Nerve Insider : Sex Advice From

New on Nerve, 5.22.08: Dating Advice From…Voiceover Artists

Nicole Ankowski — Thu, 22 May 2008 16:43:00 GMT

I used to do voiceover work…and you know what? This is totally true. Much like in life, a smile can change everything:

What's the best way to sound sexy on the phone?
You know how you can hear it when a person is smiling? It literally changes the tone of your voice. You use different muscles. Same goes for posture. Lie down, turn the lights low and voila.

As can lying down and turning off the lights. Check out more Dating Advice From…Voiceover Artists right here.

New on Nerve, 5.8.08: Dating Advice From…Foreign-Exchange Students

Nicole Ankowski — Thu, 08 May 2008 14:45:00 GMT

Today’s Dating Advice From… offers some seriously good tips. With helpful hints on the transitory nature of love, seduction, and smoking up…you know you want to read it:

I met a guy who hardly speaks any English, and I don't speak his language at all. We've gone on a few dates together and had a great time anyway. Can this possibly last?
It won't last. But continue dating him and take advantage of the positives — enjoy your time with him, get into his native culture and pick up some of his language. All the English I know, I learned from the hot girls.

Lo amate? Check out the bello advice, right here.

New on Nerve, 5.1.08: Dating Advice From…Miss High Times Contestants

Nicole Ankowski — Thu, 01 May 2008 16:53:00 GMT

Each year, using a rigorous selection process that involves photo shoots, interviews and talent competitions, the marijuana-smoker's bible picks one young lady to grace the cover of their annual swimsuit issue as Miss High Times. Nerve asked four of this year's entrants for their advice on sex, dating and relationships.

My girlfriend says pot increases her enjoyment of sex, and she wants to smoke up every time. Should I be concerned?
You should be concerned because this will probably make your dates more expensive. But that's about the only concern I can think of.

Say it hurts my feelings that I can't satisfy her without chemical aid.
I would say tough titty.

Read all the ladies’ advice right here.

New on Nerve, 4.24.08: Dating Advice From…Medieval Historians

Nicole Ankowski — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 14:21:00 GMT

Need some advice for getting medieval on someone’s ass? (I couldn’t resist; sorry.) Do chicks in horned Viking helmets get you hot? Either way, you’ll want to check out Dating Advice From…Medieval Historians:

I like to watch the History Channel, but the guy I'm dating just wants to watch things like Keeping Up With the Kardashians. I can't help but judge him for this. Does this make me a snob? How can I overcome this?
In regards to your question, "Am I a snob?" I'm going to respond with a resounding "yes." You need to bridge the gap — spend time watching both sets of your programs together and addressing both the positive and negative qualities in them. You can rip apart My Super Sweet Sixteen, but also contextualize the program as a response to the demands of hyper-consumptive, twenty-first century industrialized American society.

What's the best way to impress a medievalist?
Bust out some mad Latin skills.

Carpe diem, baby. See all their advice here

New on Nerve, 4.17.08: Dating Advice From…Law Students

Nicole Ankowski — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:43:00 GMT

Everyone knows at least one law student, that magical creature still in its academic, coffee-tinted chrysalis. Soon it will break free, begin paying off student loans, and transform into a suit-clad lawyer. But before that happens, let us delve deep into the mating rituals and habits of these stunning creatures in Dating Advice From…Law Students.

How can I snag a future lawyer?
Law students are often a dangerous match for each other, so as a fun outsider, you're looking pretty good. Get a job as a barista at Starbucks, a cigarette vendor, or at a bar across the street from the law school.

Masturbation when you think your partner is asleep? Roommate flirting? And a ton of really hot (I mean, seriously smokin’) law students for your viewing pleasure…right here.

New on Nerve, 4.3.08: Dating Advice From…The Recently Dumped

Nicole Ankowski — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:37:00 GMT

Think you have to be in a relationship to dole out dating advice? Hells no. Sometimes those recent breakups shed some insightful truths on the entire dating world. Check out today’s Dating Advice From…The Recently Dumped. They’re not bitter, they just tell it like it is….

What's the best remedy for the break-up blues?
In order: Friends, wine, cigarettes, your hand, and a little bit of trickle over.

Trickle over? Ex sex?
Yeah.

Heed the advice right here.

