The Modern Materialist : holiday

The 25 Mother's Day Gifts You Should Buy Immediately (5-1)

Steph Auteri — Fri, 08 May 2009 17:08:00 GMT

Ah...my mother.

First forced to give birth to me, and then expected to deal with my temper tantrums, my antisocial tendencies, my premarital sex, my decision to drop out of college, my later decision to write about sex for a living, my shopping problem and attendant crippling debt, and more.

And it's only been 28 years. Who knows what other shenanigans I can get up to in the coming years?

You better believe I'm not forgetting Mother's Day.

Time is running out, and this is our last installment of our monster Mother's Day gift list. After the jump, consider some final gift ideas and, for the love of god, get on it!

[choose your amount, Bed and Breakfast.com]

5. Bed and Breakfast Gift Card

Chances are, your parents haven't been on vacation in a reaallly long time, since they've been busy paying for your college education and stuff and, years later, they still haven't financially recovered. A couple years ago, I gifted my parents a bed and breakfast gift card, redeemable at nearly 4,000 B&Bs in the U.S. and Canada, and my mom still can't stop talking about it. I even researched a few B&Bs that were near enough for a weekend trip, with surrounding attractions, and put together a little packet for them, for inspiration. Yes, you can be as awesome a child as I am.

[$260, Swarovski]

4. Something Sparkly

Have you ever seen that commercial where a man gifts his wife with a vacuum cleaner and is sent to a subterranean purgatory until he learns his lesson? Women don't want things they need...things that relegate them to their allegedly rightful place in the kitchen or the laundry room or what-have-you. They will smile but secretly hate you for these types of gifts. What moms really want is to feel glamorous again. And what better way to provide her with that than with a bit of bling? My personal favorite pieces come from Swarovski. My mom has also loved every single piece I've ever gotten her from Whippoorwill Crafts. But you should know your mom's taste best. (Assuming you've been paying attention, you ungrateful brat.)

[LocalHarvest]

3. A Year's Worth of Groceries

Not to be completely hypocritical with what I just said above, but some moms do enjoy cooking. Which is why I think it's a good idea to consider giving your dear old mom a year's worth of groceries, with a membership at her local CSA (community-supported agriculture). Here's the lowdown: A farmer sells a certain amount of "shares" in the...um...fruits of his labors. Buy purchasing a share in that year's output, you're guaranteed to receive a certain amount of seasonal produce each week throughout the farming season. And you know that shit is way better than the crap your mom's finding in the produce section of your local ShopRite. You can search for your local CSA here.

[$820, Neiman Marcus]

2. Somewhere to Put Her Feet

Okay. Bear with me here. Not every ottoman out there is $820, but this is the one that I would want to be gifted by my fabulously wealthy daughter who does not yet exist. You could probably find something cheaper. I'm just sayin'. Sometimes, your mom just wants to put her feet up and pretend you don't exist. You cause her a lot of stress. Seriously. Or at least I did. Every holiday, when I ask my parents what they want, they tell me: "Peace and quiet." Maybe you should throw in a sleep mask as well.

1. A Grandchild

I've just spent an embarrassing amount of time watching videos like the one above and sobbing. In every video, the mother reacts in pretty much the same way: look of confusion...screaming...sobbing. The mere act of watching these videos is making me ovulate. I suggest getting yourself (or someone else) preggers and then presenting your mom with one of these. Don't forget your video camera!

As a reminder, here are the other posts in our Monster List of Mother's Day gifts:

The 25 Mother's Day Gifts You Should Buy Immediately (10-6)

Diana Vilibert — Thu, 07 May 2009 16:15:00 GMT

My mom is camera-shy and rightfully so, after dressing me like this for years. I can forgive the acid-wash denim, but Hawaiian-print shorts? I think the expression on my face says it all.

Despite the fact that she clearly dressed me to get a good laugh from strangers, and I should probably give her a package of family counseling sessions for Mother's Day, there are lots of other gifts she'd probably love so much more. So without further ado, the fourth installment of The 25 Mother's Day Gifts You Should Buy Immediately:

[Edited to add: I've been informed that I picked out my own clothes, and though I can neither confirm nor deny this, the blame for the shorts is allegedly my burden, not Mom's.]

