Condom of the Future

Posted by Steph Auteri

Five Things I Wish My Future-Condom Would Do For Me:

  1. Obliterate sperm upon sight.
  2. Obliterate germs upon sight.
  3. Analyze my sex partner's DNA in order to determine whether or not they are my soul mate.
  4. Give me an orgasm.
  5. Play "Let's Get It On" and a mix of other smooth jazz standards during coitus.

After all, when you put the letter "i" before a product name, in order to create something like the iCondom, you have a lot to live up to:

[iCondom] 

Five Things This Future-Condom Actually Does:

  1. Comes in flavors such as California strawberry, diet cola, and natural porridge.
  2. Remembers your erectionary abilities (???)
  3. Wait a second. Is this info trying to tell me that it also lights up?
  4. Greases you up for anal.
  5. Matches your iPod (or at least the box does).

This info page frightens me.


[Via Gizmodo]

 


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted May 23 2008, 10:30 AM

Comments

eurrapanzy said:

i'm not sure if this is hilarious or depressing.  i think they'll make a mint, though.

May 23, 2008 11:42 AM

twlightknight said:

is this real or a joke? because theres a preorder page for them....

May 23, 2008 10:10 PM

About Steph Auteri

Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site -- stephiswrite.com -- and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom.com. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page, http://twitter.com/stephauteri.

in