From the Archives: Sex Advice From… Irish-Americans

Nicole Ankowski — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 14:49:00 GMT

I actually conducted these interviews my damn self, one year ago…and boy did these fabulous Irish-Americans educate my non-Irish ass. For the low-down on poppers, whiskey dick, and getting over Catholic guilt…check out Sex Advice From…Irish-Americans.

How can I get over my Catholic guilt?
I mean really, you can't. I had a breakdown the other day because I didn't go to mass for Ash Wednesday. It doesn't matter how long you've been a recovering Catholic, you can't get over the guilt.

Leprechaun hats, lube, and more, right here.

New on Nerve, 1.17.08: Dating Advice from . . . the Corduroy Club

Will Doig — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 16:32:00 GMT

Corduroy is, in many ways, as close to perfect as a textile can get. Comfy, sexy, and available in a variety of wales, it's no wonder it has it's own fan club. (Just like clouds!) Nerve asked four card-carrying members of the Corduroy Appreciation Club for their advice on dating, sex and relationships.

What's the best corduroy item to wear on a first date?
Probably corduroy socks, so I don't get cold feet before meeting the unfortunate lady in question. Corduroy socks also provide traction against most dashboards. A fact!

Find more fun facts here.

From the Archives: In Praise of the Missionary Position

Nicole Ankowski — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 16:26:00 GMT

While vanilla sex has been bulwarked by pruned-faced housefraus—or slaves to the patriarchy, as the Freidans call it—contributing writer Rebecca Archer's personal narrative, “In Praise of the Missionary Position,” offers a stunning vis-à-vis in defense of “natural sex.” First published on the site in 2002, Archer's kink-free account offers a fresh twist on an old parlor room favorite. She made no bones about bottoming: “I am a lazy fuck,” she wrote. But with her salty anecdotes involving a Hitachi vibrator, “In Praise of the Missionary Position” becomes a movement for the submissive everywoman...just not Phyllis Schlafly. — Joey Hood

Playing Catch-Up: Film Reviews and Photo Galleries

Sarah — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 17:00:00 GMT

The Nerve Insider was on vacation last week and we missed some great content. Let’s catch up…

- Monday’s horoscopes told Taurus to get ready for the mile-high club.

- On Friday we had two photo galleries, one of men smoking and one film-inspired woman. Something for everyone here…

- Also on Friday, film reviews. There Will Be Blood is “certainly some sort of masterpiece;” Persepolis “remains a great work;” The Orphanage “is eminently watchable.”

- On Thursday we got dating advice from Polar Bears. No, not real polar bears, silly! These cold-loving humans told us that “sex in the water is the best — you're like a fish.” Noted. But we may wait ‘til summer to test this one out.

New on Nerve: 12.20.2007: Dating Advice from . . . The Holiday Market

Sarah — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 16:20:00 GMT

Happy Holidays! Today we get dating advice from the holiday market. Insider Scoop Alert! It’s the holiday market at Union Square, NYC.

Antonia Daly, 41 gives some great advice for people in relationships: “When you're in a relationship, you have to give yourself the freedom to realize that there are a lot of other people out there who might be compatible with you. It can be energizing, and make you feel more sensuous.”

Load up on all the advice on here.

Dating and Relationship Advice from Knife Throwers

Sarah — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 16:00:00 GMT

Today’s advice is sharp! It cuts through the BS! It’s right on target!

What can the sport of knife-throwing teach us about sex?
Knife-throwing teaches you to trust your instincts, not over-think things and develop an intuitive sense of timing. It is amazing what a difference it makes when your mind and body are actually connected. – Rebecca, 36

What's the greatest lesson you've learned about relationships?
Opposites attract, but in nearly all cases, these relationships are destined to fail. Find someone who has similar interests to you, who you're truly compatible with in as many ways as possible. – Matt the Knife, 27

Meet the throwers here.

New on Nerve, 12.6.2007: Sex Advice From . . . “The Brooklynites”

Sarah — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 16:05:00 GMT

The Brooklynites is a book of photography, essays and interviews about Brooklyn and those who live there. Photographer Seth Kushner and writer Anthony LaSala spent three years compiling the book’s content, which features 206 Brooklyn residents. In today’s Sex Advice From… column we ask four of them for sex and dating wisdom.

