61 Frames Per Second : sega

8-Bit Love: The Ten Greatest Vintage Game Songs to Have Sex To, part 2

John Constantine — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 21:00:00 GMT

Cyriaque Lamar is a New York-based writer with a New Jersey-bred weltanschauung. He’s had original work published at Cracked.com and performed at The New York International Fringe Festival. Cyriaque is thrilled to contribute to 61FPS, as it brings him one step closer to his childhood dream of living on the set of Nick Arcade.

5.) Final Fight CD – “Walk In the Park (Bay Area)”

System: Sega CD (1993)
Sounds Like: A sweaty nooner with Don Johnson.
I always loved the premise of Final Fight. The idea of a city’s mayor stripping down to his underjohns and beating the shit out of unemployed people in order to stimulate job growth was really ahead of its time. Wait? Mike Haggar was actually fighting to save his daughter from an evil street gang? And here I thought the game was some kind of radical Objectivist propaganda. This Bay Area theme is classic whatever console you play Final Fight on, but the Sega CD version pushes it to the limit with gale-force porno guitars. Seriously, these riffs are like an F4 on the Fujita Scale. In my mind’s eye, the person who would get the most out of this track wears a ton of sea foam green and frequents Fort Lauderdale whorehouses. Sometimes, you just gotta be that person. When it comes to the Sega CD, the only thing sleazier is Night Trap.

4.) Chrono Trigger – Schala’s Theme

System: Super Nintendo (1995)
Sounds Like: Ravi Shankar, Level 12 Bard.
Another track from wunderkind Yasunori Mitsuda? Man, I should just wear my Chrono Trigger fanboyism on a t-shirt. Or a hat! Yes, a big fucking sombrero like those worn by morbidly obese stockbrokers at Jimmy Buffet concerts. My sombrero will depict the final battle against Lavos, with Robo, Lucca and Magus executing the Omega Flare triple tech. After I conceive my first-born son wearing this sombrero, I will store it in the broom closet until his first day of middle school, at which point I will place my abomination of a hat on his head and send him on his way. When he inevitably comes home tearful and bruised, his Chrono Sombrero torn asunder, I will embrace him and say, “Today you learned what it is to be a man. We’re ordering pizza tonight.”

3.) Streets of Rage 2 – S.O.R. Super Mix

System: Sega Genesis (1992)
Sounds Like: The Madchester music scene mashed into a Mega Drive cartridge.
I lived in Baltimore a few years ago. My neighborhood was more Pink Flamingos than The Wire, mostly pleasant with pockets of dicey urbanity. This track by the great Yuzo Kushiro (Actraiser) syncs up with that time in my life rather aptly. I had the streets and I had the rage. I also had the sick piano breakdown at 1:36. That emotional miasma and sweet key work made for a heady love making combo. Still does. It was a weird time in my life, but not Streets of Rage 2 weird. Game’s about a twelve-year-old in rollerblades who dismantles a heavily-armed crime syndicate. Go figure.

2.) The Last Ninja 2 – “The Mansion”

System: Commodore 64 (1988)
Sounds Like: Coming home from work, only to discover John Carpenter banging your wife.
Matt Gray’s soundtrack to The Last Ninja 2 is one of the better things in life, and “The Mansion” is one of its most memorable tracks. Its utility goes far beyond the bedroom. Sure, you and a buddy can thrust away to this instrumental’s nearly eight minutes of analog acrobatics, but why not use it for a more grand occasion? “The Mansion” is a more than adequate proxy for Pachelbel. It’ll make your nuptials more like the wedding scene from Big Trouble in Little China.

1.) Tetris – “A-Type”

System: Game Boy (1989)
Sounds Like: Tetris. Duh.
There’s nothing inherently sexy about the Tetris theme. Thing is, everyone knows “A-Type”, and if you blast it in the sack, you will be your partner’s most memorable lover ever. Period. It doesn’t even matter how good or bad the sex is. Every time this pops into an ex-lover’s head, he or she’ll have no choice but to sigh, “[Your Name Here] balled me to the Tetris theme.” Decades may pass, but once they recall those opening Bolshevik bleep-bloops, a mnemonic trigger will kick in and your shining nudity will be all they have ever known.

Part 1

Previous Top Tens:

The Ten Greatest Ice Levels in Gaming History
The Ten Greatest Classic Mega Man Levels
The Ten Videogames That Should Have Been Controversial
The Ten Greatest Opening Levels in Gaming History
The Ten Most Adventurous Sequels in Gaming History
The Ten Greatest Fire Levels in Gaming History

8-Bit Love: The Ten Greatest Vintage Game Songs to Have Sex To, part 1

John Constantine — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 20:00:00 GMT

Cyriaque Lamar is a New York-based writer with a New Jersey-bred weltanschauung. He’s had original work published at Cracked.com and performed at The New York International Fringe Festival. Cyriaque is thrilled to contribute to 61FPS, as it brings him one step closer to his childhood dream of living on the set of Nick Arcade.

There are three reasons this list exists. First, I felt obliged to highlight 61FPS’s distinction as the gaming apparatchik of an internet sex publication. Second, I wished to showcase the unsung virtuosos of yesteryear who made masterworks using a limited palette of sounds. Finally, I intend to rebut those critics who still dismiss video games as low culture. Using the below examples, I intend to reclaim the carnal legacy of video games by evincing how early console music illustrated the gamut of human sexuality, from atavistic, heteronormative modes of eroticism to polymorphous perversity as delineated by Freud.

Plus, the thought of people sticking penises into vaginas to Nintendo music is funny.

10.) Radical Dreamers – “The Girl Who Stole the Stars”

System: Super Famicom Satellaview (1996)
Sounds Like: Koyaanisqatsi composed on Mario Paint.
Since roughly 95% of all human lovemaking involves someone with a XX chromosome pairing, I thought it necessary to seek out my female associates’ thoughts on which game music best applies to amore. The suggestions I received were few yet incisive — responses ranged from “the Kid Icarus theme” to “Who the eff effs to video games?” Ultimately though, I deferred to my own instincts and picked this pan-pipe jam from the Japan-exclusive, text-based sequel to Chrono Trigger. Composed by the legendary Yasunori Mitsuda, “The Girl Who Stole the Stars” is easily the most romantic theme on our list.

9.) Pole Position – Background noise

System: Atari 65XE (1985)
Sounds Like: Skynet becoming sentient.
The way I see it, there are two types of lovers in this world. The first type does it to The Whispers and The O’Jays, whereas the second diddles to Autechre, Radio-Activity-era Kraftwerk and the hum of AC units. The grating 8-bit drone of this Namco racing classic, is dedicated to the latter group — those who bang to cold, robotic minimalism. It’s also worth nothing that “PREPARE TO QUALIFY” is perhaps the best pre-coital war cry I’ve ever heard, particularly when your partner has no clue what you’re yelling about. Nothing improves foreplay like car metaphors and total incoherence. Remember the make-out scene from Gone In 60 Seconds?

Editor's Note: The Nerve and 61PFS by-laws state that no mention of Pole Position may go unaccompanied by this link.

8.) Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake – “Night Fall”

System: MSX2 (1990)
Sounds Like: Passion. Yearning. Crates.
Solid Snake, Big Boss, Naked Snake. Nobody pens phallic codenames quite like Metal Gear creator Hideo Kojima. This harmonica-fueled ditty is from the Japanese version of Metal Gear 2. “Night Fall” is the only song on this list with an in-game pedigree as a sex jam — it plays when Solid Snake angles for some love during wartime. He totally strikes out, but what did you expect? With all that spying and peeping he does, I always figured Snake likes to watch.

7.) Zoda’s Revenge: StarTropics II – “Dungeon Theme #2”

System: Nintendo (1994)
Sounds Like: Vicki Sue Robinson’s “Turn the Beat Around” sung by an alcoholic Speak & Spell.
Most of the songs thus far have a “Quiet-Storm-meets-Q*Bert” vibe, so we’re going to shake it up with a certifiable club banger. When it comes to dance floor heaters about time-traveling teenagers fighting crudely-animated yetis, “Dungeon Theme #2” is impossible to trump. Play it at your next party and bookend it with some Crystal Castles and Futurecop. If some loser balks, matter-of-factly reply, “This is some old-school Japanese shit. Kanye’s totally sampling this for his next single.” You’ll only be half-lying.

6.) Donkey Kong Country 2 – “Stickerbrush Symphony”

System: Super Nintendo (1995)
Sounds Like: Massive Attack’s “Heat Miser” driven by a Casio horn section.
What the hell is this? This is a game about a pair of simians wearing Payless sneakers. It’s borderline profane to have a track this Sade-smooth in a Donkey Kong game, but consider the alternative — the DKC2 soundtrack could well have been five hours of the Donkey Kong Rap . Credit goes to Rare composer David Wise for making a bramble maze filled with bees sound downright silky. So silky, in fact, that it's perfect for exploring your partner's very own bramble maze.

Part 2

Previous Top Tens:

The Ten Greatest Ice Levels in Gaming History
The Ten Greatest Classic Mega Man Levels
The Ten Videogames That Should Have Been Controversial
The Ten Greatest Opening Levels in Gaming History
The Ten Most Adventurous Sequels in Gaming History
The Ten Greatest Fire Levels in Gaming History

FMV Heaven: Panzer Dragoon's Opening Theatrics

Nadia Oxford — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 01:04:00 GMT

As far as I'm concerned, nobody has the right to laugh at you if you picked the Sega Saturn as your horse in the 32-bit console race. The Saturn was home to Panzer Dragoon, a series that wholly deserves to be thriving today. Unfortunately, even the memory of Sega's dragon-shooter is filmy; though game nostalgia is big business, Panzer Dragoon games have not haunted us beyond a weak attempt here and there, and we're sadder for it.

3D games in the 32/64-bit era tended to be afflicted with the Uglies. It was an awkward, transitional phase for gaming that was worsened by developers who fought against console limitations instead of working with them.

