The Modern Materialist : Apparel

Scooter Booter

Laureen Mahler — Wed, 13 May 2009 17:33:00 GMT

Usually we here at MM leave our fine footwear posts in Shaun's extremely adept hands (or feet?), but he was kind enough to send this one my way... what with my Vespa obsession and all. So can you guess what makes these sweet Adidas even sweeter?

[$122, Size UK]

Adidas teamed up with Vespa to create these limited edition shoes. Not only do these snazzy shoes merge a comfy mid-top sneaker with a "mod desert boot", they also boast an embossed Vespa logo on the heel. And Adidas definitely doesn't skimp on the detail: features include metal lace eyelets and charcoal suede uppers, and the shoes themselves come in a special Vespa box with scooter-inspired wrapping.

If I can't afford a real Vespa, this is definitely the next best thing. Thanks Shaun!

[via The Awesomer]

Shirt of the Day: I'll Be Your Vulcan Bride

Steph Auteri — Tue, 12 May 2009 13:03:00 GMT

Yesterday, Laureen admitted to a crush on Zachary Quinto, and even fantasized about what she might do with a sexy Vulcan beneath these sheets.

My reaction? Save me a piece.

Apparently, I'm a 12-year-old teenybopper again. In fact, I spent all day yesterday trying to find the perfect desktop wallpaper that included both Zachary Quinto (Spock) and Karl Urban (Bones). I have been thus far unsuccessful.

Le sigh. Can't you all see that a union between Spock and I is only logical!?

[$26, 80s Tees]

Be Forever Clothed with Adult Swim

Laureen Mahler — Mon, 04 May 2009 19:37:00 GMT

Who among us has not spent the occasional late-night hour frolicking with the Mooninites, or considering the finer points of heavy metal with Dethklok? Thanks to the newly debuted Adult Swim clothing line, you can profess your love for uncouth (and often misunderstood) cartoon characters in public, without any awkward consequences:

[$75, Williams Street]

These Aqua Teen-inspired pants are 100% cotton twill and embroidered with Mooninites. No word on whether Err is wielding his middle finger, but I'm gonna go with yes.

[$50, Williams Street]

The Robot Chicken hoodie (pardon me, I mean Dinner Jacket with Hood) features a chicken robot lapel logo along with subtle boy-and-unicorn lining.

[$15, Williams Street]

Murderface's Calf-Control socks seamlessly merge practicality and fashion. Not only will Murderface keep your feet in line, he'll do it with argyle.

[via Gearfuse]

The Lacoste Accost

Laureen Mahler — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 17:31:00 GMT

Remember the old Lacoste? Those adorable alligators (Or are they crocodiles? Can anyone really tell the difference?) sewn into polo shirts from 1971 and tucked like tiny treasures into thrift store racks. Well, that Lacoste is history. Meet the new technicolor, soundtracked, and very in-your-face Lacoste:

The just-release Lacoste Red collection is slick, mod-inspired, and undeniably fun. Plus it has its own soundtrack, produced by French mixmaster Yuksek. The designs themselves stick pretty closely to classic Lacoste, but with added color and sleeker cuts:

[Lacoste Red]

While I'm always a little bit wary of slick ad campaigns, I have to admit this collection makes me very ready to celebrate spring. And those famous polo shirts? They vary pretty wildly, with pricetags of $32 to $97 each.

Just in case you need further evidence that Lacoste is no longer your grandfather's clothing company, here is its official Twitter feed and iPhone app.

[via Luxuo]

In the News: Lauren Conrad Goes Low-End

Steph Auteri — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 19:26:00 GMT

It appears Lauren Conrad's high-end fashion line hasn't been performing as well as she'd hoped. Which is why she's going low-end, collaborating with discount retailer Kohl's to create a line of California-inspired clothing that will retail for $20-$60.

The line will launch in October, and go by the name LC Lauren Conrad.

Just in case, she's at a loss for inspiration, I have a tip for her:

[WAS $225/NOW $134.99, Lauren Conrad]

Why not just slash the prices on her original line even further, and sell those at Kohl's? I mean, they were overpriced to begin with, right?