I'm a Midwesterner who wants to impress a Brooklynite. What should I do?
"When I've met people that are from another place and they've tried to act all Brooklyn, I'm not impressed. Tell him a story about where you're from. Also, you can impress me by knowing the subway system, because even I don't always understand it, and I'm from here." -- Dean Haspiel, 40

"Be yourself — a lot of New Yorkers have a redneck fantasy." -- Molly Crabapple, 24

"Show me that you know more about my town than us being a bunch of Mafiosos." -- Skeery Jones, 33

"If you're a tall, strong, farm-boy type, just reveal your biceps on the first approach and get to the hello." -- Maya Azucena, "between 16 and 40"

New on Nerve, 11.29.2007: Sex Advice From… America’s Most Smartest Model Stars

Sarah — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 16:30:00 GMT

This week’s sex advice comes from contestants on America’s Most Smartest Model.

"The guy I'm crushing on prefers the Mandy Lynn type, and I'm a flat-chested brunette. How can I win him over?
Put on some lip plumper, put highlights in your hair, get breast implants. That's how I look.

Get breast implants?
It's not a big deal. Everyone's got their boobs done. I've only had them done once. People act like I'm a plastic-surgery nut, but I'm so not. I can't afford it. I've had my boobs done, my lips injected and that's all. Only once — not like Pam Anderson."

From the Archives: Sex Advice from . . . Turkey Farmers

Sarah — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 18:00:00 GMT

Thanksgiving is Thursday. Have you made your plans? Going to your boyfriend or girlfriend’s house? Take some advice from Turkey Farmers:

“Come equipped with a sleeping bag so you can pretend to sleep on the couch, basement futon, back porch.” – Ian, 25

“When you're sitting around the table, instead of blurting out what's on your mind — like what you'd really like to be doing to the other person right then — come up with a private code phrase you can whisper to each other. I'd suggest ‘Gobble, gobble.’” – Susan, 38

Want more? Read the all the advice here.

New on Nerve 11.15.2007: Sex Advice from...A Cuddle Party

Sarah — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 16:15:00 GMT

Regular people can give really good advice:

As someone who's protective of her solitude, how can I ease the transition to living with my significant other?
Find a spot or a time that's just yours. Maybe you could say, "My morning coffee will be jealous if I try to spend time with you while I'm drinking it." However, make sure you don't spend all your time alone. Have meals together. Brush your teeth together. Snuggle in the morning sun together. Pat him on your way to get coffee.

New on Nerve, 11.8.2007: Sex and Dating Advice from Internet Tech Support

Sarah — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:58:00 GMT

My favorite piece of advice, for the guy who can’t “reach his sexual peak”: “If communication doesn't work, have her give you a blowjob with her finger in your ass.”

New on Nerve, 11.1.07: Sex Advice From... Taggers

Sarah — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 14:38:00 GMT

Some helpful advice from taggers in today's SAF...:

I'm shy and prefer staying in. My boyfriend goes out with his friends almost every night. I miss him! How can we get past this?
You're just going to need to drink heavily once in a while and get over it.

I want to have a threesome. What do I need to know?
You're asking for drama. I know because when I was younger, I was pretty uninhibited. Think back to elementary school: You have two best friends, and one gets jealous when you're playing with the other one. People get jealous, people get hurt. You have to think twice before you do this.

Threesomes in elementary school?

New on Nerve 10.25.2007: “Your booty's good. But it's not that good, sweetie.”

Sarah — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 22:23:00 GMT

Hey there,

So much new stuff! I was out of town working at our Boston screening of Jimmy Carter Man from Plains, and look what I missed!

Two questions for Miss Info this week, first from a woman whose vibrator keeps coming out of her pussy, the second from a woman who is dumping a guy who never calls.

Best bit of advice: “You need to relax, Ejected. It sounds like your muscles are clenching up. Sometimes a lightweight piece of plastic is no match for an aperture capable of expelling nine-pound humans and ping-pong balls.”

More Advice, this time from movie extras:

I have a big crush on someone who works as a movie extra. How can I bag him?

Tell him, "I thought you were totally believable in that scene." He's desperate and ignored on-set. -- Michael, 37 (that's him in the pic above)

Get him some lines. Then ask for a blowjob. It's usually the other way around, but this is Hollywood 101. -- Arecee, 18

Just ask him, but when you do, substitute "extra" with "background artist." -- David, 33

Cats teach us to find a mate who will cater to our every need, and to piss on the carpet when they don't.