Panzer Dragoon worked with the Saturn's limitations. The shooter's visuals might not be as impressive as they once were, but there's no mistaking the care taken with the art direction, especially in the opening cutscene (thanks in part to creative contributions made by French artist Moebius, whose Arzach comic series served as the main inspiration for Panzer Dragoon's arid, rocky world).

The game's opening cinema doesn't burden the player with much in the way of text beyond a brief summary of events. Despite the brevity and the relative blandness of the character models (intentionally dull colours, low polygon count and textures, jerky movements), the hostility and danger of the environment is conveyed perfectly. Early in the cinema, a friend of the hero's is picked off by a scuttling crustacean with a large stinger. The hero chases the sand-crab into some ruins, where it's quickly preyed upon by a much bigger, even deadlier shelled beast. But within seconds, that monster is slain in the crossfire of a dragon fight, which is merely one far-reaching tentacle of a world-consuming war.

“No,” Panzer Dragoon says to the player, “the world you're about to explore is not pro-human.”

I've always loved the dragon designs in the Panzer Dragoon series. They're elegant without being flowery. Most dragon-riding fantasy books tend to turn the beasts into pretty pretty ponies, but the helmeted/horned masked dragons of Panzer Dragoon are mysterious, compelling—and unquestionably bad-ass.

Related Links:

What'd I Miss? Panzer Dragoon
Sega, Show Some Decency
Have You Seen This Xbox Game?

Vandal Hearts Resurrected, Has Terrible Character Art

John Constantine — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 22:00:00 GMT

You’d never suspect that, once upon a time, strategy RPGs were a rare and beautiful beast. Twelve years ago, you wouldn’t open a magazine and think, “Ah, yes, I see. This month there are thirteen different Game Boy games coming out from Namco, Square, Inis, Nippon Icchi, and Atlus that will allow me to train tiny warriors to walk across a colorful grid to slaughter evil beasts. Oh, look, there’s six more on Sony’s Playstation and nine more on Sega’s Saturn. Can’t wait to see next month’s haul. I’ll be moving across those grids and having fun until the sun goes out, by gum!” It just didn’t work like that. There were only a few of them. There was Tactic’s Ogre, which was made by Yasumi Matsuno. Then there was Final Fantasy Tactics which was, um, made by Yasumi Matsuno. But then there was Vandal Hearts, a dead ringer for Matsuno’s SRPGs that was, in fact, not made by Matsuno. It was one of Konami’s early Playstation/Saturn RPGs that, like its cousin Suikoden, could have easily been mistaken for a Super Nintendo game. It had its fans, but after one sequel it disappeared into videogame history. That’s why Konami’s announcement of a Xbox Live Arcade/Playstation Network prequel, Vandal Hearts: Flames of Judgment, is such a surprise. They showed off some of the game at their Gamer’s Night 2009 event and Vandal Hearts is looking pretty different ten years after its last installment. First, the game’s entirely polygonal now, with a much darker color palette than it had back in the day. Its character art also looks less like this:

And more like this:

Bleh.

Word is Vandal Hearts: Flames of Judgment is out on XBLA in August and PSN shortly thereafter. More snide commentary on the art style as we see it.

(Link: Siliconera)

Related links:

The 61FPS Review: Suikoden Tierkreis
PSOne on PSN: Somehow, it’s Suikoden
Beating the Dead Horse Who Has It Coming: Playstation Releases on PSN

Trailer Review: Bayonetta

John Constantine — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 21:00:00 GMT

You’d think that with time and experience and the accumulation of knowledge, a man would move past certain things. He’d start to develop more refined tastes that reflect a growing passion for life’s finer stuff. You’d think he’d exhibit a predilection for more metered explorations of the human experience, subtle meditations on adult relationships and history. You’d think that witches who have guns built into their shoes, who get naked while attacking monsters with their hair wouldn’t be the sort of thing that would interest him.

Nope. Bayonetta is about as cultured as I’m likely to get.

There’s a lot more of the game to chew on in this latest trailer. It’s the first decent look at the sort of play I got to see demoed back in January. I’ll say, though, it still doesn’t give a full impression of just how varied and fast combat in Bayonetta really is. There’s also a heaping spoonful of story, with two new characters spouting dialog that strongly recalls director Hideki Kamiya’s old cheese from Devil May Cry and Resident Evil 2. Also, Bayonetta can turn into a cougar. I guess that explains why she’s chasing after that young, good looking fella driving the car in front of her! You know. Because… she’s a cougar… um…

That is the worst joke I have ever made.

Previous Trailer Reviews:

Fez
Katamari Damacy Tribute
Behemoth’s Game #3
Muramasa – The Demon Blade
InFamous
Watchmen: The End is Nigh
Henry Hatsworth in the Puzzling Adventure
Dante’s Inferno is Looking Even More… Something
Machinarium
Mightier
Demon’s Souls
Final Fantasy XIII Looks Disturbingly Interesting
Priston Tale II: The 2nd Enigma
King of the Fighters XII
Edge
Dante's Inferno
Star Wars: The Old Republic
Resident Evil 5

In Defense of the QTE: Ninja Blade

John Constantine — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 23:00:00 GMT

Now that the man’s winding down his career, let us honor Yu Suzuki for his most important contribution to game design: the QTE. Hey now. I can hear you rolling your eyes. We might be sick of pressing the X button every single time Crystal Dynamics wants Lara Croft to kick a tiger with style, but the quick time event provides us with some of videogames’ most satisfying thrills. They aren’t inherently bad. They’re just implemented very, very poorly. This week, you’ll be able to walk out into the world and pick up a copy of From Software’s Ninja Blade. Hell, you can go home right now and download a demo of Ninja Blade just to have a taste. One level is all you need to exemplify just how good quick time events can be in a game.

Here’s why.

First, a definition. In God of War’s wake, “quick time event” has transformed from a noun into a sort of critics’ short hand. It’s a blanket term to describe when, in a game where you have direct control of a character, the normal control is taken away and you watch a unique or atypical animation. While the animation plays, you must press a specific button as prompted on the screen. If you don’t, you’ll have to replay the sequence. Now, there are many parts of modern games that can be described this way and not all of them are quick time events. For example, in action games like MadWorld and Yakuza 2, you’re prompted with special inputs — press X next to a car, swing the Wiimote down — to finish off enemies. The most colorful finishing moves have you stringing these inputs together. These are not quick time events. They’re contextual actions. A quick time event is a choreographed, dramatic sequence where prompts imitate an action that you do not have direct control over. Resident Evil 4 has some classic examples. You, the player, steer Leon to the top of a hill and move forward. The game then shifts the camera to a group of enemies on a cliff above you. They push a boulder off said cliff that chases you and to escape you repeatedly press a button, which keeps Leon running. That button has nothing to do with movement during regular play. If you don’t press it here, the game ends. That’s a quick time event. They can, and have, enrich games with emotionally charged moments the game wouldn’t have otherwise.

The chief argument against quick time events is that they pull you out of a game by stripping away control, if only partially. They’re gaudy cheats to mask the passive storytelling devices of film instead of relying on a game’s interactivity to inform its drama and incident. It’s a valid argument against bad quick time events. The most recent games starring the aforementioned Lara Croft, particularly Tomb Raider Legend, have terrible quick time events made up of sixty second cinematics halved by a single, easy to miss button press. When implemented well, though, a quick time event is anything but a mask for inactive game sequences, as in Quantic Dream’s Indigo Prophecy. The game allows you limited sequences of full character control, relying on quick time events with inputs that imply the action to make up most of the play. Lucas Kane is running from police officers and needs to dodge left so you’re prompted to press both analog sticks in that direction. You aren’t moving Lucas, but the movement of both sticks translates as urgency, and agency, for you. These QTEs are fast to match the pace of the game and end up making for affecting play because of their speed and mimicry of the action. That’s the key to QTE success; tying your input as close to possible to dramatic actions that are impossible to depict, or make interactive, in the game itself.

Ninja Blade’s first level is about half quick time events and they are incredible spectacles. The level ends with a fight against a giant, grotesque spider on top of a skyscraper. The first part of the fight is familiar three-dimensional action; you move around with the level analog stick and press X, Y, and B buttons on the Xbox 360 controller to slice and stab with a sword. The second part, after whittling down the spider’s defenses, has you riding the spider up a skyscraper before riding a wrecking ball across the night sky, and then crushing the spider with it. There isn’t a way in games to make this one-hundred percent interactive and retain its presentation. Not yet at least. So sequence is a quick time event, and through a mixture of rumble in the control, speed of button prompts, and inputs that approximate other actions in the normal game, it’s completely engaging.

Like I said, QTEs don’t damn a game. They’re just another tool. Quality depends on the craftsmen.

Related links:

Love-Hate: In Defense of the Cutscene
Overpowering the Flavor: Cooking Mama World Kitchen and Cutscene Clutter
Whatcha Playing: Weight of the Stone
Sonic Unleased: Worse Than Syphilis
Sega's Yu Suzuki Steps Down
Where is Yu Suzuki?

Sega's Yu Suzuki Steps Down

Bob Mackey — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 16:00:00 GMT

Yu Suzuki is perhaps one of Sega's biggest names; with titles like Out Run, Hang On, Virtua Fighter, and Shenmue under his belt, he's left his mark on the industry with some technically innovative and memorable video games. But since the Dreamcast failure/Sega-Sammy merger, he's been quiet in his role as the company's R&D creative officer--so quiet, in fact, that Sega of America CEO Simon Jeffrey once believed Suzuki was no longer employed by the company at all. He's since realized his mistake.

Jeffries' comment may have been a bit misinformed at the time, but with Friday's announcement that Yu Suzuki is indeed stepping down from his position at Sega, the company's American CEO may want to consider starting his own Psychic Friends Network.

