The Modern Materialist : seasonal

Just About Time for May Flowers

Steph Auteri — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 16:29:00 GMT

[Photo via]

I have such the knack for killing any plant gifted to me within the space of a month. And it usually takes less time than that.

It probably has something to do with my three, plant-hungry kitty cats, or the bad plant karma created by my allergies to most things in nature. Mostly, though, it's probably because I totally forget to water things.

[$25, Etsy]

If I had this eye-catching mosaic watering can, I'd probably never forget.

Related: Cheap Trick: Watering Can

Blissful Images Tide Us Over Till Spring

Steph Auteri — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 15:38:00 GMT

[$30, blissful images too]

The other weekend, I was moved to throw around a frisbee for 10 minutes, until I started hyperventilating due to my completely sedentary lifestyle.

This past weekend, I was back to wearing a coat and hat. Sad.

Hang on to hope with these blissful images from blissful images too:

[$30, blissful images too]

[Via Modish]

Related: City of Love(ly Photography)

Whistle If You're Ready for Spring!

Steph Auteri — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 21:35:00 GMT

Yeah. I'm ready too.

Especially since I'm sitting at my computer right now wishing I was wearing gloves!

Fred Flare is ready for spring, too:

[$20, Fred Flare]

I am so in love with this whistling bird bud vase, modeled after the classic bird whistle. Adorable.

Spring Resource: Pier 1 imports

Steph Auteri — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 21:01:00 GMT

[$5-$6, Pier 1 imports]

I think it's sad that Pier 1 doesn't show their full inventory online...

...because now I can't show you their other pretty, spring-inspired dinnerware.

Would you settle for some scanned-in images from my catalog?

Baby Bottoms Have Nothing On This

Laureen Mahler — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 18:38:00 GMT

Why are these people so happy? Well, aside from being buck naked (and who doesn't love that?), they are wrapped in the world's first blanket made to feel like the inside of a vagina.

No joke. The people at Cordarounds have perfected that inner-vagina feeling with bonafied scientific research:

[$65, Cordarounds]

So what do you think: marketing snafu or PR genius? Either way, I sort of want to try one.

Valentine's Day Resource: Candy Store Collective

Steph Auteri — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 15:19:00 GMT

[$16, Candy Store Collective]

Okay. I'll give my man this card if he gets me one of these necklaces:

[$80, Candy Store Collective]

[$148, Candy Store Collective]

Does that seem fair?

Oh, p.s. These silhouette necklaces are actually custom made from whatever digital image you send in, and then engraved with the name of the subject. How sweet is that!?

[Via paper n stitch]

Valentine's Day Tip: Spend Nothing at Kate Spade

Steph Auteri — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 20:19:00 GMT

This is the best Valentine's Day e-card ever in the world, mostly because I'm obsessed with candy buttons. If you sent this to me, I would luv u forever, too.

If this one's not quite your bag, there are more free e-cards where this came from! Kate Spade just launched a selection that she commissioned a varietyof artists to do up for her. You can browse them all here.

My other favorites, after the jump:

[Via Creature Comforts]

Valentine's Day Tip: What He Really Wants From You

Steph Auteri — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 20:37:00 GMT

No. Not your lingerie-clad body, his for the taking.

(Though, um, maybe later...)

[$25, New York Burger Company]

The New York Burger Company is offering Burger Bouquets deliverable both February 13 and 14 between 11 a.m. and 8 p.m. The bouquet includes three specialty mini-burgers (Chicago Burger, Dallas Burger & Seattle Burger), three signature dipping sauces, homemade potato chips, and brownie, and a personalized, hand-written Valentine note. Find out whether or not they can deliver to you.

Top 5 Things My Husband Must Compete Against for My Love

Steph Auteri — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 18:29:00 GMT

[$16, Supermarket]

my three cats
coffee
the latest book I happen to be reading
hot, 30-minute showers
sleep

With all of the competition, perhaps one of these cards would make him feel better:

[$2.50, Supermarket]

Valentine's Day Tip: Love Is Brewing

Steph Auteri — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 17:40:00 GMT

Want to show your sweetie that you care? Bring them a freshly brewed cup of coffee with one of these adorable Valentine's Day tea bags.

Come on, you guys! It's free!

Creature Comforts has created free printables, which you'll find here. The tutorial can be found here.

Valentine's Day Tip: Bring Him Sweet Dreams

Steph Auteri — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 15:34:00 GMT

[Photo via]

Bring him sweet dreams by whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

Or let the pillow do the dirty work for you.

[$32, Etsy]

You can personalize a postcard pillow over at Olive's Etsy shop.

Valentine's Day Resource: MadeByGirl

Steph Auteri — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 21:39:00 GMT

[$2.95, MadeByGirl]

I generally love everything MadeByGirl, but the Valentine's Day/Love cards are especially sweet.

Check out a few of my favorites after the jump.

[$2.95, MadeByGirl]

Valentine's Day Tip: All the Languages of Love

Steph Auteri — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 17:25:00 GMT

It's early afternoon on February 5, and already I'm eating Sweethearts (apparently, just Nutella isn't enough).