[$24.95, Personalization Mall]

10) Picture Perfect Photo Personalized Coaster Set
This is one of those gifts where you'll have to swallow your pride a bit and understand that your mother's happiness when she receives and uses them will outweigh your humiliation every time you're home and are reminded that you have family photo coasters in the house. These personalized coasters are a neurotic neat-freak mother's dream--and just think of how much easier it'll be for her to brag to her friends about what a beautiful child they've raised when your smiling mug is right there! This set of coasters is missing something though...so don't forget to include a tasty alcoholic beverage to place on top of them. Like this:

[$40, Gourmet Gift Baskets]

9) Bloody Mary Gift Basket Stack
You've probably driven her to drink more than once, so save her the trip to the liquor store and get her a Blood Mary gift basket. This is probably enough to get her through the weekend, with a tasty Bloody Mary mix, a rimmer (that would be for the rim of your glass, FYI), "crispy dilly beans" and asparagus. Mom will appreciate the excuse to drink before noon, and it's so much classier than handing her a bottle of vodka (which actually happens to be totally acceptable in my family, but I'm assuming this isn't the norm.)

[€35,00, Tintamar]

8) Tintamar Purse Organizer
It's the gift that every woman needs approximately two hours after getting a new purse. No matter how many pockets and compartments Mom's purse has, it will never be enough. Within hours, there's smeared lipstick in the datebook, coins and pills floating around noisily, keys getting sucked into a dark purse abyss, and other purse-related shenanigans. Save her the trouble and get her something nifty like this--with anywhere from 9-12 pockets for makeup, glasses, books, cell phones and iPods, and more, Mom will have it totally together.

[$44, The Laundress]

7) The Laundress Starter Kit
OK, this one is iffy--chore-related gifts don't always go over too well, so I would proceed with caution, unless like my mom, your mother would be over the moon to get a present that makes laundry time somehow better. And this does just that. The Starter Kit from The Laundress comes with six best-selling formulas to make doing laundry feel very chic--Whites Detergent, Darks Detergent, Delicate Wash, Wool & Cashmere Shampoo, Stain Solution and Classic Fabric Fresh. They come in a black and white zippered pouch along with a Laundress Recipe Card, and according to the site, are "the perfect introduction to good, clean fun"...not that Mom really needs an "introduction" after doing your laundry for 27 years.

[$3.50, SupermarketHQ]

6) Thanks, Mom! Card
If you know anything about women or mothers, you already know that if you forget the card, you're pretty much dead to her, so make sure you pick something up, unless you want to break your mother's heart and hear about it for the rest of your life until you screw up in a new way. I love this one--inside, the card reads "Thanks for raising me."

Be sure to check out the Mother's Day gift lists from Shaun, Alex, and Laureen, and tune in tomorrow for Steph's!

Mother's Day Tip: The Perfect Shirt for Moms-to-Be

Steph Auteri — Thu, 07 May 2009 14:04:00 GMT

[$30.95, CafePress]

No, not this one (though it is adorable, and I'd totally wear it if I was preggers).

[$22.99, ThinkGeek]

This one.

[Via Crave]

The 25 Mother's Day Gifts You Should Buy Immediately (15-11)

Laureen Mahler — Wed, 06 May 2009 16:58:00 GMT

Check me out up there: adorable little me, brought into this world by one of the best women I know. And while this isn't a picture of me and my mom, it does have a mom story: it was taken for Mother's Day 1987, and it came on a card that said, "This little cowgirl loves her mama." I think that was also the year I gave my mom a clay pencil holder that very closely resembled a piece of poop. I've been trying to make amends ever since.

And since we're all a little too old to dress up in chaps with a pony (not to mention give crappy homemade gifts), I present to you the third installment of our 25 Mother's Day Gifts You Should Buy Immediately. Seriously, guys, time's a-wastin'!