Cozy Like a Ninja

Steph Auteri — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 20:38:00 GMT

I can be quiet like a ninja, but can I be cozy like a ninja, prepared for all instances of survival?

Perhaps if I had this ninja hoodie I could. Designed by Brianwood as part of his We Shall Overcome Fall/Winter 2008 collection, I'm not sure if it's available anywhere for sale.

But that's just like a ninja hoodie. Mysterious and stuff.

[Via The Awesomer]

Shirt of the Day: Snuggies Finally T-Shirt-Worthy

Steph Auteri — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 18:22:00 GMT

In the preceding weeks and months, the Snuggie Wars have gone viral. While the conflict originally encompassed a turf war between the Snuggie and the Slanket, new products, such as the Blankoat and, um, the thing above, started popping up everywhere.

But the true sign of something gone viral has nothing to do with blog posts, traffic, or copycat products. No. The real question is: Is it T-shirt-worthy?

[$16.95, NoiseBot]

Half of a Conversation

Laureen Mahler — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 20:43:00 GMT

I'm a sucker for anything with a good story behind it, which is why I'm so smitten with these custom t-shirts from UK company Half a Conversation. Here's how it works: customers send in their story and what they want their shirt to say, Half a Conversation chooses the very best, prints them up typewriter-style, and sells them to whoever wants to buy. The Half a Conversation site is a little like PostSecret; click on a shirt, and the background story will pop up, occasionally with personal photos included. More shirt designs and stories after the jump:

Maybe it's that I know far too many people in bands, but this hairbear totally cracked me up.

Ah, the jobless child of a revolutionary. To be honest, getting fired from every job you've ever had might indicate a problem that goes beyond family history.

Many, many more shirts can be found at Half a Conversation, though be warned: once you start clicking on background stories, you'll never go back...

[$32 - $44, Half a Conversation]

[via Holycool]

Storming the White Castle

Laureen Mahler — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 17:27:00 GMT

[$20, House of Crave]

Okay guys, I'm going to let you in a little secret of mine, but you have to promise not to judge. Ready? I am completely obsessed with White Castle. I've never actually been to a White Castle or eaten anything from White Castle, but between my frequent Harold & Kumar marathons (as in I watch the first movie over and over again in one sitting) and the whole concept of Chicken Rings, I'm absolutely smitten. To make matters worse, White Castle doesn't exist here on the West Coast.

So imagine my glee when I came across an entire website (White Castle House of Crave) dedicated to raunchy White Castle merchandise. Check out those fresh buns above, and read on for more naughty Castle gear:

[$10, House of Crave]

The folks at White Castle aren't stupid; they know that between burgers and boobs, we would all choose... both.

[$6, House of Crave]

The White Castle fridge magnet set may not seem naughty, but here are a few phrases I managed to put together from the words in the pic:

"Crave and need tasty sausage"
"Appetite for sack"
"Rise between hot buns"
"Your appetite for beef is family large"

Wow, that's dirty.

Related: The Sound of White Castle

Trend Watch: That's How I Roll

Steph Auteri — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 16:20:00 GMT

[$20, Busted Tees]

The first time I saw a "how I roll" tee, I couldn't help but snicker at the cleverness. Not it seems I can't stumble around the Internet without seeing 10 new iterations.

I have to admit, though. They still make me giggle. After the jump, my favorite interpretations:

[$14.95, Buy Olympia]

[$16.95, NoiseBot and $24.99, KA Designs]

(I actually bought the one on the left for both my father and my brother, who bowl on a league together.)

[$22.15, Zazzle]

[$24.99, Gone Blue]

[$16.02, Manchester Co.]

Which clever versions would you create if you could?

Test Drive: Ginch Gonch

Laureen Mahler — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 18:55:00 GMT

Okay, first things first: what the hell is a Ginch Gonch? According to the ever-handy Urban Dictionary, Ginch = old school men's briefs, and Gonch = well, let's just say it means nasty old tighty-whities. So why in the world would I want to test drive nasty men's tighty-whities? As you can see from the photo above, Ginch Gonch is a bit of a misnomer (intentional, I'm sure). These panties combine all the nostalgia of little boy Underoos with the fanciness of Victoria's Secret.

