The Modern Materialist : toys

I'm a Lumberjack/Werewolf, And That's Okay

Alex Zalben — Wed, 13 May 2009 14:32:00 GMT

It may be the fact that I'm still super sleepy, but I have nothing pithy to say about this, other than: finally. Finally, someone had the courage to come out and make a puppet that is a reversible lumberjack. And not only that, but reverses into a werewolf.

Cheers to you, sir or ma'am. Cheers.

[$30, Entertainment Earth]

[Via Nerd Approved]

Face The Tape

Alex Zalben — Fri, 08 May 2009 14:27:00 GMT

Well, this is fun. The boxes covered with faces above were made out of this:

Face tape! Honestly, I'm a little disappointed that I don't have any pictures of people using this on their own faces.

[150 SEK, Textalk]

[Via Swiss Miss]

This Toy Gets Everything Write

Alex Zalben — Tue, 05 May 2009 17:09:00 GMT

Jenna Kaminsky created this awesome, Mad Lib inspired toy for her final project at... I don't know, I gave up reading after the first page of her blog. But check out why it's so rad, below:

[Kaminxky]

[Via Swiss Miss]

Bring Mogwai Home

Shaun Seneviratne — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 15:32:00 GMT

Want one of these that doesn't turn into this?

Well, now you can have one without having to worry about keeping food out after midnight:

[$23, Think Geek]

I should get this Singing Gizmo Plush Toy and put it next to my Pee-Wee Herman talking doll and Stay Puft Marshmallow Man plush and create a real shrine to the 80s, no?

Here's the little cutie in all it's mildly annoying, singing glory:

Also, here is an awesome Mogwai (post rock, not gremlins) print from Daniel Danger.

[Via Boing Boing and OMG Posters!]

Related: Gremlins In Your Salad

Puzzling in More Ways Than One

Steph Auteri — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 14:19:00 GMT

[$316, Stave Puzzles]

Stave Puzzles specializes in two types of puzzles: teasers and tricks. Teasers have extra-challenging design features, such as confusing colors, repeating shapes, and empty spaces in which nothing fits. In tricks, some pieces will fit into two different places, leading you to (mistakenly) believe you're on the right track.

Think you're up to the challenge?

[$225, Stave Puzzles]

[$396, Stave Puzzles]

[$316, Stave Puzzles]

[Via Wired magazine]

Best Silly Putty Ever

Alex Zalben — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 19:09:00 GMT

This is easily the best Silly Putty ever, and that's hard to do, because Silly Putty is the best toy ever:

It's temperature sensitive color changing silly putty! Awesome!

[$3, Office Playground]

[Via Mighty Goods]

Do Hard Time with Two to Four Friends

Laureen Mahler — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 14:36:00 GMT

[$35, Gill!us]

Does Monopoly leave you feeling monotonous? Candyland not so sweet anymore? It might be time to spice up your board game selection, and what better way to do that than invest in Don't Drop the Soap: The Prison Board Game.

Don't Drop the Soap basically uses the Monopoly structure, except that your goal is to make it to your parole hearing on time. Obstacles along the way include stopping prison riots in the yard, stealing meds from the infirmary, and yes, avoiding unexpected surprises in the shower room. Monopoly's old shoe and tin can? Replaced by a gat and a bag of coke.

You know what would have been a better title? Shanks and Ladders.

[via Nerd Approved]

Plastic Boys Don't Cry

Laureen Mahler — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:05:00 GMT

I never did trust a Ken doll. Just look at his silent smirk, those cold eyes, that perfectly coiffed hair. And we all know how weird things get below the belt. But how did Ken become this creepy, American-Psycho-esque creature? Apparently, he had a seriously intense emo period:

[$297, Colette]

Presenting the emo/goth/vinyl-clad Ken doll, from London fashion designer Gareth Pugh. This explains a lot. A whole lot.

[via Nerd Approved]

I Propose a Toast

Laureen Mahler — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 13:32:00 GMT

As we all know, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Check out Mr. Toast up there; he probably had a healthy serving of, um, himself before he headed out the door to face the day.

But when you can't get a complete breakfast (or if you're like me and consider the three food groups to be toast, bacon, and eggs), then you definitey need this plush tribute to all things breakfast:

Mr. Toast, aka the Toastmaster General.

Mr. Bacon, who I can only imagine looks puzzled because he can't figure out what makes him taste so good.

And Mr. Egg, who is thrilled he's about to be eaten.(It's a fact that eggs aren't the sharpest creatures.)

[$6 each, Mr. Toast]

While I am normally completely freaked out by anthropomorphic food, I'm willing to make an exception for these guys. Thanks to Diana for the tip!

Nerd Gift Of The Day: Every Star Wars Figure, Ever

Alex Zalben — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 19:54:00 GMT

This post is dedicated to the memory of Shaun Seneviratne, who probably just died of happiness. If you've ever wanted to own every single Star Wars figure from the original three movies (a.k.a., the only real movies), now's your chance.