According to GameSpot:

[T]his week Sega parent company Sega Sammy announced that the designer has stepped down--the publisher used the word "retired"--from his position as a R&D creative officer with the company. However, he isn't departing Sega entirely. A Sega of America representative confirmed for GameSpot that Suzuki will stay on with the publisher in a diminished capacity, continuing on as manager of the R&D department for Sega's AM Plus division. To date, AM Plus has released a pair of Japanese arcade games, the touchscreen fighter Psy Phi, and the character-driven racer Sega Race TV.

I'll admit that Suzuki's games never really appealed to me, but I've always felt some sort of sympathy towards him as Sega's own Gumpei Yokoi. Like Suzuki, Nintendo's Yokoi was an early (we're talking 1960s. here) innovator at Nintendo who found success in developing classic games like Metroid and, most importantly, the original Game Boy; but when the problematic Virtual Boy met with catastrophic failure in the mid-90s, all of his old successes were forgotten and he eventually resigned out of shame.

Suzuki never really left Sega, but his presence--as well as the Sega "house style"--was certainly lacking after Shenmue failed to meet the acclaimed developer's commercial ambitions. It's a little unfair to say that Shenmue killed Sega--given the state of the company at the time, it was really more of a final blow--but Suzuki's stature at the company had to change greatly after sinking so many millions into what was essentially a pet project with virtually no cross-cultural appeal.

All in all, Suzuki deserves a good, long retirement, but it would still be great to see something innovative from him in the future. That's what he does best, after all.

Related Links:

The Untold Story of Sega Killing Their Own Hardware Business
Sega, Show Some Decency
You’re Doing Great, Sega: Space Harrier Returns

Recession Gaming Deals: The 360 Arcade Pack-In

Bob Mackey — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 18:30:00 GMT

If you're anything like me, you probably don't have a lot of extra money to spend on entertainment. But the savvy among us know that it's not necessary to spend the standard $59.99 retail price of a new game to have fun. Everything from Steam's weekend deals to console digital download services prove that you don't have to go into debt to waste away a few afternoons. But sometimes, cutting out the middleman isn't always involved in finding amazing gaming deals; cheapskates are often welcome in the wonderful world of brick and mortar retail, as long as no one knows how truly poor we are.

Of course, I'm always looking to help fellow members of the lower-lower-class get their hands on some video games, which is exactly the point of this post. While browsing at my local non-GameStop retailer today (they exist), I stumbled upon quite a steal: a used copy of the compilation pack-in Microsoft's been bundling with their Arcade units. For only eight (!) dollars, I walked away with Sega Superstars Tennis, Pac-Man Championship Edition, Uno, Luxor 2, Feeding Frenzy, and Boom-Boom Rocket. Granted, some of these games are mediocre at best, but for a little more than a buck a piece, you really can't find a better deal. Check out your local GameStop or other used game store; this pack-in shouldn't cost you more than ten bucks.

Related Links:

How the Recession Will End the Wii’s Torrent of Sewage
The Perfect Recession Game: Tetoris
EA says, "Recession actually a good thing"

Sega, Show Some Decency

Bob Mackey — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 18:00:00 GMT

In the many years since Sega's fall from grace, we've seen the company systematically destroy every franchise we've ever held dear for the sake of profit at any cost. Really, the only series that are safe at this point are the ones that are simply too unpopular to bother exploiting. Rest assured, fans of Panzer Dragoon and Jet Set Radio, you are safe. Though, at this point, it wouldn't be too crazy to see Sega sink their greedy talons into franchises that never really had a chance; I honestly wouldn't be shocked if the company announced a Burning Rangers sequel with random dungeons and a snowboarding mini-game.

Because of the company's desperate status, Sega's had a rather spotty record lately. But one game has seemingly restored some dignity to once-great company: Valkyria Chronicles. In a world of lousy, misguided Sonic the Hedgehog games, it was a breath of fresh air to see a Miyazaki-inspired tactical RPG that brought to mind Dreamcast classics like Skies of Arcadia. Sega's reaction to this newly-restored dignity? "Let's make swimsuit-clad capsule toy versions of these great new characters!" That sound you just heard was the whole world shaking its head in shame.

This isn't exactly the biggest deal in the world; these are capsule toys, after all, so it's not like Sega is making intricate, expensive, and doubly creepy PVC models of these half-naked gals. We'll have to wait another few months to see those. But it's still a little depressing to see Sega whore out this new game so quickly; I don't know about you, but these figures don't make me too optimistic for the quality of a Valkyria Chronicles sequel--if such a thing could ever exist. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what new, fantastic way Sega's going to bungle what could have been an awesome franchise.

Special thanks to Silicon Era (via a link from the GameSpite Twitter) for the news.

Related Links:

The Untold Story of Sega Killing Their Own Hardware Business
Sega "Gets" the Wii
On Sega and the Proper Use of the Wii in 2009

The 61FPS Review - MadWorld

Derrick Sanskrit — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 15:00:00 GMT

First and foremost, let me say this: I loved just about every second of Platinum Games' debut title MadWorld. If you have a Wii and are even slightly interested in over-the-top violence, I say get the game as soon as you possibly can. If you enjoyed the Wii's reigning champ of hardcore tongue-in-cheek violence No More Heroes, you'll find a lot to love in MadWorld. If you're a fan of Clover Studio's past work, in particular Viewtiful Joe and God Hand, you will probably love MadWorld. If you are a fan of Frank Miller's Sin City and/or black comedy, you will absolutely have a blast with MadWorld.

Okay, now that that's out of the way, let's get into the nitty-gritty. We'll start with the good stuff. MadWorld is visually stunning, and like Super Mario Galaxy and World of Goo, another prime example of brilliant art direction in a Wii game that makes you forget the system is so much less powerful than the competition. Videos online do not do it justice, you really have to take the game home and play it in your living room to see how crisp and perfectly stylized the entire world and all of its inhabitants are. The story, believe it or not, is compelling and brilliantly paced, slowly but steadily revealing details about the Death Watch games, its organizers, protagonist Jack, and more through a mix of in-engine animation and static comic strip art cut scenes at the beginnings and ends of most stages. I'm very intentionally leaving out details in this write-up because the story (written by Vagrant Story and Final Fantasy XII's Yasumi Matsuno) was one of my favorite elements of the game and I would hate to spoil it for those who should really experience it themselves.

Gameplay, surprisngly, doesn't get old thanks to a healthy variety in environments, challenges, and kills and a steady increase in enemy AI. Most of the stages play out as arena-style battles where you keep killing waves of baddies, accumulating points to unlock a big boss fight, so in this regard MadWorld is very much like the aforementioned No More Heroes, and just like in that game, the boss fights are really worth fighting for, with zany characters and big quicktime-waggle-event-based payoffs. Especially in the boss fights (and the later arenas) the dodge maneuver of shaking the nunchuck will be your best friend for making it out alive. The Bloodbath Challenge mini-games keep the slaughter fresh and enaging with fun new ways to mass murder.

This brings me to, by far, my favorite part of MadWorld: the audio. From the whirr of Jack's chainsaw eminating from your wiimote to the sticky squish of blood splatter, sound effects go a long way to bringing you into this not-too-distant future decent into madness (supporting character Leo, a dead ringer for Platinum board member Shinji Mikami's Resident Evil 4 protagonist Leon Kennedy, is a hospital resident born in 1993, so unless he's Doogie Howzer this has to be at least a decade from now). The original hip-hop soundtrack sets the mood for murder perfectly with an air of style and self-worth. Jack is voiced by Steven Blum, whom you may recall is a general voice acting badass for his roles as Wolverine in the X-Men Legends and Ultimate Alliance games, as well as the new Wolverine and the X-Men animated series, hero Spike on the anime Cowboy Bebop, and various other tough-as-nails bastards in God of War, Killer 7, Dead Rising, No More Heroes, the upcoming Bionic Commando and tons of other games and animes involving massive death and destruction. The dude's got a pedigree in stone-cold badassery. Last, but absolutely not least are the Death Watch announcers, voiced by Greg Proops and John DiMaggio (Futurama's Bender). Their back-and-forth banter throughout the slaughter was always welcome and often hilarious. The occassional repeats ("I like to wash down my scotch with another glass of scotch!") are noticable only because of how memorable every line of their dialogue really is. Their spot-on slander of the game's production team has made MadWorld's end credits my favorite of the year so far (and I really thought Flower's were excellent). The one-two punch of the dialogue and the outrageously over-the-top violence made the game utterly hilarious. Even my visiting sister was entertained by the brutality and profanity. Be warned, though, I'm fairly certain you will hear the word "motherfucker" more than the word "the" in MadWorld.

Okay, so all of that is great, right? Now on to the not-so-great. The biggest qualm people will have is that the game is short. My save file read exactly four hours when I completed the normal difficulty (this does not include deaths, cinemas or quicktime events, as my Wii system memory counted nine hours by that point). Completing the game unlocks two new weapons and Hard Mode, plus the game is just fun, so there's plenty of enjoyment to be had in replaying it all, but still, the whole thing goes by very fast. All of the Bloodbath Challenge mini-games are available in multiplayer mode, but I would have loved to see these available as score attacks in single player too, as well as a cinema gallery so I could reexperience the whole story without having to fight my way through thugs, zombies, and goons for hours.

The multiplayer, while a fun and easy addition, also proved problematic. Players do not receive points for kills they achieve as in the single player Bloodbaths, but rather kills of specific characters. Player one gets points for thugs wearing bull masks, player two for thugs in geisha masks. It's very hard to tell one from another when they're all in black and white and half-size for split-screen, so you'll often rack up points for your opponent without realizing it, and there is no option to turn those masks off. Multiplayer for a stylized beat-em up should not involve paying that close attention to your targets.

Control-wise, the camera can be a bit frustrating at times, and locking onto enemies takes practice, but neither is game-breaking and the controls are otherwise solid. Quicktime events with bosses have the potential to wear you out from rapid waggling. I found I needed to take a break after every other stage for my muscles to relax again. Still, thirteen big crazy ranked boss battles is three more than No More Heroes had (including Henry), and the fact that they're all shorter fights is probably a good thing in most gamers' books.

