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The Modern Materialist

Scarlet Has a Secret...

Posted by Alex Zalben



Okay, so… There’s been these posters everywhere for this new TV series, Scarlet, right? And the trailers all tell you that Scarlet has this big secret, and that it will premiere on ScarletSeries.tv on April 29th. Well, that’s today, and guess what Scarlet’s secret is?

She’s a television.

Yup, you just got viral marketed at, a-hole. Ha! Gotcha!

Seriously, this is totally the most annoying thing ever… I understand that LG thought they were being clever when they hired David Nutter, who has directed more TV pilots than anyone else to film a commercial for their new television. And when you watch the trailer again, they are playing a relatively clever game:

- They never refer to Scarlet as a person.
- They say Scarlet will change TV forever.
- The character we think is Scarlet says, “The evidence is staring you right in the face.”
- They even show you the new TV in the trailer.

But, let’s just say when you’re kind of curious to find out what Scarlet’s secret is, and it turns out that there is no secret, and no TV series, and LG was lying to you the whole time, that doesn’t engender you to buy a new television from them. In the official press release, they even say the audience, who was gathered expecting a TV premiere were speechless when they literally got a premier of a new TV.

Livid, more likely.

The TVs themselves are fine. They have a 1080p resolution, super fast response time, and range from 32 to 52 inches. In Korea, the price ranges from $1,500 to $5,300. No word on US pricing or availability yet.

Here’s what it looks like, by the way.



[Via AP]


Posted Apr 29 2008, 05:30 PM
Filed under:

Comments

Baron Von Monkeychow said:

You do realize the "girl" Scarlet in the top picture is a CGI creation? She only exists as ones and zeros in a computer.

April 30, 2008 3:59 PM

Alex Zalben said:

...she is actually an actress named Natassia Malthe. Though technically, as it is a jpeg, you're correct?

April 30, 2008 6:19 PM

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  • about the blogger

    Wendy Atterberry is a recent transplant to New York City via Chicago. You can often find her at some karaoke dive bar singing her repertoire, which includes "Midnight Train to Georgia," "Daniel," and most recently, "Sweet Dreams." Don't expect her to always hit the right notes. She lives in Manhattan with her boyfriend and two cats, and has a blog like everyone else.

    Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

    Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site http://www.stephiswrite.com, and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page.

    Diana Vilibert is a freelance writer, among other things. Born in Lithuania, she now lives in New Jersey, where she doesn't have to walk to work ten miles in the snow, barefoot, uphill both ways. Diana cannot afford most of the products she writes about because she buys too many pairs of heels to make up for her shoeless childhood. She's written for MarieClaire.com, Janemag.com, and CosmoGIRL!.

    Send tips to modernmaterialist@nerve.com