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The Modern Materialist

Five Things I Suppose I Don't Miss About Being Single

Posted by Steph Auteri

 

  1. Making out with strange men on the dance floor as the overarching techno beat thrums its shattering way from my eardrums into my skull and finally throughout my entire chest cavity.
  2. Living with Mom. Seemingly for the rest of eternity.
  3. That point in my life where my fashion sense was so, so sad and misguided that my mom would tell her friends I was going out "slutting."
  4. The kids table at weddings and family gatherings.
  5. Not Having Michael.
Five Things I DO Miss:
  1. Free drinks on girls' night out.
  2. Eyesex that has the potential to become sexsex.
  3. Not compromising.
  4. Man-juggling.
  5. An excuse to wear this ring.

 [$72, Fancy]



+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted Apr 28 2008, 01:30 PM
Filed under:

Comments

Jen said:

Oh my God. We get it. You have a boyfriend. You mention it an awful lot for a product blog.

April 29, 2008 1:21 PM

Charlotte said:

Ahhh ha ha ha ha.  She just got married. It hasn't even been a year. I don't think she's over the shock.

April 29, 2008 2:26 PM

Wendy Atterberry said:

Actually it's a husband Steph has, Jen, not a boyfriend. You may have her confused with me who mentions her boyfriend a lot on this here product blog. We're different people, Steph and I are, don't forget.

April 29, 2008 8:42 PM

Alex Zalben said:

And I'm the one who mentions his S.O. in a very vague way, like I just did right now. Sound off!

April 30, 2008 8:07 AM

Steph Auteri said:

omg I have so been called out. The sad thing is, I don't have much of a life outside of the home life. :(

April 30, 2008 8:42 AM

About Steph Auteri

Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site -- stephiswrite.com -- and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom.com. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page, http://twitter.com/stephauteri.

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    • about the blogger

    Wendy Atterberry is a recent transplant to New York City via Chicago. You can often find her at some karaoke dive bar singing her repertoire, which includes "Midnight Train to Georgia," "Daniel," and most recently, "Sweet Dreams." Don't expect her to always hit the right notes. She lives in Manhattan with her boyfriend and two cats, and has a blog like everyone else.

    Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

    Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site http://www.stephiswrite.com, and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page.

    Diana Vilibert is a freelance writer, among other things. Born in Lithuania, she now lives in New Jersey, where she doesn't have to walk to work ten miles in the snow, barefoot, uphill both ways. Diana cannot afford most of the products she writes about because she buys too many pairs of heels to make up for her shoeless childhood. She's written for MarieClaire.com, Janemag.com, and CosmoGIRL!.

    Send tips to modernmaterialist@nerve.com