[$13, Chronicle Books]

15. Porn for Women of a Certain Age

While erotic photos aren't for every mom out there, this collection of distinguished men doing (well, let's face it) sort of boring things might just be a mom's dream come true. Steamy scenarios include men sniffing flowers, pouring champagne, and vacuuming the house, and the sexy fun definitely doesn't stop there. Published by the Cambridge Women's Pornography Cooperative, Porn for Women of Certain Age brings together a total of 40 sexy yet distinguished men doing and saying the things mom loves most, from insisting she take early retirement to offering to clean the house. And don't worry: these hunks are all fully clothed.

[$99, Williams-Sonoma]

14. Three Months of Croissants

After everything your mom's done for you, what better way to give something back than by making her mornings easy and delicious? Sign her up for Williams-Sonoma's Three Months of Croissants, and she'll receive a shipment of chef Jean-Yves Charon’s buttery blossoms of delight once a month for three months. The first shipment includes 12 plain croissants, followed by 12 filled with premium Callebaut chocolate, then 18 mini versions. Croissants should sit overnight, then by the morning they'll be ready to pop in the oven and savor.

*Note: while it's too late to have the first shipment of these croissants arrive in time for Mother's Day, you can still sign mom up and send a card telling her about the tastiness to come!

[$38, A+R]

13. One Year of White Pages

It's no secret that your mom has spent an enormous amount of time on you; now you can help her make the most of her time. These gorgeous moleskein-esque notebooks were designed by Alessandro Esteri and are small enough to fit into a purse or pocket. The set comes with one journal for each month of the year, with each marked by tiny holes corresponding to the number of the month. In total, there is a page for every day of the year. The notebooks are filled with blank pages to allow mom ultimate creative license, and when the year is up, they slip into a matching box for safekeeping.

[$30, SkyMall and $40, Sur la Table]

12. Giant Cupcake Pan + Cupcake Apron

I don't know about you guys, but my mom is the best chef I know. Be it spaghetti or apple pie, she's a whiz in the kitchen, and she loves every moment of it. Bring some delight to your mom's love for all things culinary with this giant cupcake pan and adorable matching apron. The pan is two-section cast aluminum, with a nonstick interior and heat-reflective exterior to guarantee the perfect cupcake. The best part? It'll yield one gigantic (8" high and 7" diameter) cupcake. Match it up with Sur la Table's stylish cupcake apron -- complete with bow pockets and adjustable tie -- and you've got a gift that's equal parts delightful and delicious.

[$29, Mighty Leaf]

11. Chocolate Truffle Tea Collection

Ask any mom what her favorite things are, and I guarantee that tea and chocolate will both be on the list. Combine the two, and you've got the Chocolate Truffle Tea Collection from Mighty Leaf. This set includes six chocolatey teas, all tucked into a glamorous gift box. Flavors include Mayan Chocolate, Masala Chocolate, Chocolate Mint, Chocolate Orange, Mocha Pu-erh, and Pear Caramel, with both caffeinated and non varieties. The teas themselves are loose-leaf and come in stylish little tins, so mom can display her love for tea, chocolate, and you all at once.

Be sure to check out the Mother's Day gift lists from Shaun and Alex, tune in tomorrow for Diana's, and get shopping!

Mother's Day Tip: Some Bling for Your Baby Mama

Steph Auteri — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 15:26:00 GMT

Word on the street is that you knocked up your girlfriend.

I trust that you'll do the right thing.

[$23, Supermarket]

For the love of god, don't forget Mother's Day!

You can choose an endearment necklace that says "mamacita," "baby mama," or "belle maman." She will be totally charmed.

Celebrations: Poem In Your Pocket Day

Steph Auteri — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 13:46:00 GMT

Today is apparently Poem in Your Pocket day, in celebration of National Poetry Month. You are to...um...carry a poem in your pocket all day long, and share it with those you come across. You can write your own (though my days of writing bad poetry are long behind me) or carry around a favorite.

I'm personally a fan of Wislawa Szymborska's poetry, and have always loved Emily Dickinson's "A word is dead/when it is said/some say./I say it just/begins to live/that day." But if you thinkyou need a little bit of help:

[$14.95, Poets.org]

Poem in Your Pocket has 200 poems, organized by theme, that you can tear out and share.

