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The Modern Materialist

Festival Survival Kit

Posted by Alex Zalben



For those of you who read this blog regularly, it won’t come as too much a shock to find out that I love clubbing. I like going dancing in clubs, and partying, and hanging out with all the cool… Okay, fine, I’m a NARC.

But, as a NARC, I still have to do some serious partying so I can get in with the perps who sell whizzbangers and hoo-ha juice on the mean streets. That’s why I like the Festival Weekend Survival Kit, which comes packed with everything I need to keep jamming with kids about half my age, including: glow stick; energy slabs; condom; sun cream; mints; ear plugs; toothbrush; toothpaste; deodorant wipe; refreshing wipe; mosquito wipe; plasters; emergency tissues; and drugs.

Ha! I saw you perk up about the drugs! You’re under arrest, you stoner. Turns out... I was a NARC. The whole time.

[£10, Drink Stuff]


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted May 08 2008, 06:00 PM
Filed under: ,

Comments

weinersandboobs said:

Bonnaroo Survival Preparedness Kit -rolling papers, not included.

May 9, 2008 11:35 PM

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    • about the blogger

    Wendy Atterberry is a recent transplant to New York City via Chicago. You can often find her at some karaoke dive bar singing her repertoire, which includes "Midnight Train to Georgia," "Daniel," and most recently, "Sweet Dreams." Don't expect her to always hit the right notes. She lives in Manhattan with her boyfriend and two cats, and has a blog like everyone else.

    Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

    Steph Auteri is a freelance just-about-everything, with a special fondness for home goods she can't afford. She has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press and Nerve. She runs the blog selfhelpme.net, and her work can be found at stephiswrite.com.

    Editorial Director, Nerve Media:
    Michael Martin

    Send tips to modernmaterialist@nerve.com