Nerve Insider : lube

From the Archives: Sex Advice From… Irish-Americans

Nicole Ankowski — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 14:49:00 GMT

I actually conducted these interviews my damn self, one year ago…and boy did these fabulous Irish-Americans educate my non-Irish ass. For the low-down on poppers, whiskey dick, and getting over Catholic guilt…check out Sex Advice From…Irish-Americans.

How can I get over my Catholic guilt?
I mean really, you can't. I had a breakdown the other day because I didn't go to mass for Ash Wednesday. It doesn't matter how long you've been a recovering Catholic, you can't get over the guilt.

Leprechaun hats, lube, and more, right here.

About Last Night: We Crash the Playgirl Party…

Nicole Ankowski — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:29:00 GMT

We figured, why not check out Playgirl’s April Issue Launch Party? It was at a bar called “Happy Endings,” it was within walking distance from Nerve…and it promised free vodka and goodie bags. Plus: we really hoped that there would be male waiters wearing bowties and no shirts. I mean, if you’re gonna throw a Playgirl party, you might as well go all the way, right?

The line outside was cold, but inside the transexual ladies were hot. There was little seating, few men, and (sadly) no shirtless waiters. (WTF, Playgirl?) There were some great pick-up lines. Our fave of the night, from two tall, European dudes with indeterminate accents: “Who are better liars, men or women?” One of our savvy ladies immediately recognized this as a Mystery pick-up line. Mystery must have trained the guys himself, because when we said as much they were completely unfazed:
“Vat? Ees a good pick-up line, no? Ees so good, because zee women can tell zee men ve are bastards!” (Later, we're pretty sure we saw them, naked, in the magazine. Who knew?!)

Playgirl stopped serving the free alcohol at 8:57 pm. Yes, our cheap asses noted the time (it was cold outside!). We were sad:

We grabbed our goodie bags on the way out, and examined the loot after stopping for late-night pizza and drunken photo shoots. Sadly, I can't show you some of the pics that really amused the pizza guys. But we enjoyed our goodie bags:

Lessons learned: Playboy is sexier than Playgirl. And this from a straight gal.

Free vodka is not worth losing toes to frostbite.

If you drunkenly give a strange guy on the street extra lube from your goodie bag, he will follow you. And offer you a ride to New Jersey. Do not accept.

And, we are so not Playgirl's target audience:

New on Nerve, 11.28.2007: Sex and Dating Advice from Miss Information

Sarah — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 16:00:00 GMT

It’s Wednesday, which means another dose of Miss Information. Today she serves up some excellent advice for a) a guy who wants to know how to turn down the dreaded good-email bad-picture online dating prospect b) an anal adventurer wondering about the best lube and c) the wife of a foot-fetishist whose husband is taking his longing outside the relationship.

Just in case you don’t read the entire column (which you should), here’s one thing you should know:

“Nothing wrong with using Crisco. There are quite a few doctors who say it's okay to use in limited amounts, provided you test a small area and watch for your reaction. But I'm not sure you'd want to rub anything called "shortening" on or around an organ that's usually revered for its length.”