The Modern Materialist : Accessories

I Vant to Vear Your Glasses

Laureen Mahler — Tue, 12 May 2009 17:33:00 GMT

You know what's super hip? Retro sunglasses. You know what's even hipper than that? Retro sunglasses inexplicably modeled by vampires.

[$176, Context]

[$170, Revolve]

[£88, BunnyHug]

These shades are created by New Zealand designer Karen Walker, and I guarantee that if you put a pair on, you will instantly be transformed into the epitome of cool. Oh, and a vampire apparently.

Incidentally, I wonder if vampires constantly lose their expensive sunglasses and lament about it for the remainder of all eternity.

[via Cool Hunting]

Sneeze All Over a World City

Laureen Mahler — Thu, 07 May 2009 15:35:00 GMT

[$8.50, Muji]

Why travel all over the place spreading probable Swine Flu? Instead, stay home with one of these map handkerchiefs and let your snot see the world:

[$8.50, Muji]

Muji's city map sneezables come in London, New York, Paris, and Tokyo (currently sold out), and they're a great way to ensure that your stuffed nose is the worldliest one around.

[via Better Living Through Design]

Evolution of the Boombox

Laureen Mahler — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 16:49:00 GMT

Ah, the boombox. Boon of all things musically fashionable, and vehicle for my complete Guns N' Roses collection circa 1989. It seems that we just can't get enough of the boombox, and I have to say I'm a fan of the trend.

So where has the boombox gone in the last three decades? Here is a brief evolution of its fashion-morphosis:

The Totable Boombox

[$45, Karmaloop]

Steph has already introduced you to this boombox-inspired tote, which features all the aesthetics of the old-school boombox, plus added functionality.

The Pocket-Sized Boombox

[$16, 80s Purple]

This wallet demonstrates an even smaller iteration of the boombox. And the ability to carry money pretty much defines evolution to a higher sort of civilized species, right?

The Hands-Free Boombox

[$10, GirlProps]

The boombox ring is so small it doesn't even require hands to carry, though I suppose it does require fingers to wear. Two of 'em, in fact.

What Evolution Teaches Us

The boombox appears to be shrinking rapidly in both size and functionality. This, however, has only heightened its stylishness and desirability. In summary: the boombox as iconic fashion statement? Absolutely. As uber hip way to listen to your favorite cassette tapes on repeat? Well... not so much these days.

Keep Your Loved Ones Close (To Your Cleavage)

Steph Auteri — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 21:26:00 GMT

[Photo via]

Steps for Keeping Loved Ones Close (To Your Cleavage):

Purchase a good push-up bra.
Put it on.
Pull on a v-neck sweater.
Locate a loved one.
Hug them to your bosom.

OR, you could just...

[$153-$820, sweet tooth designs]

Yes, a bit pricey. But...cute? Creepy? Overmuch? You tell me.

Tools of Seduction: Very Temporary Tattoos

Steph Auteri — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:17:00 GMT

I know that tats are a dime a dozen these days, but something deep inside me still finds them sexy.

Perhaps this is due to early teen memories of Jersey Shore boardwalk tattoo parlor workers with lip rings and bleached blonde, spiky hair. Perhaps...

Which is why today's tool of seduction plays into that, in a not-totally-committed sort of way:

[$13, Etsy]

Yup. Knee high tattoo socks, a variety of which are available through the Etsy tattoo socks shop.

How this will get you laid: Okay, it won't. Because as soon as you slither out of your socks, that guy you reeled in will walk away in disgust, boner or not.

Y U Should Buy This Laptop Bag

Steph Auteri — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 15:16:00 GMT

[Photo via]

Need a bag that will fit your laptop and all your other work-away-from-home items? Let's not go crazy. It's possible to fit everything into one, compact frame without a shitload of bulk:

[$167, hard graft]

The Y Laptop Sleeve has a y-shaped strap so that you can keep your notebooks, mags, and the like close, and a U add-on pouch for your smaller extras. A final, external leather is there for your iPhone/iPod.

[Via Holy Cool]

Vegan Sandals That Look Like Leather

Diana Vilibert — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:47:00 GMT

In honor of Earth Day on Wednesday, I wanted to share these lovely sandals--proving that "vegan" and "fashion" can come together in very chic ways. More about this vegan shoe, after the jump:

These chic spring Olsen Haus ‘David’ sandals look like leather but are actually made from 100% vegan, animal/cruelty-free faux patent leather. Olsen Haus produces only environmentally conscious and animal-friendly clothes and accessories, so if you're looking to green up your wardrobe, this is the place to do it.