Wine and (Grilled) Cheese Party

Steph Auteri — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 17:58:00 GMT

Tonight, I'm throwing a wine and (grilled) cheese party in celebration of National Grilled Cheese Month. I've picked me up a variety of cheese slices and some basic white bread. My guests are bringing additional, gourmet-like choices.

I am way excited.

Psyched to throw your own party? After the jump, everything you need:

[$59.95, Cooking]

First off, you should pick yourself up a panini grill, much like the one above. This is where all the magic happens.

[$11.53, Amazon]

If you're afraid to just wing it, you can also pick up a cookbook dedicated entirely to grilled cheese, like the one above, which includes 50 recipes. Real Simple also has some great ideas for spicing up your typical grilled cheese sandwich.

[$17.95, Clutch Tees]

You should also dress for the occasion.

[$4.50 each, Sidepony]

Finally, you should gloat about your party after the fact, sending letters to everyone about how awesome a time you had, and how delicious the sandwiches were.

Good luck and godspeed. May your wine and (grilled) cheese party be a success.

Related: Grilled Cheese Heaven

Easter Tip: Make a Good Presentation

Steph Auteri — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 13:34:00 GMT

Last year, I posted my family's recipe for pizzarustica, the Easter pie we make every year.

(My mother has since expressed her horror over the fact that I saw fit to share our family recipe with the world; while I feel that everyone should have a chance to try this dish, I'm not going to tell her that over 55,000 people have since seen this recipe.)

While just one bite of this meat-and-cheese-filled pie will make the eater forget everything around them, I still believe strongly in making a good presentation. And this is why I own far too many serving platters. But surely, just one won't hurt you, especially when it's so damn cute:

[$19.99, Wrapables]

Related: Heart Attack in a Pan

Easter Tip: A New Way to Decorate Your Eggs

Steph Auteri — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:03:00 GMT

Dyeing Easter eggs with the fam is an annual tradition I can't bring myself to miss, even at the age of 28. Still, I must admit, by this point, I think we all realize how silly it is...a bunch of grown-ups dyeing Easter eggs. Perhaps it's time for an oh-so-adult update?

[$35, The Red Thread]

These chalkboard ostrich eggs come in a bed of jute, string, and fabric, and are far less fragile than your typical eggs. Draw something sweet or snarky on your eggs this year!

[Via Apartment Therapy]

Related: Creme Egg for Adults

Celebrations: National Cleavage Day

Steph Auteri — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 17:39:00 GMT

I can't believe I wasn't aware of this! Apparently, today is National Cleavage Day.

As I'm sure you'd rather see supermodel cleavage than my cleavage, I've posted pics of Wonderbra models after the jump. (It is, after all, a Wonderbra-sponsored holiday.)

Okay, so they're all the same model but, with her help, you can pick the perfect style bra for you.

Not satisfied? Well, when I think of cleavage, I also think of...

...Yes. With Scarlett Johansson, every day is National Cleavage Day. Enjoy guys!

Shirt of the Day: Lucky Drinks Too Much

Steph Auteri — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 20:19:00 GMT

I wish I had a box of Lucky Charms that I could gorge myself on today in honor of the holiday, but I already ate all the marshmallows in the last box I had, and then I threw the rest of the (boring) cereal away.

But I digress.

Looks like Lucky celebrated a bit too hard this year:

[$12.99, Crazy Dog Tshirts]

[Via Fashionably Geek]

Happy Hour: Make Every Drink Irish

Steph Auteri — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 19:58:00 GMT

Who needs a special day to drink like the Irish? I suggest buying a bunch of these glasses:

[$41, Cloudberry Living]

That way, you'll be seeing green every day.

Luck So Good You Can Smell It

Steph Auteri — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 19:25:00 GMT

I always thought that good luck would smell something like money...piles and piles of money.

But apparently, it smells like four-leaf clovers.

[$20, Rain Collection]

[$50, Rain Collection]

[$16, Rain Collection]

Happy Hour: Baileys Irish Martini

Steph Auteri — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 15:56:00 GMT

I went through a phase during which I was obsessed with chocolate martinis.