All in all, I strongly recommend MadWorld to the mature Wii audience. The story is deep and rich, the gameplay is varied and visceral, the style and production are top-notch. Many worried the game would be too easy because enemies don't really attack much in the first few stages. Let me tell you, by the end of Normal mode, regular thugs are evading and blocking attacks, teaming up on you, and attacking you while you try to combo other baddies. Hard mode starts off there and keeps going up, crippling you with only one life, so challenge is there when you're ready for it. I'd love a few more options in play, but I will definitely replay again and again for bigger and badder kills, scores, and wicked laughs. The first game to come from Platinum, the quality really lives up to the studio's name and is at the very least worth a weekend rental. I very much look forward to the announcement of a MadWorld 2.

Final grade: B+

Previous Reviews:
Star Ocean: The Last Hope
Killzone 2
Noby Noby Boy - part 1 & part 2
Big Bang Mini
Retro Game Challenge
Edge
Game & Watch Collection
Valkyria Chronicles part 1 & part 2
Karaoke Revolution Presents American Idol Encore 2
Prince of Persia
LittleBigPlanet part 1, part 2
Dead Space
LOL
Dragon Quest IV
Ninja Gaidan 2 part 1 & part 2
Metal Gear Solid 4 part 1 & part 2
Wii Fit
Grand Theft Auto IV part 1, part 2 & part 3

Dr. Spock vs. The Watchmen vs. Terminator: The New Movie Tie-In

John Constantine — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Nostalgia, as Cole’s post on the ever-ubiquitous Final Fantasy VII so deftly illustrated, is a disease afflicting games criticism. It’s understandable why. The people writing about games today (not to mention the majority of people making them) came of age during videogames’ golden age. It’s no wonder fond memories color their perception of the entire medium. Nostalgia isn’t always a bad thing, especially when it inspires creativity. Just look at Bionic Commando Rearmed. But as Luc Sante says, “Nostalgia can be defined as a state of inarticulate contempt for the present and fear of the future.”

Me, I love the future. I’m a ceaseless optimist, fueled by the promise of tomorrow, I am. When I feel the symptoms of nostalgia (itchiness, aquaphobia, uncontrollably defending Battletoads, frothing at the mouth) taking over my brain, I remember movie tie-ins. I think about going to Pompey Video and plunking down four dollars to subject myself to The Rocketeer on NES. I think about buying Die Hard Trilogy as one of my first Playstation games. Then I vomit and, like an exhausted drunk, I feel a little bit better.

The movie tie-in is changing though. While you still see trash like Secret Level’s Iron Man game making millions, the big budget retail rush job isn’t the guaranteed success it used to be. Iron Man may have been a hit for Sega and Secret Level (providing the cash flow to finish the giant flop Golden Axe: Beast Rider), but The Incredible Hulk tie-in, released by Sega just a few months later, sold about as well as cans of Coke II. It isn’t just brand strength and high cost that makes tie-ins a greater risk. Against all odds, standards of quality are going up for consumers. Rather than release another over-budget bad game that fails like Superman Returns, EA decided to kill their The Dark Knight tie-in.

Warner Bros. Interactive, on the other hand, is trying two different strategies. The first is an economical twist on the old formula. The Watchmen: The End is Nigh, released just last week on PSN and Xbox Live to universally awful reviews, is the image of a traditional movie tie-in; a generic, artless beat ‘em up with familiar characters tacked on. This isn’t a success yet, but it was cheap to make and even cheaper to distribute. It’s a smart move that delivers the game directly to its intended audience — I’d wager the marketing speech describes them as “hip, techno-savvy hipster neo-nerds with strong brand familiarity” or something equally grotesque — and keeps the game away from retail competition. Now Paramount Interactive is seemingly following suit with their Star Trek tie-in.

Warner Bros.’ second approach is a bit more interesting. In the next two months, they’re publishing two full retail games, Wanted: Weapons of Fate and Terminator Salvation. Both games are being developed by GRIN, of Bionic Commando fame, and are built on the very same engine. Both are prequels, foregoing the constraints of movie plot adaptation, allowing the developer more creative leeway with the license. They are also both aimed to be short, around eight hours long a piece. By handing the games to a respected, proven developer, utilizing that developers pre-existing technology, Warner Bros.’ is trying to give their games a fighting chance in a competitive field by ensuring they have a modicum of quality. They’re acknowledging that their audience won’t put up with crap.

The future’s a brave new world, ain’t it? I don’t know if these new experiments in movie tie-in games will finally break the thirty-year old history of forgettable garbage, but it’s a start. And, dare I say, it shows a sign of maturity in the business of videogames. Not just in selling them, but in the demands of the people playing and making them.

Related links:

Design Resurrection: How Capcom Finally Proved That It’s Game and Not Graphics That Matters
Curveball: Hands-On With Wanted: Weapons of Fate
Maybe You Should Just Watch Them: Hands-On With Watchmen

Dear Virtual Console: No More Alex Kidd Games, Please

Bob Mackey — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:00:00 GMT

It's incredibly easy to bitch about Virtual Console, especially when you consider all of the notable games currently missing from Nintendo's digital download service. We're nearly two-and-a-half years into the life of the Wii, and still, no Yoshi's Island, no Majora's Mask, and no Earthbound. Yes, I went there; and I'd go back again if I had to. The absence of games that desperately need to be made available to Wii owners only becomes more tragic on the weeks when, like a turd sliding down the leg of a homeless man, the powers that be decide to release titles that should never be remembered, even in disgust. Ladies and gentlemen, with this week's selection of Alex Kidd: The Lost Stars, we are coming dangerously close to having the tracksuit-wearing monkey-boy's entire catalog available to a contemporary audience, and that ain't right.

To be fair, the whole Alex Kidd thing started with good intentions: he was originally intended to be Sega's answer to Mario (hey, video games are a cutthroat business). But for some reason, no one really gave much of a damn about the little freak; this was either due to the dismal sales of Sega's Master System in the USA or the fact that Sega of America's box art for Kidd's games often depicted him as a chubby, freckled child--and no one wants to see that. This would all be very, very tragic, if not for one important truth: all of Alex Kidd's games were terrible. And if you happen to like any of them, you are undoubtedly the victim of Stockholm Syndrome brought on by distracted parents who couldn't tell an NES from a hole in the ground. You know, for as much as I liked to fool around with that Master System demo unit at a local department store in the 80s (a now-defunct chain known as Hills), I always let my folks know that it was either Nintendo or the highway. Thankfully, they complied.

I have no idea how Virtual Console games are selected for release, but I can't help but feel that this whole Alex Kidd may be sort of conspiracy by Sega to somehow make Sonic the Hedgehog look much more competent. After all, Sonic basically took Alex's job; so what better way to make the new guy look better by showing how bad things used to be? I'd certainly rather play Sonic Unleashed than Alex Kidd: The Lost Stars. I'd also do other comically exaggerated things which would result in self-injury instead of playing anything featuring Alex Kidd--and for the record, I nearly typed Sonic the Hedgehog instead of the big-eared freak's name back there. So I guess my point with all of this is that all of Sega's franchise characters should suffer a painful death, regardless of whether they've seen any action in the past 20 years. And with that, I'm off to start an Internet petition. Thank you for your time.

Related Links:

The Untold Story of Sega Killing Their Own Hardware Business
You’re Doing Great, Sega: Space Harrier Returns
Creator of Sonic the Hedgehog Returns: Sega and Prope Making Game For Penguins

Watcha Playing: Sonic Unleashed (Wii) and Sega's Design Difficulties

Amber Ahlborn — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 14:00:00 GMT

First an admonishment to Sonic fans. Granted, my observations are limited mostly to message board comments, but it seems to me that there is a certain segment of the Sonic fandom that will absolutely not be happy with Sonic unless he is running at high speed around loop-the-loops. Imagine if Mario fans turned their backs on the character every time he tried something different, and demanded that he stick to stomping on goombas. I admit I'm an outsider who's never been a Sonic fan, but I almost feel sorry for the little blue insectivore to be so hobbled, like a character actor forever doomed to reprise a signature role.

I've read reviews for Sonic Unleashed that were positive about the daytime stages where Sonic was doing his running thing and panned the night stages where Sonic transformed into his wolfish alter ego and engaged in a more platform and combat heavy play style. Honestly, I don't see the problem here. I like the werehog stages. Sonic controls pretty well in both forms and the game play is smooth. I'm really not a fan of the classic Sonic games but I have dabbled in them. I remember sampling a bit of Sonic 1 and 2, and seeing some of 3 played. Shockingly, the games did not focus entirely on running fast. There are slow stages with platform jumping and other stuff. When I hear the demands to return Sonic to classic form and just have him run fast, I wonder what games people are talking about.

When you get to play the various stages in Sonic Unleashed, be it with normal Sonic or werehog, the experience is solid. I certainly had fun with it. Unfortunately, the opportune word here is “when” you play, and here is my biggest complaint. The game is heavily segmented, with a whole lot of nothing between the stages which are mostly short and go by very quickly. There are a pile of tutorial stages at the start that are broken up into sections so brief the load screens lasted longer. Plus there are pointless, but apparently required, conversations with NPCs. By conversations, I mean you click on a village map screen and see an illustration of a person, read a bit of useless dialog, then click on some other random spots until you get the actual stage to open up. This is truly awful pacing, breaking to bits a game that would be so much more enjoyable if it was just allowed to flow continuously along.

It's not just Sonic Unleashed that suffers from this run away segmentation. I had the exact same problem when I played NiGHTS. Heck, It was even present to a lesser extent in Sonic and the Secret Rings. I'll be watching for it showing up in Sonic and the Black Knight when I eventually play that game.

I think the development team did a nice job polishing up Sonic Unleashed, and the werehog stages are enjoyable, so long as you aren't the type of gamer who throws a fit of Sonic isn't running at all times. But, Sega really needs to improve the flow of these games. If after an hour I've only actually played a couple stages while I've seen 7 loading screens and pushed through pages of pointless filler dialog, then there is something fundamentally wrong with the design.