[Olsen Haus via Trendhunter]

The Perfect Bag for Octo-Mom?

Steph Auteri — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 16:11:00 GMT

Nadya Suleman — Angelina Jolie look-alike and the mother of octuplets — is looking to trademark the name "Octo-Mom" so that she can sell branded diapers and clothing.

Would she be perturbed to leaen that the octo-bag already exists?

[$32, Patina]

[Via Ooh! Shiny!]

Something Sparkly

Steph Auteri — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 18:33:00 GMT

Looking to buy something sparkly without breaking the bank? (I always am.)

[$42, YesStyle]

Actually, at this price point, I'd expect at least a little bit of real sparkle.

The Extra Leg: Protect Your Pants From Bike Grease

Shaun Seneviratne — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 17:30:00 GMT

I personally have no problem with rolling up my pants, but I usually have an issue of my pants being too tight and unable to roll up past my calf.

The Extra Leg lets you protect your pants while remaining stylish:

Made by A.P.C. with their revered denim, these pant protectors wrap around your calf to protect your jeans. It looks even cooler when you pair it with a contrasting pair of pants:

Available in raw, black, and white denim.

[$16, Stroke's Extra Leg]

[Via Valet]

Related: Say Goodbye To Chain Grease

Zip It

Laureen Mahler — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 18:02:00 GMT

A perfect example of why ties are completely overrated:

Look familiar? Then this zippy little product might be just for you:

The Zipper Tie looks and feels like the real deal, but behind that professional facade lies a handy little zipper that loosens the neck loop. You can even get zipper ties in various knot styles, including dimple, wide, and skinny (I swear, those are real knot styles). How have I never heard of this before? Are zipper ties really common, and all the while I've been assuming that I'm surrounded by adults who can tie their own ties? Ee-gad!

In any case, you can find the Zipper Tie lots of places, but My Nice Tie has an excellent (ie well-made and professional-looking) selection for $13 each.

Or you could just invest in one of those tie t-shirts, though the classiest ones I could find are made for children:

[$38, Inhabitots]

Inappropriately tight is the new fitted, right?

The Sweet and the Low: Get Liv's Look

Steph Auteri — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 19:00:00 GMT

I am just tickled...purple that Liv Tyler is rocking shades in my favorite color. After the jump, where you can pick up your own pair, for just a little or a whole lot:

The Sweet:

[$325, Barneys New York]

For a little bit of luxe, pick up this pair of purple spectacles by Paul Smith.

The Low:

[$12.50, Delia's]

These are a little lighter than what Liv's wearing, but very close as far as style goes.

[$5.80, Forever21]

These are closer in color, and even cheaper than the ones above!

But...my personal favorites:

[$10.99, trueCulture Sunglasses]

[Via Jezebel]

Wear Your Heart on Your...Um...Heart

Steph Auteri — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 17:01:00 GMT

Things I Used to Do When I Had a Crush:

doodled his name in my notebook
doodled his name into my MASH game
checked our horoscopes against each other
silently burned for him
passed pathetically platonic notes

For a much bolder declaration of love, wear your heart on your...um...heart:

[$4, day-lab]

These I heart boy pins proclaim your love for you, and then subsequently drive the object of your affection away, horrified and whimpering.

I've Never Wanted a Watch More Than I Do Now

Shaun Seneviratne — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 14:26:00 GMT

Ho-ly shiz. These watches may be the most beautiful I have ever seen in.

Launched just last year, TSOVET--Time Instruments integrate "the styling of engineered industrial tools, motor gauges, and avionics instruments." According to Gilt Groupe's blog, David Bonaventura,TSOVET's owner/designer sees his watches as "a collection of cool LP records in their original sleeves in a world of formless MP3 files."

Enough talk. Click below to see all their sexy, sexy models:

SVT-CS79. I want this one. Bad. (UPDATE: I just bought this.)

[$395 - $425, TSOVET]

SVT-LX73. But this one is really nice too.

[$395 - $425, TSOVET]

SVT-CV74. Most of the models are available in similar colorways.

[$425 - $475, TSOVET]

SVT-AT76. Brushed black = subtle cool.

[$495 - $550, TSOVET]

SVT-AT76 Limited Edition. Only 25 pieces made and individually numbered.