And the very best were, of course, made with Baileys Irish Cream.

In honor of St. Patrick's Day, Baileys has a delectable-looking Baileys Irish Martini recipe:

Ingredients:

3 1/2 oz. Baileys Irish cream
3/4 oz. Bushmills Original Irish Whiskey
Shot of strong, cold coffee
Chocolate sprinkles

Preparation:

Drop some ice cubes into a shaker and pour over Baileys. Add Bushmills Original Irish Whiskey, then a shot of strong cold coffee. Shake vigorously and serve in a martini glass. Garnish with chocolate sprinkles.

[Via Fine Living]

Related: Happy Hour: Martini Money

The Luck of the...

Steph Auteri — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 15:27:00 GMT

With a little bit of luck, your St. Patrick's Day party will be AWEsome:

[$18, Plum Party]

These good fortune cups will bring you the luck of the Irish...and everyone else.

Quick Tip of the Day: Suit Up for St. Patty's

Steph Auteri — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 12:19:00 GMT

Ah...St. Patrick's Day...

A day on which I always feel compelled to hole up indoors so as not to come in contact with belligerent drunks on the NJTransit buses...

Not to mention that corned beef and cabbage grosses me out.

Still! We're celebrating here at the Modern Materialist! In honor of this most holy of days, we're filling your blog feed with a day's worth of happy hour posts and other green (eco-friendly and otherwise) items.

But before we start this party, shouldn't you look the part?

[$14.99, Be Wild]

[Via Ooh! Shiny!]

Valentine's Day Resource: Candy Store Collective

Steph Auteri — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 15:19:00 GMT

[$16, Candy Store Collective]

Okay. I'll give my man this card if he gets me one of these necklaces:

[$80, Candy Store Collective]

[$148, Candy Store Collective]

Does that seem fair?

Oh, p.s. These silhouette necklaces are actually custom made from whatever digital image you send in, and then engraved with the name of the subject. How sweet is that!?

[Via paper n stitch]

Valentine's Day Tip: Spend Nothing at Kate Spade

Steph Auteri — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 20:19:00 GMT

This is the best Valentine's Day e-card ever in the world, mostly because I'm obsessed with candy buttons. If you sent this to me, I would luv u forever, too.

If this one's not quite your bag, there are more free e-cards where this came from! Kate Spade just launched a selection that she commissioned a varietyof artists to do up for her. You can browse them all here.

My other favorites, after the jump:

[Via Creature Comforts]

Valentine's Day Tip: What He Really Wants From You

Steph Auteri — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 20:37:00 GMT

No. Not your lingerie-clad body, his for the taking.

(Though, um, maybe later...)

[$25, New York Burger Company]

The New York Burger Company is offering Burger Bouquets deliverable both February 13 and 14 between 11 a.m. and 8 p.m. The bouquet includes three specialty mini-burgers (Chicago Burger, Dallas Burger & Seattle Burger), three signature dipping sauces, homemade potato chips, and brownie, and a personalized, hand-written Valentine note. Find out whether or not they can deliver to you.

Top 5 Things My Husband Must Compete Against for My Love

Steph Auteri — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 18:29:00 GMT

[$16, Supermarket]

my three cats
coffee
the latest book I happen to be reading
hot, 30-minute showers
sleep

With all of the competition, perhaps one of these cards would make him feel better:

[$2.50, Supermarket]

Valentine's Day Tip: Love Is Brewing

Steph Auteri — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 17:40:00 GMT

Want to show your sweetie that you care? Bring them a freshly brewed cup of coffee with one of these adorable Valentine's Day tea bags.

Come on, you guys! It's free!

Creature Comforts has created free printables, which you'll find here. The tutorial can be found here.

Valentine's Day Tip: Bring Him Sweet Dreams

Steph Auteri — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 15:34:00 GMT

[Photo via]

Bring him sweet dreams by whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

Or let the pillow do the dirty work for you.

[$32, Etsy]

You can personalize a postcard pillow over at Olive's Etsy shop.

