Date Machine

Sex Machine: Small ones are more juicy

Posted by airheadgenius

Small blog posts that is.  V. busy day. But in the spirit of one a day keeps the doctor away, here's a little something I wrote on the train earlier...


I am sitting next to this guy on the subway. He is hella cute, complete with messenger bag and bike, plus cool hat, shorts, tanned legs and stylin' leather sandals. I'd do him in an instant and almost feel like striking up a conversation, except he is half asleep.

But that's not it.

The offputting bit is that he keeps scratching his balls. Yeah, I know that a half asleep male has no other choice, hell, my little boys already do it, but this dude is digging in his crotch like he's digging for potatoes. Just now, he launched his hand down the inside of his shorts and rearranged himself completely. My desire for his hard body and full lips is overridden by an overwhelming impression that he probably has crabs.


Shame. 

 

 

The obligatory back catalogue:

The Perfect Blowjob
What is a boyfriend
Friends with Benefits
Real Women
Another quick pull out
Lesbian Lovers Come Out
Digits
Asymmetrical Knobbage
Cunning Linguist
Cunnilingus
Fabulous at 40
Winehouse Reveals
The Chick Facial File
Mirrors
Confession plus Daily Knob!
Abusive?
Celebrity Confessions: Boy George
Dick Trilogy Part 3
MORE dicks in my inbox
Dicks in your inbox
Read my Sodding Profile!
Nerve Confessions: Herpes
The Queen Confesses
The Arse Man Cometh
The Ass Play Chronicles
The Sandwich Blowjob Porn Connection
Bangin Ass
Deformed Dicks
Did I really dream that?
Why I don't date Celebrities
Fashionably late or just a slacker

 A blissfully crab free zone, one would hope, Nicholas Gonzalez

 

 


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted Oct 02 2008, 03:41 PM
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Comments

spjv840 said:

ha, when i read the title of this i had no idea what to expect. hilarious!

The ball scratching in public is not good. In the privacy of your home is one thing but on the but on the subway! Ech! Definitely craps. Or sweaty balls.

October 2, 2008 4:23 PM

spjv840 said:

Ahem...and by "craps" I obviously mean "crabs". Heh.

October 2, 2008 4:24 PM

recycledbrooklyn said:

Lordy! Inside the shorts??? That's vile. My bad train karma is the Count Oblivio The Nose Picker.  Once a week, I swear, right next to me.  He assumes different faces so he can sneak up on me and get right next to me. I can't wrap my head around the idea that this is a city of tens of thousands of nose pickers so it simply must be the same guy each time. I nearly started a brawl earlier this week when I offered him a tissue.

October 2, 2008 5:14 PM

airheadgenius said:

This isn't my biggest seller huh?!

"Small ones are more juicy" was an advertising catch phrase for oranges back when I was a teenager. Outspan satsumas to be precise. It's still common parlance in the motherland. I forget that we don't share the same pop culture references.

October 2, 2008 8:12 PM

recycledbrooklyn said:

Lordy... I hadn't noticed before, but is THAT what abs are supposed to look like??? I'm going to go run around the block a couple times and do some crunches.  

October 2, 2008 8:17 PM

airheadgenius said:

Forgot to mention that of course the subtext of the advertisment was a petite bosom.

And recycled, didn't ya mean a couple hundred times?? I've seen your profile pictures. Mwaah!

October 2, 2008 8:57 PM

recycledbrooklyn said:

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!

October 2, 2008 9:32 PM

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