[$940, TSOVET]

These watches are a little pricey, but if you are on Gilt Groupe, an invite-only fashion sample sale site, they will surely be severely discounted when they go on sale at noon today. If you want an invite to Gilt Groupe, just leave a comment with your e-mail address!

[TSOVET]

The Sweet and the Low: Real Housewives of NY Edition

Steph Auteri — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 13:02:00 GMT

Okay, guys. Please forgive me for bringing the Real Housewives into this, but it's come to my attention that Kelly Killoren Bensimon of The Real Housewives of New York has a bit of an owl fetish. Suddenly, it seems to me that I wasn't thorough enough in my previous trend watch post.

After the jump, we play a game of the Sweet and the Low with one of Kelly's necklaces:

Looking for an owl with bling? The necklace on the left was designed by Kelly herself (and I do admit to being dazzled by it), while the one on the left can be found at ModCloth. Which one's sweet and which one's low? Kelly's comes in at $115, while the ModCloth locket is a mere $29.99. The choice is yours, folks.

Tools of Seduction: Sexy Stilettos

Steph Auteri — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 17:37:00 GMT

[$911, farfetch]

Apparently, there's been a study that scientifically proves that wearing high heels can better your orgasm.

That's right. Wearing stilettos helps women develop their pelvic muscles, which in turn influences the contraction ability of the muscles. And well-developed pelvic muscles strengthen sexual arousal, allowing women to have stronger orgasms.

But riddle me this:

How will being unable to walk (not to mention being unable to pay the rent after buying the shoes above) affect my libido?

How this will get you laid: Everyone knows that high heels make damn sexy legs look even sexier, ensuring that you'll be inundated with wannabe sexual partners. That and the ability to more easily orgasm will make your love muffin feel like a rock star.

All This Extra Cash is Making Me Hungry

Steph Auteri — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 12:53:00 GMT

All this extra cash? It instantly makes me think: Value menu!

Having this wallet doesn't help:

[$7.99, ModCloth]

Do you think having a nacho wallet makes you fatter?

The Way To My Heart

Steph Auteri — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 15:02:00 GMT

The way to my heart?

Typically, a packet of candy buttons or, lately, fluffy stuff lollipops.

But if you want to go the traditional route...

[$198, Q-pot]

Sure. Get me jewelry.

This burger ring comes with an individual ring layer for each part of the delicious, meaty sandwich.

[Via Ooh! Shiny!]

Pretty Up Your Plain Jane Products

Steph Auteri — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 17:19:00 GMT

Are you the type of person who likes to make everything perfectly pretty, down to the bathroom toilet? (::coughcough:: me)

Then you might sort of love these products by designer Louise Graham, made to pretty up everyday objects:

[$50, Pedlars]

This milk pourer fits pretty much any milk container.

[$41, Pedlars]

This egg cup stand allows you to transform pieces of your egg crate into pretty little egg cups.

[$41, Pedlars]

And this handle screws into your margarine container.

[Via Designers' Block]

Buy a Wallet That's Business-Ready

Steph Auteri — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 14:54:00 GMT

Suit pants? Check! A blouse that doesn't showcase my boobs? Check! A blazer? Check! Belt? Of course!

My shoes leave much to be desired, but you can't have everything. Something should be done about my wallet, though, which looks as if it's been run over my several trucks.

[$28, Uncommon Goods]

These wallets have been made from recycled suits and neckties, making them the perfect accessory for your business attire.

[Via Fashionably Geek]

Related: Ting Wallet

Brooching the Subject

Laureen Mahler — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 18:04:00 GMT

[$42, Sniffle Co]

Okay, I admit it. Woody Allen is paying MM for promo. Let me tell you, he came to us; we're just that awesome.

But really, while it is a happy accident that Shaun and I are both on the Woody Allen track today, it's no coincidence that these quirky accessories from Sniffle Co. are a must-buy:

[$32, Sniffle Co]

It's a pin pin! Get it? Yeah? Well good.

[$15, Sniffle Co]

Lost tooth buttons are gross and adorable.

Much more on Sniffle's site.

[via Boing Boing]

Tell It Like It Is

Steph Auteri — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 18:05:00 GMT

I've had my eye on this necklace for quite some time now and, today, I finally bit the bullet. After all, I feel it's important to tell it like it is. And despite the fact that I review vibrators, occasionally attend play parties, sometimes frequent RedTube, and have a nude portrait hanging in my bedroom, I am such a prude.

