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The Modern Materialist

Birds of a Feather

Posted by Wendy Atterberry

 

Reasons I don't have kids yet even though I'm in my early 30's and my biological clock is tick-tick-ticking away:

  • Don't like other people's boogers (well, don't like my own either, for that matter...not that I ever have them)
  • Not ready to give up booze and caffeine for at least 9 months
  • Who needs kids when you have two cute cats?
  • Haven't yet grown tired of my mother asking when I'm going to make her a grandmother (after I get married, of course)
  • Hate the nauseating color and design of most children's toys, with the exception of a few things, including this beautiful Birds of a Feather mobile.
  • Need my Saturday mornings to sleep off my hangovers
[$65, Wishingfish]

+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted Feb 20 2008, 03:00 PM
Filed under: ,

Comments

Steph Auteri said:

In addition to boogers, I'm also not looking forward to the poop. It's the same reason I'll never get a dog.

February 20, 2008 3:50 PM

nan said:

Uh, the puking? Which, with children, is prodigious?

February 20, 2008 8:33 PM

Alex Zalben said:

You guys NEED to stay away from Park Slope. You'll go mad.

February 20, 2008 11:07 PM

About Wendy Atterberry

Wendy is a recent transplant to New York City via Chicago. She loves dive bars, diners and dark movie theaters and hates when people talk with affected accents (like Madonna and Johnny Depp). She lives in Manhattan with her boyfriend and two cats, and has a blog like everyone else.

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    • about the blogger

    Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

    Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site http://www.stephiswrite.com, and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page.

    Diana Vilibert is a freelance writer, among other things. Born in Lithuania, she now lives in New Jersey, where she doesn't have to walk to work ten miles in the snow, barefoot, uphill both ways. Diana cannot afford most of the products she writes about because she buys too many pairs of heels to make up for her shoeless childhood. She's written for MarieClaire.com, Janemag.com, and CosmoGIRL!.

    Shaun Seneviratne is a dude just like anyone else. Just your average guy that raps Bone Thugs-n-Harmony to strangers on the subway at 4 a.m., doesn't chew his food because he believes it's a waste of time, and sleeps next to a scale replica of the Ghostbusters headquarters. He can rest easy knowing Egon, Peter, Ray, and Winston have his back. He currently lives in northern New Jersey, plays bass in Rapid Cities, and recently started a tumblr.

    Laureen Mahler is a writer and editor who lives in California, where the sun never sets and everyone rollerskates to work. She coedits Beeswax Magazine and spends the remainder of her time as a freelance writer and letterpresser. She truly believes that someday she will master the ultimate multitask of blogging while letterpressing, though that might mean that she'll need a second pair of arms.

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