The best part is, though it's not cheap, it's way cheaper than I might have guessed:

[$3500, Brians Toys]

[Via Uncrate]

A Bright Idea For Your Old Toys

Alex Zalben — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 19:27:00 GMT

What to do with all your childhood toys? Donate them to a worthy cause? Throw them out? Or maybe you should just jam them all together, cover them in gold, and make a lamp out of them? Yeah, that's the ticket:

Each piece is made to order with recycled toys. No price marked, but with the six week lead time, it's not going to be cheap.

[Ryan McElhinney]

[Via Kostas Voyatzis]

Literally, a Flying F*ck

Laureen Mahler — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 20:37:00 GMT

[£25, Thumbs Up UK]

Okay, I admit, maybe I am being a little too literal today. But this is too good to pass up. Somebody went and took something way too literally, and now we're left with this.

The Flying F*ck remote-controlled helicopter: it flies, it says f*ck, and it will probably get you into trouble if you bring it to work.

[via OhGizmo!]

These Toys Kill Me

Steph Auteri — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 15:19:00 GMT

I'm 28, but have the toy-related enthusiasm of a 12-year-old. Some things you can find lying around my condo:

stuffed animals
tiny action figures
kaleidoscopes
hula hoops
a fiber optic wand with a dinosaur head
my giant frisbee
an assortment of games

Can I pretty please get these too?

[$5, October Toys]

These 2-inch-tall zombies come in glow in the dark!

[Via The Awesomer]

Poop!

Alex Zalben — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:01:00 GMT

[$22, Seibi]

Ah, poop jokes. Definitely not the height of comedy, and quite possibly the depth. Yet, the mere act of mentioning poop, as seen on the shirt above, is nowhere near as gross as this:

I can't find whether this is an actual product, though I'm kind of guessing/hoping not.

[Via Book of Joe]

Hey Kids: You're Terminated!

Alex Zalben — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 17:05:00 GMT

Hey kids! Rip off your skin, and reveal the robotic parts beneath:

...Or at least, that's what the makers of these Terminator Salvation Roleplay Exoskeleton Patches seem to be saying. Worst kid's toy ever.

[$15, Movie Gear]

[Via Fashionably Geek]

Equation: Anarchy in the S.O.C.K.

Laureen Mahler — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 18:09:00 GMT

[$30 each, Elsewares]

Just when you thought that the sock monkey had nothing else to offer, Sid and Nancy sock monkeys come along. Yep, destroying hotel rooms and shooting heroin have never been so gosh-darned cute.

And as if that weren't enough, check out this Mr. T sock monkey. Stuff that in your monkey, fool.

Super Soakers 20th Anniversary

Shaun Seneviratne — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 19:31:00 GMT

I was four years old when the Super Soaker 50 came out. That was 19.8 years ago.

Two things that confirm that you are getting old:

Shows we used to watch on network TV are on Nick at Nite
Things from our childhood are getting reissued

As Gizmodo reported, Hasbro unveiled the 20th Anniversary Super Soaker 50 at this years NYC Toy Fair:

Time to eat some fruit snacks, watch "Full House", and shoot this Super Soaker as I babble incoherently in parachute pants.

I must say, I do like the fact that it doesn't have a removeable bottle; It was a little too big to fill in some sinks.

Hopefully this throwback to the original will inspire some more reissues. . . Hasbro's new Super Soakers are pretty gross:

[Via Gizmodo]

Luke Skywalker Was a Bigot

Shaun Seneviratne — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:32:00 GMT

The real reasons Luke Skywalker destroyed the death star: homophobia and penis envy. Seriously. Just look at the package on that thing!

The Gay Empire Homotrooper (I swear this is what it's called) is available through the Museum of Contemporary Art.

[$30, Museum of Contemporary Art Store]

[Via Nerd Approved]

Related: Luke, I Am Your Toaster

Blackberry for Babies

Laureen Mahler — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 13:47:00 GMT

[Photo via]

Blackberries are certainly getting kid-friendly these days. In fact, with laptops and mp3 players designed just for kids becoming status quo, it seems that even toddlers might be texting soon. Oh wait, they already are:

[via Crave]

Leapfrog's version of the Blackberry for babies comes out in April and will cost about $25. What's next, in-utero instant messaging?

OMG: You Should, Like, Totally Beam Me Up

Laureen Mahler — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 19:07:00 GMT

Call me a Stereotyping Sally, but I generally associate Barbie lovers with valley girl types who would rather file their nails than use more than seventeen brain cells. In that same vein, I tend to imagine Star Trek fans as 40-somethings who live in their parents' basements and masturbate to Tomb Raider cutscenes. (I know, I know: generalizing is terrible. But please, I ask you to prove me wrong.)

So naturally, I'm a little skeptical when a product introduces Barbie to Star Trek:

[$151, Entertainment Earth]

But there it is. Could this be the beginning of a beautiful friendship?

No. No it's not. Just saying.