Related Links:

Sonic Unleashed is Filled With Lies

Sonic Unleashed's Silver Lining

Watcha Playing?: Spelunky

Namco, Why You Gotta Make Me Hit You: Sonic Co-Creator’s Unnecessary Pac-Man “Comeback”

John Constantine — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 00:30:00 GMT

Namco has hired Hirokazu Yasuhara to create a new Pac-Man to celebrate the little yellow glutton’s 30th anniversary in 2010. Namco chief of operations Makoto Iwai told Gamasutra that they’re making the game as a comeback vehicle for Pac-Man, to try and make him a relevant icon in today’s game market. When it comes to making great character-based games, you can’t do much better than Yasuhara. Yuji Naka’s gotten most of the glory, but Yasuhara was the real brains behind Sonic the Hedgehog’s glory days. He acted as director for the original Sonic trilogy on Genesis, was lead designer for Sonic 3 and Sonic & Knuckles, and headed up Sonic’s unfinished Saturn debut, Sonic Extreme. After leaving Sega, he joined Naughty Dog and acted as a designer for Jak 2 and 3 as well as Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune. That right there is a flawless pedigree, a veritable trail of excellence blazed across a decade and a half.

Why in the hell has this man been hired to make Pac-Man relevant again when Pac-Man’s creator already did just that two years ago? Someone please tell me how it makes sense to hire one of the best platformer designers of all time to make a freaking Pac-Man game? History has shown that a Pac-Man platformer is a terrible, terrible idea. Did Namco somehow forget Pac-Land? How about Pac-Man 2: The New Adventures or the Pac-Man World games? Is this selective memory or just idiocy? To quote one Tycho Brahe, which is it Namco? Assholes or retards? You don’t commemorate a game’s anniversary by making a game that is fundamentally different than the source material. I’m happy to hear Yasuhara’s getting more work, but this is a silly waste of a valuable resource.

Truth is I’m only angry about this is because of what a fantastic game Toru Iwatani’s Pac-Man Championship Edition is. It is the definitive version, and it perfectly modernized the 1980 classic in both presentation and play. You want to celebrate the 30th anniversary? Make an updated version of CE. You want to do something worthwhile with a talent like Yasuhara, Namco, you let him make you a brand new game.

God damn Pac-Land. Just listen to that music. That’s what hell sounds like.

Related links:

WAKA, WAKA: Pac-Man Championship Made Old School-er
Yeah, But Is It Art?: Pac-Man Championship Edition
Burn Your Skin for Pac-Man
Ms. Pac-Man: Feminist Champion

Watcha' Playing: NiGHTS Journey of Dreams

Amber Ahlborn — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 15:00:00 GMT

I'm on jury duty. Yep, I've been doing my civic duty since last week which means I've been going to the court house instead of work. I really did not want to get picked for jury duty but it's actually kind of nice. The experience is rather interesting and the hours are rather short, especially since I don't have to drive my typical 45 minute commute. I've been taking advantage of the extra time by digging into my backlog and pulling out a game I've had for months: NiGHTS Journey of Dreams.

As an old Nintendo fangirl, I never owned a Sega console, certainly never owned a Saturn. I do remember playing a little of the original NiGHTS on a demo station and watching friends play it, but really, the Wii game is my first serious experience with this franchise.

Footage of NiGHTS into Dreams for the Sega Saturn.

I really like the whimsical character and level designs, but I don't like how rough things look. Rough is actually the optimal word to describe most everything about this game. It looks a bit rough and plays the same. The basic concept for the game play is very relaxing but the count down timer, lack of visual and control polish, and some poor level layouts work against the easy going enjoyment I'd like to gain from this title.

NiGHTS Journey of Dreams for the Nintendo Wii.

I really wasn't a fan of the two children's stories or how the game dumps you back into the hub world after each mission, even though it seems to play in a purely linear fashion. Let's just go straight to the next mission and cut out a few loading screens says I. Last on my list of complaints deals with the controls. You have the choice of using the Wii's pointer (which felt imprecise to me), the Classic Controller, and the remote with nunchuck duo. I went with the last option but it was hardly perfect. Sometimes my little flying jester seemed to have a mind of his own. This was especially infuriating in the final battle when, for no apparent reason, NiGHTS would fly in the opposite direction I wanted him to go.

In spite of all of my complaining, the game has its moments. It is fun to fly around, the worlds are quite lovely, and the boss fights ... well, the boss fights look really cool but otherwise are a mixed bag. It can be hard to figure out what you need to do and that miserable count down timer adds an unwelcome element of frustration, doubled by having to repeat an entire level just to replay the boss if you fail.

I wanted to like this game a lot more than I did. I think there's a great concept here, but like Sega's other notable mascot, NiGHTS doesn't quite live up to his potential.

Related Links:

Sega "Gets" the Wii

Watcha Playing: Geometry Wars Galaxies

Whatcha Playing: Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (Again)

Miami Law: Welcome Back Victor Ireland of Working Designs

John Constantine — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 01:05:00 GMT

Somehow I missed Victor Ireland’s re-emergence last December. I shouldn’t be too surprised. It might be big news to me, but the return of a niche industry icon best remembered by a handful of geeks for his American localizations of niche videogames ten years ago isn’t exactly Edge Online headline news material. It’s sidebar at best.

For everyone reading who doesn’t smile when they hear the word Alundra, here’s the score. Victor Ireland co-founded Working Designs. After opening in 1986, Working Designs was one of the only publishers in the Western world devoted to localizing strange Japanese games, particularly those JRPG things we enjoy so much here at 61FPS. Working Designs translations tended to be a bit strange, littered with juvenile humor and American pop culture references. They serviced a very small audience; not only were they putting out games in an unpopular genre, they had a habit of releasing them for doomed consoles like the Turbo-Grafx 16, Turbo CD, Sega CD, and Sega Saturn.

Working Design’s golden age was when they started releasing Playstation games at the end of the 1990s. Now that there was a growing market for Japanese games, the publisher was able to put out some extravagant packages. (Most notably the PS1 releases of Lunar, Lunar 2, and the Arc the Lad Collection. They all game with cloth maps, hardbound instruction manuals, and even zany bonuses like boxing puppets.) By the time the Playstation 2 came around though, Working Designs was in decline. They released three games for PS2 and shut their doors in 2005. Irleand put an impassioned statement on the company homepage which you can read here. In 2006, he opened a new publishing house called Gaijinworks and then promptly disappeared into the ether.

Today, Vic and Gaijinworks are finally on the map for real. Their first game, a Hotel Dusk-style DS adventure called Miami Law, is currently being developed for America by Hudson in Japan. It’s the perfect cultural stew, considering the man’s history. I’m psyched he’s back.

(Link: Joystiq)

Related links:

Where is Victor Ireland?
FMV Hell: Lunar, The Silver Star
Sega CD on iPhone: I Like Where This Is Going
The One That Got Away: Arc the Lad

Virtual-On and On: Oratorio Tangram Resurrected on Xbox Live Arcade

John Constantine — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 22:30:00 GMT

I’m not sure that the videogame fan’s fetish for promotional and limited edition hardware is much of a problem. Most people just love having stuff. Some folks are into shoes. I’m not talking about people who hang out at Footlocker waiting for a fresh shipment of Lebron Signatures. I mean there’s a whole freaky subculture of people who collect and buy custom made sneakers designed by graffiti artists. They spend thousands of dollars on pairs of sneakers. Sneakers they already have. Those sneakers look different than their other sneakers. The things you learn watching Entourage, I tell you…

The gamer’s most disturbing predilection is his unceasing devotion to brand. Nothing gets our blood going like the latest sequel, remake, or re-release. It isn’t just nostalgia, that ready scapegoat for franchise excitement. The iterative nature of game design (and business) has simply made us gluttons for the familiar. We are addicts for the names we know being followed by ever increasing numerals and for the inevitable resurrection of classic milieus.

I’m feeling particularly guilty about it today. When it came out last night that Sega’s Virtual-On Oratorio Tangram was getting re-released on Xbox Live Arcade I damn near wet my pants. I’m a sucker, what can I say.

Virtual-On, so ya know, is a game that has you controlling angular, bi-pedal robots in single combat. These fights take place in large arenas, allowing you to run, leap, shoot, stab and strafe at high speeds. Your goal is to make another robot blow up. Discerning 61FPS readers may recall my writing a surreal devotional to Sega’s robot fighting game just a few weeks back, so the announcement that the series definitive arcade entry, Oratorio Tangram v.5.66, is coming home made me doubly giddy. There isn’t much to report. It isn’t confirmed the XBLA version will even release outside of Japan and it’s guaranteed Sega won’t be making a new twin-stick controller just to accommodate rabid devotees. Who cares though?! HD ORATORIO TANGRAM!

(Much love to duckroll for letting US citizens know about Weekly Famitsu’s latest news)

Related Links:

Screen Test: Battle Rage
This is the Reason Why Gamers Aren't Taken Seriously
The Mega Man Robot Club

Up All Night: X-Blades and the D-List Preservation Society

John Constantine — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

“We need new pornos!” – “Spaghetti Western” by Primus

Les Claypool was right. We do need new pornos. We need new trashy entertainment that borders on the pornographic. It’s essential. No, seriously. Come back. For all my highfalutin talk about the creative potency of games, I relish those games that might be a little base. A little crass. Sometimes, those games are terrible. That’s a good thing.

I’ve been suffering a weird fascination with Gaijin Games’ X-Blades ever since it first popped up on Kotaku way back in November 2007, when it went by the name Oniblade. Its origins got me curious. There are hundreds of games out there that, even if you’re a rabid fanboy or a member of the press, you’ll never hear about. Korean MMOs, unlicensed Brazilian Genesis games, and, yes, weird action games from the Eastern Block; it’s impossible to follow everything. There’s just too much. So when something like X-Blades, some Russian paean to Japanese action games, pops its head far enough out of the ground you take notice. Especially when it’s coming out for consoles notorious for exorbitant development costs and marketing budgets.