I find these Sweethearts to be particularly dulce:

[$2, Fred Flare]

Bilingual Sweethearts! Get one box in English, and one in Spanish.

Valentine's Day Tip: Retro Cards From Fred Flare

Steph Auteri — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 17:58:00 GMT

Remember Valentine's Day in elementary school, where you wrote out cards for everybody and put them in a big box, and then the teacher handed them out later in the day?

And then, if you only got two cards, you felt like a huge loser?

Relive those days with these retro-style V-Day cards:

[$8, Fred Flare]

Valentine's Day Tip: Their Love Was Bittersweet...

Steph Auteri — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 20:24:00 GMT

While Valentine's Day itself has always left me wary and primed for disappointment — single or not — I've always loved Sweethearts. I can go through an entire bag of them myself in just two days and, if I'm feeling romantic or cute, can leave them strategically on pillows or computer keyboards to express my love. Once, I even mailed one to a guy I had crushed on since junior high; it said "call me." We ended up dating for three weeks.

The messages I'd prefer to leave nowadays have shifted in their intent.

[$9.95-$19.95, Despair, Inc.]

BitterSweets come in three different collections...Dysfunctional, Dumped, and Dejected. Enjoy!

Week In Review: January 9

Steph Auteri — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 22:45:00 GMT

It's our first full week back at work since the holidays, and man are we dragging. Still, we are advocates of change in this new year and, for at least the next week or so, we will stick to the following resolutions:

we will become as slim as the French.
we will do this by adding fiber to our diet,
foregoing fast food in favor of fresh produce,
cooking our own meals,
and finding new uses for our chocolate bars.
we will love our bodies more.
we will practice safe sex.
we will replace alcohol with fresh water and tea
and use cigarettes as accessories only.
we will live a green lifestyle.
and, somehow, we won't forget any of this.

Happy New Years from the Modern Materialistas!

Steph Auteri — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 22:57:00 GMT

Alex, Diana, Shaun, and I would like to thank you for sticking with us through our nascent year of rampant materialism. We hope you'll still be here, waiting for us, in the new year.

We'll all be sleeping off lingering hangovers tomorrow, but we'll be back on Friday. See you then!

Happy New Years!

Happy Hour: Taste Testing Your Champagne

Steph Auteri — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 21:56:00 GMT

I'm not a huge fan of Champagne, except when it's mixed with other things, as in Bellinis and Mimosas. Still, it's that time of year, and I feel obligated to toss back a glass at the stroke of midnight.

The perfect glass for taste testing before I chug?

[$36, 2Jane]

Yup. These test tube-style champagne glasses will do.

New Years Resolution: Save Up for the Important Stuff

Steph Auteri — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 20:20:00 GMT

[$47.99, Modern Artisans]

This is my piggy bank. I use it to save up for...laundry. But what about the big things? A house...that certification program I wanted to sign up for...everything on Etsy...

Looks like I need more piggy banks...

[$35, Velocity]

New Years Resolution: Move My Fat Ass

Steph Auteri — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 19:28:00 GMT

Back when it was still warm, I was hula hooping and taking evening walks. Now, I'm a complete recluse, and can't fit into any of my pants. Hence, the resolution I make every damn year, and never keep.

Seriously, though. Once the weather warms again, I can get back to this:

[$46, Sports Hoop]

This weighted sports hoop is supposed to make the inches melt away.

...

I'm still waiting...

Related: Have Hula Hoop, Will Travel

The Best of the Best: 2008 + Contest

Steph Auteri — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 15:55:00 GMT

Okay guys. I assume your attention span is quite short today, what with the boozing and puking scheduled to occur tonight, but if I may have a moment...

In February of 2008, Modern Materialist was born, and It was Good.

So good, in fact, that I have all these trophies to give out.

You see, after the jump, I have the best of the best of MM in 2008 (based largely upon what you seemed to love most).

::applause::

Tomorrow, we'll all be sleeping in, and in the new year, we'll be introducing you to a completely new Modern Materialista....but in the meantime, let's all pat ourselves on the back, and remember the (completely materialistic) year that was:

We became obsessed with — and successively sick of — the trend that was wall decals.

We were both horrified by and fascinated with this door knocker. (Thanks for the visuals, Alex...)

I humiliated myself for the public good by attending happy hour in a resume T-shirt.

Wendy made us consider the benefits of polygamy...or at least question her judgment...

We realized that we could solve all of our problems for under $5.

We covered all of the seven deadly sins...in one booze-soaked evening.

It's tough to tell from this pic, but apparently, women are now wearing their uteri outside of their skin.

Alex found us the coolest movie vehicles of all time...and where to buy them!

I realized you guys were effing morbid.

And finally, Shaun makes us all vomit in our mouths a little with this semen-based cookbook. So glad I hired you, Shaun.

...

Am I missing anything here? Leave your own favorite posts in the comments, with the reasons you loved them so much.The one who makes me feel the warmest and fuzziest wins their own copy of the semen cookbook.