Read on for the extremely intimate test drive:

[$24 - $28, Ginch Gonch]

Ginch Gonch underwear for women come in more styles than you can count, all of them colorful, fun, and yes, equipped with penis hole. Why do women need a penis hole? Two reasons: 1) Ginch Gonch is about the whole Underoo package, shaped for women, and 2) be creative.

First, the packaging: Ginch Gonch knows how to make you feel fancy when you open up your shipment of undies. It was like Christmas in March when mine arrived, complete with packaging strewn all around the house, me dancing around in my new panties, and my cat chewing on one of the tags. Apparently she likes Ginch Gonch, too.

The undies themselves do not disappoint. They fit like a charm (and trust me, if these puppies weren't reshaped for female curves, I'd be one uncomfortable test driver), and they feel fantastic. We're talking much higher quality undies than I normally find around my nether regions. Okay, I admit that the little boy-inspired design was a bit weird at first. I mean, I like the whole nostalgia thing, but can I really be nostalgic for boyhood? Isn't that somewhat dirty? But putting Ginch Ginch on is sort of like transforming into the superhero of Underoo fame. It suddenly all makes sense. Really, really comfy sense. (Side note: why exactly did little boys get to have all the undergarment fun?)

The folks at Ginch Gonch also sent a pair of long underwear (available in a multitude of designs). With these, I set out to answer the ultimate test drive question: would Ginch Gonch make me look sexier doing what I do best? (To clarify, what I do best is sit on my ass at the computer.) Answer:

[$42, Ginch Gonch]

Absolutely! Check me out up there. I could wear these out in public and turn heads. Though they might be turning for the wrong reasons...

My conclusion: I've completely fallen under the charms of Ginch Gonch. Yes, they're pricey, but they're also the most fun you'll have (by yourself) in underwear. And guys, they also make men's undies, meaning that the Ginch Gonch store has something for just about everyone.

Tools of Seduction: Highlighting Your Assets

Steph Auteri — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 16:05:00 GMT

When it comes to fashion, I've learned that it pays to highlight your best assets.

Which is why I wear v-neck sweaters and/or shoulder-baring tops.

What to do, however, when your best asset is a bit more...hidden?

[$99.99, LightintheBox]

Thanks to pomoboy and his wife for bringing The Vagina Dress to our attention. The best part? It's totally being marketed as your normal, everyday prom dress. Would I let my imaginary daughter wear this to prom? Over my dead body.

How this will get you laid: With his eyes constantly and helplessly drawn to the prize, you can rest assured that he will love you for your body and not your mind.

Dress Like America's Favorite Couple

Steph Auteri — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 16:30:00 GMT

No. Not Brangelina.

Shop.com actually has an Obama Shop, with separate categories for Barack, Michelle, the girls, etc.

Look presidential without any of the guesswork:

Wear a sheath dress, just like Michelle, or a snazzy suit, just like Barack!

Tools of Seduction: Sexy Stilettos

Steph Auteri — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 17:37:00 GMT

[$911, farfetch]

Apparently, there's been a study that scientifically proves that wearing high heels can better your orgasm.

That's right. Wearing stilettos helps women develop their pelvic muscles, which in turn influences the contraction ability of the muscles. And well-developed pelvic muscles strengthen sexual arousal, allowing women to have stronger orgasms.

But riddle me this:

How will being unable to walk (not to mention being unable to pay the rent after buying the shoes above) affect my libido?

How this will get you laid: Everyone knows that high heels make damn sexy legs look even sexier, ensuring that you'll be inundated with wannabe sexual partners. That and the ability to more easily orgasm will make your love muffin feel like a rock star.

Sleep Anywhere in Style

Laureen Mahler — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 15:33:00 GMT

[Photo via]

I'll admit it. I am one of those people who can sleep anywhere. Sure, it's uncomfortable to sleep under the coffee table while Conan the Barbarian is on TV, but hey, tired = sleep, you know? (On a side note, that example might have been more about avoiding even one more shot of a greased-up Arnold Schwarzenegger, but you get the point. Dear god, how can one man be so greasy in a single film?)