What’s it like to actually play? It’s pretty terrible to be honest. X-Blades’ heritage as a PC game made on a budget shines through in long load times, complete with the sort of little spinning icon in the middle of the boot screen from the good ol’ days of Hexen. The camera sits right on protagonist Ayumi’s pantsless behind and it never bothers itself with following the action. When you move said camera to try and get a look at things that might be attacking you, it just stays wherever you leave it. The game controls well-enough, but it’s about as deep as your average SNES beat ‘em up. One button for every action and that’s that. X-Blades is more or less exactly what it looks like in that old trailer: a bootleg. A Trasnmorphers to your Transformers, if you will. And I love that it exists.

The Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 don’t see a whole lot of games like X-Blades. That’s not to say that they don’t have their fair share of bad games. They have those in spades. What you don’t see, though, is D-List games. Games destined for the bargain bin, far from best-of and best-seller lists. They’re curios remembered by the scant few that played them. Not every game on a console needs to be budgeted with millions of dollars in the attempt to have the next platinum seller. This is the difference between, say, Sega’s Golden Axe: Beast Rider and X-Blades. Both are action games starring women built for thirteen-year-old wank fantasies, but one of these games cost far more to make than the other. Just because you’re making a game for the highest end technology doesn’t mean that it has to utilize all of it. The low-development cost D-List game is a time-honored tradition in the medium. Where would we be without D3’s Simple 2000 series? We’d be in a world without Zombies vs. Ambulances, that’s where.

61 Frames Per Second salutes you, X-Blades. We salute Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers. Hell, we salute Ninjabread Man on Wii. We salute the D-List. You may be terrible games, but we love you just the way you are. You are why Up All Night exists.

Related links:

Up All Night: Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe
Up All Night: Doritos Dash of Destruction
Up All Night: Blackthorne
Up All Night With Jaleco: Never the Best, But Never Forgotten
X-Blades and the Cultural Uncanny Valley

Sonic's Secret Past

Bob Mackey — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 22:15:00 GMT

The ins and outs of Sonic the Hedgehog continuity have mostly been a mystery to all but the most insane fans of the franchise, mainly because Sonic's story really hasn't been all that consistent over time. We've gone from a little blue dude running on checkerboard-patterned dirt to emo inter-species love stories without any explanation as to just how this drastic change makes any sense whatsoever; and let's not forget about the multiple cartoon series and Archie Comics that make pinning down one true story of Sonic nigh impossible.

But from the character's very inception, he did have his own "bible," which is essentially a guide to ensure that the Sonic characters, as well as the setting they exist in, remain consistent regardless of who's handling the property. Over time, the mishandlers of the Sonic franchise have veered very, very far away from what the universe is supposed to be; but, thanks to some leaked documents from a NEOGaf user aptly named TheSonicRetard, confused gamers worldwide can catch a glimpse of Sega's intentions for Sonic from day one.

From the NeoGAF thread itself, here's TheSonicRetard's explaination of just what these newly-discovered documents contain:

So Dean Sitton (The guy who came up with the name Dr. Robotnik, level designer for Chakan the Forever man, the dude from the kid chameleon box art) comes through again. As a former SOA employee, he was given a "Sonic the Hedgehog" bible to help localize the game with. This is never-before-seen stuff recently released out of the kindness of his heart. What these are, are guides sega put out intending to be the absolute source on sonic the hedgehog so there would be hegemony in marketting. Every franchise goes through stuff like this, but it's rare that they get leaked to the public.

The most entertaining of all these documents has to be the rough draft of the story, where Sonic spends most of his life as a poor-but-proud Nebraskan named Sonny who spends a good deal of his time pranking bowling alley patrons. There's still a tiny chance that this could all be a hoax, but it's damned hilarious reading in the meantime. Thanks to the Retronauts Twitter for the tip.

Related Links:

On Sega and the Proper Use of the Wii in 2009
Sonic Unleashed is Filled With Lies
The Untold Story of Sega Killing Their Own Hardware Business

Fez May Finally Be More Than a Totally Sweet Demo

John Constantine — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

For awhile there back in 2007, it was looking like blending 2D and 3D in a single game was going to be a bonafide trend. Super Paper Mario was the highest profile experiment in dimensional puzzle solving, but it was Zoe Mode’s overlooked Crush that really demonstrated the lasting potential of the new genre. Shifting the levels between sidescrolling, overhead 2D, and full 3D made for some inspired level design and hair-pullingly difficult puzzles. When the Independent Games Festival rolled around at the beginning of 2008, it looked like the 2D-3D mash-up was finally going to have its masterpiece in Polytron’s Fez. Fez mixed the same sort environment manipulation from Crush with deliciously retro graphics and sound. It looked awesome. Then it disappeared. I was sad.

Gaming gods be praised! Fez re-emerged, like a glorious sleepy groundhog signalling an early spring of sunshine and raw joy! Polytron posted up a new screen on their homepage. As you can see, something wonderful is about to be happy and it sounds like that something wonderful is a release announcement. Not only that, but the conspicuous green A button in the message seems to indicate that Fez will be hitting Xbox Live Arcade. Nothing’s confirmed yet, but this is swell news.

I must have you and your delightful 2D-3D wares, Fez.

(Link: Infinite Lives)

Related links:

Indie Dev Moment: Gravity Bone
Indie Dev Moment: Hunted Forever
Indie Dev Moment: Virtual Silence and the Art of Discomfort
Indie Dev Moment: The Glory of Thunder Lizards, Speed, and Extinction

WTFriday: Sega's Turd Polish

Bob Mackey — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 17:00:00 GMT

Note to readers: WTFriday is a weekly feature where I find something stupid about video games and get you to laugh until it goes away. Please try to forget this is what I normally do every day of the week.

You'll have to excuse me for returning once again to the 90s promotional video well for this week's WTFriday; I can't help the fact that said well is seemingly bottomless. But to tell the truth, there's also something about the production quality of these promos that amuses me to no end; it's almost as if the multi-million dollar marketing teams I assume they paid to put these things together only had one idea written on a whiteboard in giant letters: "MTV-STYLE EDITING." So I guess it's more than fitting that such a worthless, gimmicky editing technique was applied to a video about the worthless, gimmicky console add-on known as the 32X. Yes, I went there; and I don't think anyone really minds, because the world's only 32X fan is as elusive as Bigfoot himself. But wherever this mysterious creature is, you can bet he has a constant loop of this running in his cave.

Fun fact: a girl once asked me if I was 32Xing yet, though I'm pretty sure she was just trying to sell me drugs.

Related Links:

WTFriday: S****ing With Fear: Not Just a Symptom of Colon Cancer
WTFriday: Dragon Quest Crotch Buddies
WTFriday: The Splash Woman Rap

NYCC 2009 - Sega <3s Wii

Derrick Sanskrit — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 18:30:00 GMT

The Wii was big at New York Comic-Con. While I didn't actually keep count, it seemed like there were more Wii controllers set up at game booths than any other type of controller. Nowhere was this more apparent than at Sega, who always had a huge crowd, put on quite the show, and had exactly four games on display, all of which are Wii-exclusive.

Here now is our exclusive developer commentary video, featuing Denny Chu for House of the Dead: Overkill, Eric Nofsinger for The Conduit, and Elvin Gee for Sonic & the Black Knight:

Noticably absent from this video is Platinum Games' MadWorld. This is in no way a dig at the game, because I had a lot of fun with it in my playthrough and it was clearly the most in-demand game of the bunch with long lines for the four machines set up to play MadWorld all weekend long. I concur with John's earlier statements that the section demoed was sort of shallow and repetitive, but it was just a demo and set-up for the Comic-Con crowd who don't really have the time to think up big kills or play through more complicated areas. I did pull of one kill that seemed to impress the Sega guys – slamming a tire around a thug, driving a signpost into his face, then picking up another guy and throwing him into the poor signposted-and-tire'd thug, knocking them both into the spinning blades of an industrial fan. More time with the game would give a better impression of whether it's great or dull, but my experience was decidedly positive and I look forward to trying some more to refine my opinion.

House of the Dead: Overkill (which is in stores this week) played great, but where it really shone was in its presentation. The grindhouse aesthetic is everywhere. It's inescapable in the very best kind of way. Overkill seems like it would be an excellent way to spend an evening with the dudes, taking out zombies two-at-a-time. There were unfortunately a few framerate glitches here and there, but nothing that will ultimately detract from the gameplay. If you like House of the Dead, Overkill is probably the best version yet.

The Conduit didn't initially impress me during my playthrough because it did everything I expected it to. As I thought about it later, though, I started getting really excited. I'm not much of an FPS player, and the controls felt like second-nature to me. My assistant Dan, however, plays a lot of FPSes on XBox and he also jumped right in, plowing through aliens like he'd been doing it his whole life. The enemy AI was generally responsive and resourceful. Textures and lighting looked great. Everything just felt right, and we didn't even try to customizable HUD (though I accepted Eric's challenge to someday play with all the elements in the center of the screen). Dan and I agreed, The Conduit could win frat boys over from Halo and Gears of War if only they'd try it. Sega, market this game well. Everyone else, buy The Conduit. I'm serious. I don't even like FPSes that much, and I'm going to buy The Conduit.

Sonic & the Black Knight is a new 3D Sonic skewing towards the younger set. The two levels and two boss battles I played through didn't offer much in the way of platforming or variety, but it still looked great and played well. I got a bit of waggle-fatigue during the dragon boss fight, but it was still fun. The Storybook series are still the most enjoyable console Sonic games since the Dreamcast days, just be aware that if you remember waiting for Sonic 2 to come out on Genesis like I do, you're probably not going to enjoy this one as much as you'd like.

Related articles:
NYCC 2009 - A Brief Overview of Games
NYCC 2009 - DC Universe Online
MadWorld: Actually A Pretty Even-Keeled World
Sega "Gets" the Wii

Mario and Sonic Coming To Canada

Nadia Oxford — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 04:30:00 GMT

I guess I'm still a child at heart, because earlier today I was all, “Oh wow, Sonic and Mario are coming to Canada!”