[via Gizmodo]

Nice Pussy

Alex Zalben — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 16:34:00 GMT

I know you're going to find this totally shocking but that's not a real cat in the picture. Here's the deal, yo:

The Sega Dream Cat Venus (no, I'm not making that up) purrs, moves its legs when you rub its belly, and sleeps. Also, it ignores you most of the time, and occasionally walks on your keyboard.

[Via Cnet]

Airport Security Just Got a Whole Lot Easier

Laureen Mahler — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 16:04:00 GMT

[Photo via]

This is no new gripe, but holy shoe removal I hate airport security. It's not so much the concept of TSA scrutinizing my most personal belongings for the better safety good, but why in the world does the process have to be so slow and chaotic? However, this little device will make those security checkpoints a breeze:

[$55, Amazon]

Yes, Playmobil has officially made the world of airport security fun for all ages. Just one glance at the dizzying grins on those TSA agents' faces, and how can you not want to go to the airport? You know, just to hang out.

Really, Playmobil? Are you out of new ideas? Or did TSA pay off whoever's in charge?

Trend Watch: Monkey Decor is a Barrel of Laughs

Steph Auteri — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 21:24:00 GMT

Is it weird that I still own (and love) that Barrel of Monkeys game? Is it a sign that I haven't matured in the past 23 years or so?

Give a nod to your more youthful side with these items inspired by the game:

[$16, giggle]

[$14, Broadway Paper]

[$6.99, Perpetual Kid]

[$99, Supermarket]

[$35, Etsy]

Transform, and Mickey Mouse

Alex Zalben — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 14:34:00 GMT

This reminds me of the time I was on the Disney Lot in LA. I saw a worker taking out these really nice porcelain figures of Disney characters dressed as Star Wars characters. Really cool, unique stuff, clearly used for a presentation or display. And then, he put them down on the ground, and smashed the crap out of them with a hammer. True story.

Anyway:

This Mickey Transformer will be on sale next month in Japan, for about $38.57. Chances are, it'll hit US stores this Summer, in time for the Transformers sequel.

[Via SlashFilm]

Use The Force (In Real Life)

Alex Zalben — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 18:02:00 GMT

A new toy, coming out this Fall, lets you use the Force. No, I'm not kidding. Well, I'm kind of kidding:

The toy runs on the new brain-sensing technology, which (spoiler) isn't really brain sensing so much as microscopic head movement sensing. Regardless, it'll act as if you're making a ball rise and fall in a tube with the POWER OF YOUR MIND!!! Pretty cool.

[$90-$100, via USA Today]

Obama Hope Action Figure

Shaun Seneviratne — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 15:38:00 GMT

Show your love at the inauguration with this Barack Obama action figure inspired by the "Hope" campaign.

Here's Hope Obama hanging with Inaugural Obama:

Each edition is limited to 3000 action figures and comes uniquely numbered.

To be notified of when these go on sale (Jan. 12 btw), click here.

Here is Obama in his original costume:

[$15, Jailbreak Toys]

And for you DIY-ers out there, here's a blank slate:

[$10, Jailbreak Toys]

[Via OMG Posters!]

Live Dream: Like Rock Band, But Pointless!

Shaun Seneviratne — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 15:32:00 GMT

I have no idea what went through the heads of the workers at Sega Toys. The Sega Live Dream is just a set with miniature instruments. Each instrument starts playing once you add it. If you wanna spice things up, take away an instrument and hear what the song would sound like without it! )Just look at how much fun that girl in the picture is having!) And that's pretty much all you can do with this thing.

So. Dumb.

Not to mention that the songs themselves sound like the pre-loaded demos you'd hear on low-end Yamaha and Casio keyboards.

Here is Sega's demo video:

I imagine this costs as much as it does because of song liscensing, otherwise this would be no more than $10.

[$314, Japan Trend Shop]

[Via DVICE]

Zip-a-dee-Do-It In Your Backyard

Steph Auteri — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 17:31:00 GMT

The risks are high. But those very same risks are what make it so exciting. Have you ever done it in your backyard?

[$149.99, Back To Basic Toys]

To tell you the truth, I was always too chicken to try the zip line myself.

[Via misosouper]

Cute or Not: Stingrays

Alex Zalben — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 17:01:00 GMT

Younger me totally went swimming with manta rays (and yes, that's a picture of me above; when I was a young boy, I was an adult woman). Older me would never swim with manta rays in a million years. But that's not the question... The question is, stingrays, cute or not?

[$12, Inhabitat]

Inaction Figures

Alex Zalben — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Last night, while performing at Comedy Central's weekly shindig at Crash Mansion, I had the pleasure of watching the above sketch, which reminded me of the figures below:

These "action figures" are part of a project called "ToyGiants," by German duo Daniel and Geo Fuchs. The exhibition shows the blurry line between entertainment and politics, and is playing at the Young Gallery in Brussels until Feburary 4th. So good luck checking them out.

[Via DesignBoom]