The Modern Materialist : Koreannovation

Koreannovation ’08: Jade Treated Towels + Video!

Alex Zalben — Thu, 15 May 2008 21:30:00 GMT

This is the last thing I’m gonna post about the Koreannovation Fair, but it’s probably one of my favorites. Okmil creates Natural Jade Treated Towels. They revitalize and naturally moisturize the skin, unclog pores, and actually lighten the color of your skin, which you can see in the video below. But come back after the video to find out their horrifying secret. Totally not kidding this time:

Okay, back? So here’s the deal… I was wandering around with Phaedra from Best Week Ever, who decided to try out the Natural Jade Treated Towel, as you can see (or not, the video quality is pretty awful). After turning off said video, the following scene occurred:

Phaedra: Hey, so what is this product called?

Me: (Looking at the table) Oh, it looks like it’s made with Placenterm… Wait a—

Phaedra: Placenterm? (To lady at booth) What is this made with?

Lady: It’s a very special—It’s popular in Japan.

Me: Is this made with placentas?

Lady: It’s a very popular item.

That’s right, my friends: the Jade Treated Towels are people! They’re people! Okay, not really, and I know placenta is used in a lot of stuff, but still… There was a picture of a baby growing in its mother’s womb and everything on the box. Ew. Also, according to said lady, the cloths are not available in the US (duh), but you can check out their site, below.

[Okmil]

Koreannovation ’08: Self Acupuncture

Alex Zalben — Thu, 15 May 2008 20:30:00 GMT

This is one of the stranger items at the Koreannovation fair: a home, self-acupuncture kit. As you can see, Rachel, one of the many people who ended up showing me around the fair, is administering the Genesen Acutouch to the small of her back, to help relieve a little bit of the back pain that afflicted her from walking around a Con floor all day.

To take a little step back: The Accutouch is made up of two different small needles, and are filled with magnets (I think). You can take the needles, and press them into certain parts of the body to relieve stress, or help the treatment of pain, or any other thing acupuncture can do. There’s also, as you can see below, several different attachments, so you can more easily reach certain parts of your back:

Now, I don’t want to cast any aspersion here, but… There was a lady in the booth wearing an ill-fitting doctor’s coat, and glasses that looked kind of wrong on her face. She kept saying vague things about “working at the clinic,” and didn’t seem to know exactly how to use the Acutouch, or where exactly you placed it. So real doctor, or Con Booth actor? You decide. But only based on the sketchy info I just gave you.

I will say that Rachel felt a little bit of relief from her back pain… Though that may have been from, you know, sitting down for five minutes.

[Genesen]

Koreannovation ’08: X-Cube Dish Cleaner + Video!

Alex Zalben — Thu, 15 May 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Pictured above is the X-Cube Ultrasonic Cleaner. It removes residue and bacteria using air bubbles generated by sonic waves. But why write about it, when you can watch it in action on my very own hand:

Perhaps not the most exciting video, as you can’t see any bubbles or dirt, but I’ll tell you this: it completely worked. I couldn’t find a direct site to buy the X-Cube from, so you may have to wash corn the regular way for right now. But check out the official site at the link below.

[Pollex Technology]

Koreannovation 2008: Blooming Bidet

Alex Zalben — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:30:00 GMT

One of the more unappetising items at the show was the Blooming, a high-speed bidet, which has three settings for shooting water up your chooch.

Though you can’t really see it here, as there’s a splash guard, upon pressing a button, a metallic arm whirs out from the back of the bidet, and starts spraying water as intensely as possible. It also has a heated seat, a self-closing seat cover, and a remote control. You know, so you can use the bidet when you’re not sitting on it or something?

While not all of the products at the fair were available for public sale, the Blooming is. Bully! Check back for plenty more from Koreannovation throughout the rest of the day, and tomorrow.

[$600, Magic John]

Koreannovation 2008: Ringbo, The Riding Robot

Alex Zalben — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:00:00 GMT

No, I didn’t ride this. Yes, I wanted to. No, they wouldn’t let me. After we got past that little tiff, I found out that Ringbo is a pretty cool little driving machine from Airrobot.

Basically, Ringbo is controlled by the two handles you see as his ears. They swivel forwards and backwards controlling Ringbo’s movement. Ringbo himself responds to said movements, and can talk in either Korean, English, or any other programmable language. His other neat little feature is that he has motion sensors (the black bar at its base) in the front and back, so he won’t crash. Fun, and safe for kids! And not full grown bloggers, apparently.

Now, I need your help Materialistas. I have a video posted below of the Ringbo in action. There’s a totally ridiculous song playing in the background (listen to all the lyrics), but I’m pretty sure it’s an American, pop, 80s song that’s been corrupted into some sort of terrifying anthem about singing a happy song, and eating ice cream. So can you guys watch the video, and tell me what the song is?

[Airrobot]

Koreannovation 2008: Pet Pavilion, A Seven Star Hotel For Your Pets

Alex Zalben — Thu, 15 May 2008 14:30:00 GMT

Hot dog, this product is cool! Puns all, across the board entirely intended, as this is, essentially, a pet toaster. One of the first items I got a good look at during the Koreannovation fair, this is, essentially, a medical product, as its temperature and humidity control help the incubation process with both dogs, and, um, eggs.

There are actually three models of the incubators, and they are supposed to be for medical reasons, but were actually described to me as just for keeping your pets warm. You know, like the cute little doll used as an example in the picture above? In fact, their spec sheet lists the product as alternately a Pet Pavilion, and as a Luxury Pet House. I like to call it the Pet Toaster, and leave it at that. Because what dogs like doing is cramming themselves in tight, hot spaces. For fun*!

Don’t believe me? Then check out this video of a dog heating up in a box:

[Autoelex]

*Actually, maybe they do, and I just don’t know. Dog owners?

Koreannovation 2008: Intro + Mega-Quake-Prime + Video!

Alex Zalben — Thu, 15 May 2008 13:30:00 GMT

Yesterday, I had a chance to tour the floor of Koreannovation, the 2008 Korea Trade Show here in NYC, with a steadily increasing entourage of people. Seriously. It seems I hit in a little bit of a lull point, and by the time I left, there were four or five managers all hanging out, getting acupuncture, and snacking on Korean ice cream

But Koreannovation isn’t all about fun and games, it’s also about the products, including:

- A dry erase board that glows with neon colors, pictured above.

- A toaster for heating up your pets.

- Cloths that soften your skin, lighten its color, and turned out to be made from human placentas.

Needless to say, I had a fabulous time. I can’t wait to tell you all about it. To that end, I’ve put together a little video for you guys below. Sorry about some of the, um, close-ups, but I didn’t have control of my camera. Also, in case it isn’t clear, the thing in the video is shaking me like a mofo:

All back? Cool. So just in case it wasn’t clear, the Mega Quake-Prime is an exercise machine created by J International CityM Korea, and exercises you while you stand there and get shaken to bits. To bits I say!

This, like a lot of the other products at the fair, was not actually for sale, so they were unwilling to give me a price estimate. So I’m going to say, $5? Sure.

[Jtrade]