When the Pope or the Queen comes to Canada, it's like, eh, who gives a toss. But fictional video game mascots? I am so honoured.

I'm also a little sore. Mario and Sonic at the Winter Games (unofficial title) will be taking place in Vancouver, most likely because that's where the 2010 Winter Games will be occurring. Toronto just barely lost the 2008 Summer Games to Beijing, which is where Mario and Sonic first went head-to-head in the kind of foot race we dreamed about as children.

(According to sales figures, they're still running that foot race on a track paved with dollar bills. Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games remains a top-seller for the Wii.)

So, Mario and Sonic won't be visiting my 'hood, but I can still appreciate the fact that they're visiting my home country. It's a familiar breed of resignation that comes with living in a city that hasn't won the Stanely Cup in over fifty years. When the season builds and the Leafs are inevitably evicted to the golf course yet again, you just hope some Canadian city takes it and not a warm-weather American town that doesn't know “ice hockey” from dwarf tossing.

Speaking of hockey, I imagine that might be included in the Winter Games. Mario and Sonic won't be running foot races, but someone will get smeared against the boards. It's going to be classic.

If that's not an exciting prospect, keep in mind that the Winter Games mean Curling.

Curling with Sonic.

Go'wan and get yourself a change of underwear, boy.

Sonic the Hedgehog: I'm Just Not That Into You
Trailer Review: Sonic Unleashed
Mario Will Not Retire. He Will Outlive Us All.

Screen Test: Battle Rage

John Constantine — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 23:00:00 GMT

I miss you, Virtual On. We used to have some good times together. Whenever I see a giant robot blowing up another giant robot, I think of your shimmering façade and the delightful competitions we engaged in, oh so long ago. Do you think of me too, Virtual On? Do you imagine us, twin-sticks in hand, trading shots across sun-drenched battlegrounds, strafing about one another with our hearts on our sleeves? Or have you forgotten our love, drowned beneath a thousand closed arcades and forgotten console ports? When I look at Battle Rage, I think of you, and wonder if I can find comfort in the arms of another.

*ahem*

Up until a few hours ago, I had never even heard of Battle Rage. If the screens don’t make it clear, Battle Rage is a Wii game about giant robots beating the crap out of each other. It’s made by Polish studio Destan and it reminds me a lot of Virtual On, almost entirely because of the similarity between the robot in the following shot and Temjin.

*sigh*

Thing is, the game actually looks, graphically speaking, pretty swell. Those are some shiny robots. Battle Rage is coming out in just a couple of weeks, published by Data Design Interactive. DDI is famous for award-winning, artistic triumphs on Wii like Kidz Sports: Crazy Mini Golf and Farmyard Party. In the event that I find myself wistful, drunk, and in a Gamestop on February 20th, I may end up playing this.

Actually, I think these screens may be of the PC version. I wonder what the Wii version looks like.

Previous Screen Tests:

Ghostbusters
Duke Nukem Forever
Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
Takahashi’s Nobi Nobi Boy
Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe
Oboro Muramasa
Fable 2
Final Fantasy Dissidia
Fragile
Final Fantasy Versus XIII
Silent Hill Homecoming
Fallout 3
Alone in the Dark
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

Let’s Tap Comes to America, Brings Amazing Theme Song With It

John Constantine — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 05:00:00 GMT

Yuji Naka would like to remind that you should not, under any circumstances, call it a comeback. He has been here for years, spending his precious hours rocking his peers and putting various suckers in fear. The creator of Sonic the Hedgehog, producer of Nights and Burning Rangers is going to take this itty bitty world by storm. Have no doubt that he is just getting warm.

Yes, Naka and his new studio Prope (pronounced Pro-pay) are bringing their family-style mini-game collection Let’s Tap to North America. Its wacky little box too. If you haven’t heard of Let’s Tap before, it’s understandable. The game hasn’t gotten too much press since its announcement last September or even after its December release in Japan. Check this trailer for the awesomest theme song in history.

Here’s the score: Let’s Tap is a four-player mini-game collection with five modes. The entire game is played by placing the Wii remote face down on a cardboard box (or any flat surface really) and tapping on the box. The least game-like of the modes is a visualizer; tap on the box and watch fireworks explode over a weird cityscape or see ripples wave across a pool of water. Silent Blocks is similar to Jenga and Rhthym Tap is not unlike Taiko Drum Master. The meatiest modes of the bunch are Tap Runner and Bubble Voyager. Runner is a sprint-race and obstacle course mode that’s far more visually and aurally appealing than it has any right to be. The trailer above really doesn’t do it justice, there’s just something hypnotic about it. Bubble Voyager is a sidescroller. You tap to keep your titular character – a classic little Naka character if there ever was one – afloat and to avoid obstacles.

I sat in on a demo of the fireworks visualizer, Tap Runner, and Bubble Voyager. The visualizer was certainly attractive, almost like a level of Rez you just float above instead of travel through, but it didn’t look like something you would ever try more than once. Both Tap Runner and Bubble Voyager looked fun, but really must be played with a group to get the most out of.

I’m ecstatic they’re bringing it to America but I’m not sure how successful Let’s Tap will be for Sega. The core gamer market will be interested in Let’s Tap based on Naka’s name alone, but the game is very light on content, not to mention devoid of a significant single player mode. Since Prope and Sega haven’t added any additional modes to the North American version, the game will be an even harder sell if it releases above a budget price. The other hurdle is getting it out to casual gamers and families. The games are simple and I can imagine them being addictive in a group setting, but the game’s abstract visuals just aren’t what the mainstream Wii audience looks for. I’ll be picking it up no matter what, but I’m a videogame fanatic. I’m not sure who else will.

Related links:

Creator of Sonic the Hedgehog Returns: Sega and Prope Making Game For Penguins
Tales of The Focus Group: Peter Moore Takes No Guff
On Sega and the Proper Use of the Wii in 2009

The Conduit: High Voltage’s Refined Take on Gaming Comfort Food

John Constantine — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 22:00:00 GMT

There are a lot of videogames about shooting mean things from space. Sometimes you’re shooting them in space or on the dreary planet from whence they came. Sometimes you’re shooting them in a recognizable city from our planet. Usually, you are allowed to turn their war tools against them. The mean things from space have three stock forms: the beast, the inhuman bi-ped, and the faceless, armored/exoskeletoned mystery (this last variety also covers robots.) The shooting-things-from-outer-space model is the chicken of game recipes, a flavorless, ubiquitous ingredient that is made spectacular only through delicate flavoring. At first blush, High Voltage’s The Conduit looks like grilled chicken breast: you play as a faceless government agent battling aliens on the streets of Washigton D.C. while also uncovering a massive conspiracy. Heat and serve with garnish, right? It’s hard to shake The Conduit’s inherent familiarity even beyond its premise. The game’s menus, control, and enemy design all recall the Wii’s greatest success in shooting-stuff-in-space field: Metroid Prime 3. But even the simplest dish can become a gourmet masterpiece in the hands of the right chef.

From my quick play session, it seems that The Conduit is a savory game underneath its bland veneer. High Voltage has even given the appropriate spice to those common ingredients listed above. For starters, the game’s space-pirate-deadringers are called the Drudge. (Despite the game’s D.C. setting, these baddies are not associated with Matt Drudge, an ideal shooter villain if there ever was one.) Rather than go with your usual infiltration or straight up invasion, the Drudge are crafty. They start by creating international turmoil by-way-of bioengineered plague (“The Bug”,) assassinating the president, and then polish it off with a full-scale assault on the capital. Much more exciting than the Chimera’s kill-and-assimilate-everybody-at-once approach, right? Protagonist Mr. Ford, a former secret service agent inducted into anti-Drudge organization The Trust at the game’s outset, gets a much needed dose of personality from actor Mark Sheppard. Sheppard is beloved by nerds the world over for his character Romo Lampkin in Battlestar Galactica. Okay, these are not the grandest variations on common themes. It’s really The Conduit’s polish and proficiency as a game that make it stand out, and that’s arguably the highest praise you can give any game.

High Voltage’s much-publicized 3D engine lives up to the hype – The Conduit is the best-looking three-dimensional game I’ve seen running on Nintendo’s hardware, second only to the shimmering gloss of Super Mario Galaxy. Activity abounds in The Conduit’s environments and is rich with the sort of effects core gamers always seek out, from dynamic lighting to particle rich explosions. (I didn’t get to see the excellent water effects so prominent in High Voltage’s original tech demo.) The level I played through seemed tightly bound though; I ran into a few not-so-invisible walls funneling me down a specific path. The actual shooting is very good, recalling Metroid Prime 3’s intuitive interface but losing its obnoxious balancing issues. The enemies I ran into were smart and aggressive, but they didn’t take a million shots to bring down. Excellent stuff. Also impressive is the sheer amount of customization available in The Conduit. Every aspect of the game can be tweaked to a specific degree. Pointer and turning sensitivity just a smidge too high? You can bump it down just a hint, then maybe another hint, to your heart’s content. Find the default HUD too invasive? You can move any onscreen icon anywhere you like or remove them completely for a more immersive experience.

This was an appetizer though, just a brief sampling of what The Conduit has to offer when it releases this spring. This very traditional, very proficient first-person shooter from a developer ready to become a major player in the industry is very appetizing though. I’m very much looking forward to the main course.

Related links:

Trailer Review: The Conduit
On Sega and the Proper Use of the Wii in 2009
So I hear folks are upset with Nintendo...
Looking Ahead: 10 Wii Games that I'm Looking Forward To in 2009

MadWorld: Actually a Pretty Even-Keeled World

John Constantine — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Unlike Bayonetta, Sega were all too happy to let me try out MadWorld yesterday. After a quick tutorial in the controls, I was thrown, for lack of a better phrase, into the deep end of Varrigan City. I walked away from the game thinking three distinct things:

One: Ultra-detailed black and white games are as cool in practice as they are in theory, but I can see why there aren’t too many of them.