Sarah — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 15:41:00 GMT

Todays Sex Advice From... is particularly funny. Some of our favorite answers:

How can you tell if you're a cat person?
There are several stages before you become a full-blown cat lady. There's the obvious living alone in a studio apartment, having more than one cat and learning to knit. Then there are the less obvious feelings of increasingly unsubtle loneliness, whispering "I love you" to your cat while lying alone in bed and spending hours on Amazon.com looking for the perfect DustBuster. Unfortunately, not unlike syphilis, these stages often lay dormant until one day you wake up and you're a full-on cat lady.

Whenever my boyfriend and I have sex, his cat watches. It kind of freaks me out. Should I ban her from the room?
For cats, watching humans have sex is just like humans watching animals have sex on the Discovery Channel. It's nothing to be concerned about.

I own six cats. Is this something I should bring up before I bring a guy home?
Maybe you should just go back to his place.

New on Nerve, 10/11/2007: Fierce Females

Sarah — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 14:30:00 GMT

Today’s Sex Advice From… taps the psyches of female fighters. They give advice on exerting dominance from the bottom, what fighting gear plays well in the bedroom and what to do when your SO’s friends aren’t showing you the love you deserve.

New on Nerve, 9.27.07: "Baby, it's Dumpsville, population you."

Sarah — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 15:43:00 GMT

Our favorite piece of advice came from Matthew, 26, who gave a few phrases to avoid when breaking up with someone:

"It's not you, it's me."
"Baby, it's Dumpsville, population you."
"The force was not with us."
"There's not enough space in this universe, real or made-up, for both of us."

New on Nerve, 9.20.07: Incorporating the Wii into Sex

Sarah — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 16:38:00 GMT

Here's what Emily Farris, who wrote today's Sex Advice From... had to say about it:

"I'm glad the Sex Advice From Video Game Designers made it to press this week. It was so late, I thought my editor was about to cut my balls off...and I don't even have any. It wasn't late because one of the subjects was in Australia, but because one of the subjects had to get approval from his PR department before answering any of my questions. Not that it was his fault exactly, I was a little behind the ball. It turned out really well, though, and I have to say of all the SAF columns I've done for Nerve, I think this is the best. What's better than getting a bunch of video game geeks to talk about what they're probably thinking all day whilst trying to figure out how to get that joystick to maneuver juuuust right?" -- Emily Farris

SAF... the Jewish Holidays: "Jewish men are obligated to please their wives."

Sarah — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 15:16:00 GMT

Today’s Sex Advice From… is actually Sex Advice For…the Jewish Holidays. If you’ve been trolling JDate for hotties in the tribe, which apparently you have, this is the SAF for you.

Etan G, Jewish rapper

Etan G, the Jewish Rapper, reveals these secrets:
"Jews look at sex as something holy. Something special. We know how to appreciate it from a higher level, not just animalistic sex. I personally love sex. I love women. I think it's because I've seen the magic in the vagina." AND, "If I was dating a girl and the mother said to me, "How you gonna take care of my daughter?" I tell her I'm a Jewish rapper and I tour the world." What more do you need in a guy?

"I'm really tired of everyone shaving their bush off."

Sarah — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 18:39:00 GMT

New in Nerve Video: Sex Advice From... Hair Stylists

Q: How important is hair-care below the belt?

A: "What’s everyone concerned about the war for? I think we need to talk to them about letting their pubes grow back."

Welcome

Sarah — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 19:46:00 GMT

Welcome to the Nerve Insider blog. Here we’ll highlight our favorite Nerve pieces, feedback, blog posts and dole out behind the scenes news about the Nerve office and staff.

On Thursdays we publish “Sex Advice From…,” in which we poll members of the general public for tips about sex and relationships. In today’s installment internet TV stars opine on using condoms during a monogamous relationship and reveal that being an internet TV star does get you laid. Former intern Jessica Gold Haralson did today’s interviews and reports that some performers (not the ones in the piece) displayed surprisingly diva-ish attitudes for internet webcasters, referring her to their publicity agents instead of talking to her directly.

Also on Thursday: free lunch! On the first Thursday of every month Nerve pays for a pizza and soda. Today we sat on gray couches drinking Diet Pepsi and talking about how a certain editor’s old apartment smelled like dumplings. He didn’t get much sympathy.