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The Modern Materialist

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  • Microwave, Toaster To Have Child



    One of my least favorite things about the microwave is that it has quickly eliminated the toaster from daily life. My toaster oven, growing up, was one of my favorite kitchen gadgets to play with, as it was like an oven but, you know, smaller. It could toast stuff, but also cook stuff, and more than anything, not make it into a weirdly hard/soft mess, like a microwave does.

    The solution, after the jump... 

    Read More...


    Posted Apr 24 2008, 03:30 PM by Alex Zalben with | with 1 comment(s)
    Filed under: , ,

  • The Microwave of My Dreams


    I’m going to take a break from my regularly scheduled, “Isn’t that hilarious? It’s a robot mouse, but it plays videos!” to bring you something I actually, desperately want… Yet cannot have.

    I was recently doing a little shopping for a new microwave. The old one works fine, it’s just tiny, and takes up a fair bit of counter space for the amount of food I can stick in it. I ended up exploring KitchenAid’s site, as I already own a KitchenAid mixer, and a KitchenAid food processor, and am married to Elvira Kitchenaid, heir to the KitchenAid fortune.

    That’s when I fell in love. Details of my torrid affair after the jump...

    Read More...


    Posted Mar 07 2008, 04:30 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments
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    • about the blogger

    Wendy Atterberry is a recent transplant to New York City via Chicago. You can often find her at some karaoke dive bar singing her repertoire, which includes "Midnight Train to Georgia," "Daniel," and most recently, "Sweet Dreams." Don't expect her to always hit the right notes. She lives in Manhattan with her boyfriend and two cats, and has a blog like everyone else.

    Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

    Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site http://www.stephiswrite.com, and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page.

    Diana Vilibert is a freelance writer, among other things. Born in Lithuania, she now lives in New Jersey, where she doesn't have to walk to work ten miles in the snow, barefoot, uphill both ways. Diana cannot afford most of the products she writes about because she buys too many pairs of heels to make up for her shoeless childhood. She's written for MarieClaire.com, Janemag.com, and CosmoGIRL!.

    Send tips to modernmaterialist@nerve.com