Two: Platinum Games took Suda 51’s No More Heroes combat model and improved its accuracy and versatility in significant ways.

Three: MadWorld’s kind of… boring.

For clarity’s sake, I’m saying that my fifteen minutes with MadWorld were boring. I walked away without an inkling of what it will be like as a complete game. I got a good feel for its combat in one portion of one stage only. That combat is solid and the controls responsive, like a slowed-down, more deliberate variation on No More Heroes’ manic swordplay. A button makes protagonist Jack punch in combos and swing weapons picked up from the environment, shaking the Wii remote does an uppercut, holding the B-trigger brings out Jack’s chainsaw and you swing about the controller to make a mess of thugs wandering about town. There’s also grappling, throws with flicks of the remote, and all sorts of context-sensitive environmental violence. Looking at it all written out, MadWorld’s controls might seem a little overwhelming, even more complicated than those on a more traditional, dual-analog stick controller. They are when you actually play the game, but it’s not difficult to settle into the game’s rhythm. I say that as someone who’s played a ton of No More Heroes, so MadWorld may have something of a learning curve for players new to 3D combat on Wii that’s more than just wagglin’ the remote.

Unfortunately, the game’s mechanical competence is besides the point since the combat doesn’t feel very substantial. If you’ve seen the trailers, you’ve seen what MadWorld has to offer. You bludgeon all sorts of Sin-City-meets-Manhunt badguys with your fists and whatever else is around, throwing them into bizarre death traps wherever you can find them. MadWorld’s carnival freak aggressors don’t put up much of a fight though, and therein lies the problem. I’m a glutton for exaggerated cartoon violence in videogames. MadWorld’s is very satisfying, a perfect mix of funny and grotesque, as a visual spectacle, but it never demands anything of you as a game. If there’s no threat to your own well-being in a game like MadWorld, the violence loses the thrill of tension and release. It’s that exact balance that made the Platinum Games team’s other action games God Hand and Viewtiful Joe the so memorable.

MadWorld’s presentation — intricate black and white environments and characters accented by washes of red blood and yellow sound-effect words — looks great, bellying the Wii’s meager horsepower. The characters are huge too, much bigger than you usually see in the genre, and the camera stays close to the action. The characters are so big though that I found myself losing track of what was even happening. If the enemies were even remotely aggressive, I think I would have died more than a few times. The black and white compounds the confusion because it’s hard to discern what’s what on screen – if the game didn’t have a GTA-style radar as part of its HUD, I wouldn’t have even realized there was a path leading to the level’s objective. Platinum Games’ Atsushi Inaba admitted to the inherent problems of MadWorld’s visual style, and it was troubling to find that all the kinks hadn’t been worked out yet.

Platinum Games’ track record is enough to convince me that there’s a lot more to MadWorld than you can experience in fifteen minutes. Still, I was a little disappointed that its play was nowhere near as instantly gripping as its looks.

Related links:

The Contrarion: Madworld - Color Me Unimpressed
Bayonetta: Not As Gratuitous As You Think
Face-Off: Bayonetta and the Merits of Exploitation
Clover Returns, Heavy as Platinum
Independent at a Price: Sega and Platinum Games

Bayonetta: Not As Gratuitous As You Think

John Constantine — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 22:00:00 GMT

Nah, I’m playing. Bayonetta is totally as gratuitous as you think. Sega came to NYC today and they brought Platinum Games’ Xbox 360/PS3 debut with them. I wasn’t allowed to get my hands on the controller, only a guided playthrough of the game’s first stage, but that was enough to say that Bayonetta’s every bit as over the top as its initial trailer made it out to be. It also looks like a hell of a good time.

Games are more than their graphics, I know, but it’s impossible to discuss Bayonetta without mentioning its presentation first. Without question, it is one of the most visually impressive games of the last five years. The game periodically goes into brief, playable flashbacks showcasing a war that left the titular character comatose for decades. One of these sequences is frames around a boss fight against a towering, obese dragon with two heads and a human face protruding from its swollen belly. The scene is a riot of color. Every inch of the crumbling environment is a meticulously detailed and animated. Even though the game’s months away from its fall 2009 release, Platinum Games’ new engine runs all the action without a hitch and the camera, a notorious trouble-maker in 3D action games like Devil May Cry and Ninja Gaiden, follows the action without obscuring it.

The best part of the demo was that it was all play, no cutscenes, and the best way to describe the action is Devil May Cry-on-speed. It looks like Kamiya’s spent all his time since the original DMC trying to come up with new ways to make combo-driven melee-and-gun combat even more of a spectacle. In addition to the kicks, punches, and four-limbed-rapid-fire shooting, Bayonetta can pick up any weapon dropped by an enemy, and use unique attacks. It sounds pedestrian when you put it that way. It’s a different story when you pick up a trumpet and start blowing up angels with music or picking up staffs and pole dancing bad guys to death. Like I said, Bayonetta is as gratuitous as it seems. As reported, the titular character's chief weapon is her hair, and since her attire is also happens to be her hair, progressive attacks reveal more and more skin. The fighting and special one-hit kills — fill a combo meter, press a button, kick an enemy into a spectral iron maiden — are so fast, though, that you barely notice that she’s de-robed. (Let me stress: the combat is fast, faster than any other 3D action game I've seen.) The same can’t be said for the finishing moves in boss fights, since Bayonetta turns her entire outfit into an enormous hair-dragon while the camera busies itself with her body.

So it looks great and the play seems tight, but the jury’s still out on whether or not Bayonetta is a good game. Without actually playing the game, it’s impossible to say whether or not the combat is as satisfying and nuanced as Devil May Cry 3’s. (It’s even harder to make any judgments since the demo had infinite life and combo meter turned on.) I also glimpsed a stray non-action part of the level that had Bayonetta running around a city populated with ghostly NPCs. Apparently the game takes place on a dimension overlaying reality and these ghosts are how regular old people appear from there. Unfortunately I wasn’t clued in on whether or not these adventure portions had any significant presence in the game. Looks like I’m just going to have to wait ten months to find out if Bayonetta’s a great game or merely a pretty one.

Related links:

Face-Off: Bayonetta and the Merits of Exploitation
Clover Returns, Heavy as Platinum
Independent at a Price: Sega and Platinum Games

Pole’s Big Adventure: Sega Rides the Retro Train, Takes Advantage of You

John Constantine — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 19:30:00 GMT

A couple of weeks back, Sega Japan launched a countdown website sporting a peculiarly recognizable icon: a pixilated mushroom. Instead of the spotted red or green associated with the company’s one-time rivals, this mushroom was purple with yellow spots. It was an ugly little blighter and fueled all sorts of speculation as to what would be shown at the end of the countdown. An 8-bit style Sonic & Mario platformer where Robotnik has poisoned all the mushrooms! An 8-bit style game where Alexx Kidd and Mario open a day spa and compete for Birdo, Athena, and Dig Dug’s affections!

Okay. Fair enough. I am the only man who thought Sega might be making either of those games. The 8-bit part was spot on though. The game turned out to be Pole’s Big Adventure, an WiiWare original aping early Famicom games in the spirit of Retro Game Challenge. The funky looking mushroom’s a big hint as to what Pole’s Big Adventure is all about, namely messing with preconceived notions based on Super Mario Bros. You don’t break bricks with your fist, you break them by shooting them, and the same goes for getting treats out of question boxes. Go down a pipe, immediately pop back up covered in… goo? The video isn’t clear on what you’re covered in. And when you do find that mushroom out there, it will make you grow until you die. Pretty clever there, Sega.

Pole’s Big Adventure isn’t the most brilliant parody, but it’s a noteworthy change from the usual vintage gaming send up. Playing on the most recognizable tropes in gaming history is a unique hook amidst the recent 8-bit design renaissance. Bionic Commando Rearmed and Legend of Kage 2 are expert examinations on old play models, but none of them are concerned with subverting a players nostalgia-born familiarity. It’ll be worth playing Pole’s Big Adventure solely to find out how far it goes in subverting that familiarity. And unlike most parodies, Pole’s is a full game.

Head over to Siliconera to check out another video, featuring pipe goo goodness.

Related Links:

Design Resurrection: How Capcom Finally Proved That It’s Game and Not Graphics That Matters
Don’t Call It Retro: Mega Man 9 and Design Resurrection
Follow Up: Mega Man 9 and Design Resurrection Part 2
More Downloadable Remakes! More, Says I!

The Economy Strikes Again: Layoffs at Sega

Bob Mackey — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 17:00:00 GMT

In what seems like the worst time ever for employment in the video games industry--aside from the early 80s crash, of course--the bad news doesn't seem to stop a-comin'. And today is no different; a recent news report just came out of Edge Online stating that 30 employees at Sega of America have been given the axe. Here's what a Sega representative had to say about the downsizing (copied from the Edge's report):

"Sega of America has grown at pace with the booming videogame industry, but at this time of economic recession, harsh retail landscape, and the reality of business challenges to profitability, we must take steps to reduce our cost structure and ensure long-term success."

Joystiq's take on the matter was a bit perplexing to me:

In the future, it would be nice to see Sega invest in the promotion of its more unique titles (Valkyria Chronicles says hello) instead of focusing so intently on that past-his-prime blue hedgehog.

If you'll allow me to play Devil's Advocate here, producing nothing but Sonic the Hedgehog games would probably be the best course of action for Sega (economically, of course) until we get out of this soul-sucking slump. I do think it's a shame that, even with a better advertising campaign, Valkyria Chronicles would have made maybe 10 percent of Sonic Unleashed's sales numbers--but people still seem to buy that blue rodent's games in the millions for reasons that are inexplicable to me. Our lousy economy is almost necessitating the end of risky, unfamiliar games in favor of safe, tested franchises, and that certainly doesn't bode well for those who enjoy creativity.

Related Links:

The Untold Story of Sega Killing Their Own Hardware Business
On Sega and the Proper Use of the Wii in 2009
Quality? Not For You, America