If you're not, never fear. Etsy seller trashy deluxe is sure to have the right bling for you.

[$50, Etsy]

Saturday Night Haberdashery

Laureen Mahler — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 16:23:00 GMT

[Photo via]

Want to know how you can be even hipper than these guys? I know it's hard to imagine, but the magical product that will unlock timeless disco hipness does exist. Are you sure you're ready? Okay. Here it is:

[Urban Trend]

The disco ball hat. Simple, effective, and utterly ridiculous in any scenario that doesn't involve a massive dose of irony. And is it just me or is this guy the last dude with a disco ball on his head that you'd ever dance with?

[via Fashionably Geek]

Guess the Product: Lights, Camera, Action

Laureen Mahler — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 17:58:00 GMT

Here's a hint: it lights up, but it isn't a camera.

So what is it?

[Tsubota Pearl]

It's a lighter! From none other than the venerable smoking supply company Tsubota Pearl, no less. It also comes with a cord and trigger for remote lighting. Dang, how I wish I was a wealthy smoker sometimes...

Stay Warm With Mustaches

Shaun Seneviratne — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 20:04:00 GMT

Back in July we blogged about this Mustache Handkerchief and other mustachioed products.It's freezing cold now and that handkerchief just won't cut it for the subzero weather a lot of us are feeling. Warm up with our new favorite mustache products:

The Mustache Ski Mask. One for the Grover Cleveland (above) or Dali (below) in all of us:

[$14, American Apparel]

And though the mask may be cheap, having a mustache on our index finger costs considerably more:

[$98, Jack Spade]

Thanks to Lauren for the tip!

Roundup: Internet Porn

Laureen Mahler — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 17:59:00 GMT

[$18.50, NerdyShirts]

I love the internet. And the internet loves me back. Know how I know? It brings home (some of) the bacon, keeps me informed and organized, and never fails to entertain me when I'm bored.

Maybe it's time to show the internet just how much I care...

... with a roundup of clever internet fan gear. (And no, it's not that kind of porn; think kitten porn, or design porn.)

[$11, Atypyk]

The WiFi fan: for when it's hot and wireless.

[$16, Etsy]

Internet bling is totally OMG.

[$13, ThinkGeek]

Ah, internet puns: geeky and true.

[$11, Xtreme Geek]

Never be without your keyboard, especially when there's seasoning to be done.

Label Whore: Tord Boontje for Cheapskates

Steph Auteri — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 15:28:00 GMT

I've been obsessed with Tord Boontje for quite some time now, and even own the Garland light above (though it's being stored for the moment, in anticipation of a home upgrade).

Unfortunately, most of Boontje's designs are out of my price range (let's face it: I shouldn't even have bought the Garland light).

But...but...people! Tord Boontje jewelry! Tord Boontje jewelry has arrived!

The Charming line by Tord Boontje Studio is being sold through Artecnica (prices available upon request). I can only imagine that these small baubles are a bit more affordable than Boontje's larger, more dramatic pieces.

UPDATE: Pieces will retail for $20-$40 depending upon finish and package choice. Not bad!

[Via NotCot]

Valentine's Day Resource: Candy Store Collective

Steph Auteri — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 15:19:00 GMT

[$16, Candy Store Collective]

Okay. I'll give my man this card if he gets me one of these necklaces:

[$80, Candy Store Collective]

[$148, Candy Store Collective]

Does that seem fair?

Oh, p.s. These silhouette necklaces are actually custom made from whatever digital image you send in, and then engraved with the name of the subject. How sweet is that!?

[Via paper n stitch]

Get Your Game On

Steph Auteri — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 15:33:00 GMT

[$24.95, Amazon]

If I saw you wearing this tie, I'm not sure if I would run away screaming, or find it endearing.

Still, if that's how you get your game on...

[$24.95, Amazon]

[Via Gizmodo]

Stuffed Animal Magnetism

Laureen Mahler — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 20:08:00 GMT

This is your average teddy bear. It's not especially sexy, or adventurous, or exotic. On the list of things you'd give your man, it's probably somewhere near the bottom, along with nose-hair clippers and sock garters.

Now, forget every preconception you have about teddy bears and consider this: the man's man teddy bear:

[Random Cool Stuff]

While I approve of almost everything in this bear's belly (especially Catcher in the Rye and condoms, 'cause that's totally how I roll), I do have a question about the rope. Really? Rope?