Anyway, now a brilliant little UK company has created the perfect thing for sleeping anywhere, anytime. Here it is, folks... the sleeping bag suit:

[$169, Lippi Selk]

Now I've got to get me one of those shower suits, and I'll be set.

The Sweet and the Low: Off the Shoulder

Steph Auteri — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 21:28:00 GMT

[Photo via]

I've been looking at red carpet photos for months now (in lieu of actually watching the awards shows), and I think it's official: the one-shoulder, romantically-draped dress is the hot ticket. Just check out Slumdog Millionaire star Freida Pinto above, in the dress she wore for last night's Oscars.

I want. I gotta have. But can I afford?

The Sweet:

[$695, Neiman Marcus]

[$295, Bloomingdale's]

The Low:

[$65, ASOS]

[$18, ASOS]

Stay Warm With Mustaches

Shaun Seneviratne — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 20:04:00 GMT

Back in July we blogged about this Mustache Handkerchief and other mustachioed products.It's freezing cold now and that handkerchief just won't cut it for the subzero weather a lot of us are feeling. Warm up with our new favorite mustache products:

The Mustache Ski Mask. One for the Grover Cleveland (above) or Dali (below) in all of us:

[$14, American Apparel]

And though the mask may be cheap, having a mustache on our index finger costs considerably more:

[$98, Jack Spade]

Thanks to Lauren for the tip!

Perfectly Wholesome

Steph Auteri — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 19:25:00 GMT

Today's unseasonably warm weather has led me to thoughts of swimwear.

Completely wholesome thoughts, of course:

[$62.30-$76.30, WholesomeWear]

WholesomeWear's WaterWear is designed to "highlight the face, rather than the body," and even includes an undergarment with bright colors at the neck and shoulders to draw the eye upward. The spandex undergarment is then covered by a Taslan outer garment. The outer garment is then covered by amagical force field that ensures that no one will ever touch you.

Thanks to Nerve intern Billy for the tip!

Get Your Game On

Steph Auteri — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 15:33:00 GMT

[$24.95, Amazon]

If I saw you wearing this tie, I'm not sure if I would run away screaming, or find it endearing.

Still, if that's how you get your game on...

[$24.95, Amazon]

[Via Gizmodo]

Old School Batman Hoodies

Shaun Seneviratne — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 20:56:00 GMT

I don't know how this guy could look so down when he's rocking a BATMAN hoodie!

I still rock my Batman bedsheets (ladies totally love it) from time to time, which look a little bit like these hoodies:

And they just keep coming:

I had a t-shirt version of this design in 11th grade, when I was much cooler than I am now.

Old school Batman apparel = amazing.

[eProze]

[Via High Snobiety]

Shirt(s) of the Day: Carry a Song on Your Chest

Steph Auteri — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 19:51:00 GMT

[$32, Every Little Counts]

I've always loved Every Little Counts' romantic and sexy shirts, and their latest collection is no different. For their Winter 2009 collection, they've let themselves be inspired by love songs:

[$32, Every Little Counts]

[$35, Every Little Counts]

[Via Modish]

That Hot Jacket I Can't Pull Off

Steph Auteri — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 22:44:00 GMT

Hey you guys. I totally just bought this hot jacket from Etsy seller reddoll and, for some reason, I just can't pull it off. I don't know why. It's gorgeous. It's cozy. And it's sewn with this pale pink thread, which just adds to the charm. But it's just not...me.

I am desperate for someone to rock this jacket in the way that I am unable to, which is why I've put it up for auction over on ebay. Someone! Please give it a good home!

In the meantime, check out some of the other swoon-worthy pieces in this Etsy shop:

[$75, Etsy]

[$85, Etsy]

[$95, Etsy]

[$85, Etsy]

Hot and Bothered

Laureen Mahler — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 19:08:00 GMT

It's funny how sometimes the universe conspires to produce the perfect product at the perfect moment. Like how earlier this week I posted about USB slippers that warm your feet, and a little before that about a bra that massages your breasts. So what happens when you put those two products together?

