much the best thing we've ever seen, and we were at a bachelor party this weekend.

Basically, it's a Google Maps mashup where photos are geo-located on a world map, one at a time, within a minute of their being uploaded onto Flickr. No nudity or anything -- it is Flickr, after all -- but in the 4 minutes that we spent hypnotized by it, we caught some hockey, adorable Indian kids, Bill Gates, SXSW, the other night's Justice show at MSG, Noel from The Mighty Boosh, and a bunch of plants in Wales. Oh, and this pic, which comes to you directly from a freaking war zone.”

Other nearly-as-glorious wastes of time: see what happens when you mix Snoop Dogg with Ashley Alexandra Dupre; it’s a sensual seduction!; check out great reviews of bad movies; the video of the day: gay pink stick figures; Pi Day; deep thoughts on hipster sexuality; and meet Sarah Jessica Porkher.

Screengrab continues with the SxSW love, with reviews of Second Skin, Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay and more; plus, see Norah Jones in the My Blueberry Nights trailer.

And the Nerve Video Blog brings us the “Top Five Trio Scenes” in movie history (that’s threesomes, in plain English); an art film of zits being popped; Harry Potter puppets; and Horton Hears a Who! And we have heard enough WTF for today...

Screengrab’s Apocalypse Now and Then: Ten Great End-of-the-World Movie Scenarios

Nicole Ankowski — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 19:12:00 GMT

Phil Nugent over at Screengrab writes: “Neil Marshall's new sci-fi action thriller Doomsday, starring the very hard-to-mind-looking-at Rhona Mitra, opens [today]. It is but the latest in a long and hallowed tradition of using the controlled, expensive technology of motion pictures to imagine how things will look as our planet, spinning out of control with its resources depleted, chews through its last nerve and prepares to breathe its last. We don't know for sure how the world will really end of course, but one thing's for sure; if the last person who's there to see it has seen the right movies, he's certain to spend his last minutes experiencing a powerful sensation of deja vu.”

They may not mention global warming, or the fact that Nicole Richie is now a mom, but check out the “Ten Great End-of-the-World Movie Scenarios,” conveniently packaged in Part 1 and Part 2.

Screengrab Review: Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

Nicole Ankowski — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:52:00 GMT

Harold and Kumar, much like the White Castles they so craved, are an acquired taste. I, for one, happen to love all three…as well as the renaissance of Neil Patrick Harris. Screengrab is at SxSW this week, and happened to catch a sneak peek of "Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay.”

Would the Harold and Kumar franchise become a sounding bell for radicalism? Would the bodily secretion jokes and dope references take a back seat to fiery condemnation of America's notorious prison camp on foreign soil? Was this movie actually going to teach us something?

Check out the full review here. And for video proof of why NPH is the best part of Harold and Kumar…