New Years Resolution: (At Least Attempt To) Make More Money

Steph Auteri — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 15:32:00 GMT

With the magazine industry crashing around me, I stubbornly refuse to give up on my writerly dreams. Which is why my first resolution for the new year is to start pitching articles again, rather than letting all of my time be malevolently swallowed up by blogging. Which means I need to start collecting magazine back issues again. Which means I need a better filing system.

After the jump, the best magazine filing systems, whether or not you're a doomed writer:

[$27, See Jane Work]

[$18, See Jane Work]

[$17.50, See Jane Work]

[$21.95, Crate & Barrel]

Too Late For Advent Calendars?

Steph Auteri — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 14:24:00 GMT

[Smurf Advent Calendar]

Is it too late for Advent calendars? Aside from tonight's countdown, I can think of at least one other day people around the country are waiting for with bated breath.

[$18, Obama Advent Calendar]

Christmas — and Advent, for that matter — are long gone, but the calendar above is still relevant. Count down the days until Obama is in office, unveiling such characters as John Edwards, the red-faced reindeer; Jesse Jackson, the nutcracker; and Bill Ayers, Frosty the Weatherman along the way.

Best/Worst Gifts This Year: Open Thread

Steph Auteri — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 15:03:00 GMT

Ever since the weather turned cold, I've been freezing my ass off in my home office, wishing I had a pair of slippers.

Now I have three.

Pictured above are my new Monty Python killer rabbit slippers (paired with my fuzzy Superman pajama pants). As you can see, they are awesomely ferocious.

I also received those boot slippers from Old Navy, which happen to be lined inside. When I slip my feet into them, it feels as if my tootsies are encased in clouds.

I also received some Isotoner slippers, and multiple pairs of slipper socks. The item I'm not so sure I'll be able to use? The tiny bottle of tequila that came in my stocking.

Leave your comments on the best and worst gifts received this year.

Recap: Gift Guides for Word Nerds

Steph Auteri — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 21:34:00 GMT

You knew it was coming...Here's a quick recap of all the word nerd gift guides that went up over the past month:

Stocking Stuffers for Word Nerds
Gifts Under $25 for Word Nerds
Last-Minute Gifts for Word Nerds
Oh! And we can't forget the official word nerd T-shirt.

Recap: Gift Guides for the Burgeoning Scientists

Steph Auteri — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 19:24:00 GMT

Time is ticking away. Just to refresh your memory, here are all the gift guides we did up over the past month in order to aid you in shopping for the burgeoning scientist in your life:

Happy hunting!

Wish List: The MM Items You Should Buy Me This Year

Steph Auteri — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 17:19:00 GMT

I suppose it's a bit late for wish lists but, as a means of looking back over some of my favorite products featured here on the Modern Materialist over the past year, I present to you the items I hope to find underneath the tree tomorrow morning:

This T-shirt seems especially timely as of late.
I am such a sucker for expensive, unusual, unusually dorky jewelry.
And I could also use these bookends on my bookcase bed frame. What can I say? I am a word nerd.
I've finally decided upon this particular pic for my living room wall.
We had so much trouble making the spritzes last night, what with the old, decrepit cookie press we were using. Please pass the torch! Er...this updated cookie press, that is.
I just can't stop talking (and daydreaming) about these slippers. Or these, for that matter.
And obviously, I've beenhung up on the cold lately, because I wouldn't mind receiving this hat, either.
I still have a thing for kaleidoscopes.
And bubbles.
How many camera bags could one possibly want?
Do you think I could pull off this bag?
I'd wear these every day. Or every other day (to account for cleaning).
The winners of this headphone smackdown totally won my heart.
Okay. So the chandelier might not fit under the tree.
Why yes. I would love a replacement for my boombox.
Is there a sweeter scent than the scent of a paperback book? I think not.
I just think that this would be incredibly romantic and thoughtful.
While this would be incredibly expensive.

God, I'm greedy.

I'll report back on the items I receive.

Recap: Gift Guides for History Buffs

Steph Auteri — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 15:19:00 GMT

I can't quite believe it, but apparently, some people have waited until today to do their holiday shopping (you people are insane, btw).

Just for reference purposes, here are the two gift guides we did up for history buffs:

Recap: Gift Guides From Wendy

Steph Auteri — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 14:19:00 GMT

We'll be doing gift guide recaps all day long today, as we enter into the eleventh hour for shoppers everywhere. In order not to forget the impeccable sense of taste and style Wendy brought to her own gift guides, here they all are, in one convenient, bulleted list:

Holiday Tip: Tell Someone Just How (Blank) They Are

Steph Auteri — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 19:00:00 GMT

[Photo via]

Finding it difficult to tell someone how you feel? There's no better time than the holidays to express your love to the ones in your life. Need some help? I have a tip for you after the jump and, amazingly, it's freeee!!!

[Creature Comforts]

Creature Comforts has a ton of free downloadable and printable goodies, but I'm especially smitten with this customizable card, on which you can write in the adjective of your choice. On the back of the card are some adjectives — A to Z — to get you started. Here's what the finished product looks like:

Pretty!

[Via misosouper]