You get USB bra inserts that warm your breasts while you're on the computer:

Sure it's a lesser know affliction, but PC-induced boob freeze is a huge problem these days. Didn't you know?

[¥1980, Rare Mono]

[via Geekologie]

Playing Dress-Up With Your Man

Steph Auteri — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 15:55:00 GMT

[Photo via]

Aside from the winning combination of dark-wash jeans + blazer, male fashion is a mystery to me. In fact, I typically just buy my husband snarky T-shirts every Christmas.

Judging from the way he dresses on his own, male fashion is a mystery to (most) males as well. (My friends Dan and Matthew are exempt from this judgment, as they look perpetually like Ken dolls.)

Give a guy a hand:

[$13.45, Barnes & Noble]

I think I have to trust Esquire's judgment re: male fashion more than my own.

[Via MadeByGirl]

Gift Idea: Keep the Cat Lady Warm

Steph Auteri — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 14:32:00 GMT

Do you have a crazy cat lady in your life? I do! (um...it's me...)

Just because there are bundles of soft, fluffy fur running around said cat lady's apartment doesn't mean she has the means to keep warm throughout the winter months (though it's really great when I lay down on the couch and Gizmo walks up to my chestage and lies down and purrs, because then I feel both warm and warm&fuzzy...).

So what do you get for the cat lady who has it all?

[$128, Urban Oufitters]

Honestly? I'm a cat lady, and even I don't know why this sweater exists (or why in hell it costs so damn much).

(Tip courtesy of esteemed Babble photo editor Lauren, and passed along by Best Office Manager Ever Nicole.)

What I'll Most Definitely Need at the End of this Holiday Season

Steph Auteri — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 22:52:00 GMT

This is what I look like since Thanksgiving happened (disclosure: some photos may not actually, um, be me at all). Let's all try to imagine what I'll look like after Christmas (I've been baking).

[$62, Yummie Tummie]

This Yummie Tummie tank top — shapewear designed to smooth and flatten your stomach and hips with its magical middle panel — will either make me look like this girl (who probably doesn't need the damn top in the first place), or like 10 lbs. of poo stuffed into a 5-lb. bag.

[Via Outblush]

Would You Pay: Hoodie As Luxury Item?

Steph Auteri — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 16:06:00 GMT

I must admit that a huge part of me is trying to justify the price on this oh-so-feminine and swingy hoodie.

What would you pay?

Would you pay $220?

[$220, Beklina]

[Via Simply Lovely]

Gift Idea: Superhero To Go

Steph Auteri — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 14:24:00 GMT

When I was little, I used to pretend I was a superhero by stomping around the house with a wet towel as my cape. Nowadays, I fulfill the superhero urges I get after watching an action movie by driving aggressively, and pretending I'm racing the other drivers on the road.

No. I am not an 8-year-old boy.

But I know of something that your 8-year-old boy might like:

The Super Hero in a Box includes a cape, wristlets, and mask.

[$22, Restoration Hardware]

Cold-Weather Item for the Recluse in Your Life

Steph Auteri — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 15:06:00 GMT

Now that I've become a recluse, I don't require much. Just my fuzzy pajama pants. A warm top. My Slanket. A lot of coffee. An Internet connection. And a good pair of slippers.

Unfortunately, one of my cats pissed on my slippers (yes, gross) and I had to throw them out and now I just wear a pair of fuzzy socks around the condo, and while it's fun to slide around on them, they're just not as warm as I need them to be.

I've been wanting these Monty Python rabbit slippers, but then I saw these:

Do these not look like the warmest things you've ever seen!? They're absolutely perfect for trudging about my condo 24/7!!!

Love.

[$15, Old Navy]

Love It or Leave It? Adult Footsie Pajamas

Steph Auteri — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 21:02:00 GMT

[$44.95, Pajama City]

I used to have pajamas exactly like this. I swear to god. I wore them at Christmastime, so that I could match all the candy canes on the tree. Of course, I was quite young, so I think I shouold be forgiven.

Pajama City has footsie pajamas for adults, of both the male and female persuasions. And they have lots of them. Is this the perfect guilty-pleasure way ot staying warm this winter?Or is it the lamest and most embarrassing thing ever?