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The Modern Materialist

Test Drive: Loc8tor Lite

Posted by Steph Auteri

[$79.99, Loc8tor]

God, I'm unphotogenic.

Anyways.

Way back when, I posted about the Loc8tor Lite, a new personal tracking device. In the interests of science, I thought it would be good to borrow one for testing purposes. After the jump, I play hide & seek with my lens cap, an item that is always getting misplaced.

The good people behind the Loc8tor were kind enough to send me an already-activated specimen, and an already-registered homing tag. Using one of the the included adhesive tabs, I attached the homing device to my lens cap.

Then, I counted to 100 while Michael hid my lens cap somewhere in the depths of our disaster-of-a-condo.

After reaching 100 and shouting "Ready or not, here I come!" (some aspects of this story may or may not be true), I powered up the Loc8tor and began stumbling through the condo.

I went a mere three steps before getting an encouraging orange light (well, at least it wasn't red) and a quickening beep-beep-beep. Excited, I began looking around one of our end tables, and through our piles of recycling containers.

 

No dice. It was at about this time that my lab partner in crime began taunting me. "You really suck at this," he said, as I began flipping through the mail. "Don't you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"The homing tag is beeping too!"

"Really? I can't hear anything over the sound of this thing in my hand," I insisted, as the Loc8tor beep-boop-bopped in my hand.

Michael shook his head. "Just keep looking," he said, sounding dejected.

I made my way into the kitchen, where suddenly I could hear something else beeping. Unfortunately — like a gunshot in an open space — the damn beep sounded as if it was coming from everywhere! Here is me beginning to lose my tenuous grip on reality:

 

I tried to listen to the beeping of the homing device. Then I tried to ignore the beeping. I tried to concentrate on the beeping of the Loc8tor itself, and the blinky lights, which were showing progressively higher levels of green.

 

Finally, I happened upon my lens cap in a cabinet above the stove! When in heck would I ever lose a lens cap there!?

On a second test drive, in which I hid the lens cap behind a pillow in the loving room, the beeping of the homing device was louder, and much easier to pinpoint. So the Loc8tor could theoretically come in handy. If you happen to have one of the two homing devices attached to the object that you actually end up losing. For those who lose the same thing over and over, perhaps it would be worth the $80. What do you think? Love or Leave?

 


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About Steph Auteri

Steph Auteri is a freelance just-about-everything, with a special fondness for home goods she can't afford. She has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press and Nerve. She runs the blog selfhelpme.net, and her work can be found at stephiswrite.com.

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  • about the blogger

    Wendy Atterberry is a recent transplant to New York City via Chicago. You can often find her at some karaoke dive bar singing her repertoire, which includes "Midnight Train to Georgia," "Daniel," and most recently, "Sweet Dreams." Don't expect her to always hit the right notes. She lives in Manhattan with her boyfriend and two cats, and has a blog like everyone else.

    Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

    Steph Auteri is a freelance just-about-everything, with a special fondness for home goods she can't afford. She has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press and Nerve. She runs the blog selfhelpme.net, and her work can be found at stephiswrite.com.

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