Valentine's Day Resource: MadeByGirl

Steph Auteri — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 21:39:00 GMT

[$2.95, MadeByGirl]

I generally love everything MadeByGirl, but the Valentine's Day/Love cards are especially sweet.

Check out a few of my favorites after the jump.

[$2.95, MadeByGirl]

Valentine's Day Tip: All the Languages of Love

Steph Auteri — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 17:25:00 GMT

It's early afternoon on February 5, and already I'm eating Sweethearts (apparently, just Nutella isn't enough).

I find these Sweethearts to be particularly dulce:

[$2, Fred Flare]

Bilingual Sweethearts! Get one box in English, and one in Spanish.

Quick Tip of the Day: Celebrate World Nutella Day!

Steph Auteri — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 13:33:00 GMT

[Photo via]

If you buy nothing else today, at the very least, buy a few jars of Nutella.

I mean, I think every day should be Nutella Day, but today is the official World Nutella Day, and you can participate by by chronicling today's adventures with and enjoyment of Nutella.

Check this dinner spread I have planned:

Nutella Stuffed French Toast, courtesy of Closet Cooking.

Frozen Nutella Coffee, courtesy of Life on Both Sides of the Pond.

And I don't have a picture, but I'm also going to make Real Simple magazines version of Nutella s'mores — S'morgasbord.

Share your Nutella photos, stories, and recipes in the comments!

Valentine's Day Tip: Retro Cards From Fred Flare

Steph Auteri — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 17:58:00 GMT

Remember Valentine's Day in elementary school, where you wrote out cards for everybody and put them in a big box, and then the teacher handed them out later in the day?

And then, if you only got two cards, you felt like a huge loser?

Relive those days with these retro-style V-Day cards:

[$8, Fred Flare]

Valentine's Day Tip: Their Love Was Bittersweet...

Steph Auteri — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 20:24:00 GMT

While Valentine's Day itself has always left me wary and primed for disappointment — single or not — I've always loved Sweethearts. I can go through an entire bag of them myself in just two days and, if I'm feeling romantic or cute, can leave them strategically on pillows or computer keyboards to express my love. Once, I even mailed one to a guy I had crushed on since junior high; it said "call me." We ended up dating for three weeks.

The messages I'd prefer to leave nowadays have shifted in their intent.

[$9.95-$19.95, Despair, Inc.]

BitterSweets come in three different collections...Dysfunctional, Dumped, and Dejected. Enjoy!

Foodie Survival Kit

Alex Zalben — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 16:03:00 GMT

With all the terrible food you might eat over the holidays, it's good to have aback-up plan. That's why the foodie survival kit is so important:

Packed with tiny tins of dill, mustard, clove, garlic, nutmeg, paprika, wasabi, basil, onion, ginger, thyme, cinnamon, curry, oregano, cayenne, salt, pepper, soy sauce and Tobasco sauce, this will make sure your holiday meal doesn't become a horror-day meal. Man, someone should hire me to write this stuff.

What do you mean, "they already did?"

[$35, Uncommon Goods]

Related: Recap: Gift Guides For Foodies

Best/Worst Gifts This Year: Open Thread

Steph Auteri — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 15:03:00 GMT

Ever since the weather turned cold, I've been freezing my ass off in my home office, wishing I had a pair of slippers.

Now I have three.

Pictured above are my new Monty Python killer rabbit slippers (paired with my fuzzy Superman pajama pants). As you can see, they are awesomely ferocious.

I also received those boot slippers from Old Navy, which happen to be lined inside. When I slip my feet into them, it feels as if my tootsies are encased in clouds.

I also received some Isotoner slippers, and multiple pairs of slipper socks. The item I'm not so sure I'll be able to use? The tiny bottle of tequila that came in my stocking.

Leave your comments on the best and worst gifts received this year.

Recap: Gift Guides for Word Nerds

Steph Auteri — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 21:34:00 GMT

You knew it was coming...Here's a quick recap of all the word nerd gift guides that went up over the past month:

Stocking Stuffers for Word Nerds
Gifts Under $25 for Word Nerds
Last-Minute Gifts for Word Nerds
Oh! And we can't forget the official word nerd T-shirt.