61 Frames Per Second : nes

One Girl's Ancient Struggle Against Bad Games

Nadia Oxford — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 03:35:00 GMT

It's pretty cool these days for girls to stand up and say, “I'm a gamer!” Bonus admiration is issued if they do it with only half their clothes on, but male gamers are usually just happy to know we walk amongst their ranks. Game companies are definitely happy about us, because we spend money on everything from puppy sims to big games with big guns.

I'll let you in on a little secret. Girls have always liked games. What's different is that developers, game publications and marketing divisions are making an effort to let us know what's going on in the industry. Young females are being encouraged to try a little bit of everything and settle down into something they love, whether it's ponies or blowing someone's brains onto the ceiling. I'm glad, because I remember how awkward it was to be a girl gamer during those crucial years when I cared about what other people thought of me.

Mackey's retrospective on Bart vs The Space Mutants for the NES is what started me thinking back to those uncomfortable days when I wasn't just a girl gamer, but a “weird” one at that. My circle of friends was primarily made up of females in spite of my tomboyish ways, and I was invited to my fair share of girl-populated birthday parties. Most of these party houses had an NES, and even though games were almost strictly thought of as boy's stuff back in the olden days, the system never went ignored. We played plenty of games.

The problem? The games were all of the sucky, licensed variety--Bart vs The Space Mutants being a prime example of a wasted video game rental at an all-girl party. Not just once, either. No, you could count on a shitty licensed game like Home Alone to make a repeat appearance at parties as a five-dollar rental. We were often completely baffled by the vague goals and awful controls these games offered, but few of my friends wanted to move beyond the comfort of a familiar name. Sometimes they'd pick at a Mario title for a little while, thank God, but I was usually doomed to watch my friends struggle with an unplayable game for hours. My suggestions for games were usually shot down; even if the hostesses' brother had amassed an impressive collection of games, there was no question about exchanging Macaulay Culkin's unwinnable wank festival for something more solid, like Mega Man or Cobra Triangle.

Few of my girl friends played Nintendo, and it's no wonder. Nobody felt compelled to research what was out there with commercials being primarily boy-oriented, and when they did play, they were let down by shoddy licensed trash. They probably decided games weren't worth their time outside of a party environment, and with good reason. I was teased for being game-crazy and for reading Nintendo Power, but obviously, I'm glad I stuck to my guns. Girls, cave in to drugs and booze if you must, but Just Say No to bad games. You can do so much better.

(Disclaimer: please don't cave in to drugs and booze.)

Related Links:

Up All Night: Ex-Mutants
Indiana Jones, We Hardly Know Ye
Trailer Review: Scribblenauts

What's in my MP3 Player: LetThereBeLight, a Mega Man 4 OC Remix

Nadia Oxford — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 03:54:00 GMT

Line up to revoke any good feelings you have about me, because I think that Mega Man 4's soundtrack is better than Mega Man 2's.

”Oh my God Nadia how can you embarrass yourself like this?”

Though I thoroughly believe Mega Man 2 deserves its pedestal in the hearts of the people, I actually don't have the same nostalgic attachment to the title as other Mega Man fans. My first game was Mega Man 3, which I followed up with Mega Man 4. Mega Man 4's gameplay isn't exceptionally good, but the graphics and soundtrack are among the NES' best.

”So you say, but you still sound like you were dropped on your head as a baby and dragged away by a dog, poor wee child.”

Maybe so, but if you give the soundtrack a good listen, you can hear an attempt to go somewhere different. Dustman's stage is far beyond Mega Man's usual rock n roll du jour; it's a subdued tune, quite melancholy, that brings you back to those rainy days you spent indoors with your NES.

It also gave rise to the greatest OC Remix of all time.

LetThereBeLight by musician Stefan Ajax/AmIEvil is a rare instance of a remix I don't feel compelled to explain to any non-gaming company within listening range. The name is a bit deceptive, since one might expect a remix of Brightman's stage (also awesome, don't deny it), but what counts is how it sounds. LetThereBeLight is melancholy, like its source material, but also dark, tortuous, and mysterious. You would expect it to accompany a scene in a movie where the main cast has resolved to find their way out of a haunted forest, but will inevitably end up in the mouth of some hell-dog.

AmIEvil hasn't contributed any OC Remixes for a number of years, but he does seem to have a band that's touring around Sweden. So here's a “Hooray!” for a talented guy, though I do miss his automatically-accessible work.

Related Links:

What's In My MP3 Player: Super Metroid "In Your Prime"
What's In My MP3 Player: Castlevania II "Castle of Tears"
What's in my MP3 Player: Shadow's Theme

The Four Greatest Videogame/Drug Combinations of All Time (Speaking From Personal Experience)

John Constantine — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:00:00 GMT

The world’s worst fears are true: you need to take drugs to play Grand Theft Auto. The only way to get the most out of your time in Liberty City is to eat ecstasy, let the chemical take hold, and swim in an ocean of thick joy as you wreak impossible acts of havoc on the digital world’s citizens. I’m sorry I’m stealing your car, I need it right now, but I looooove you, man. Just the way it is, I guess. Bold choice, Rockstar! I kid. It was no doubt an unpleasant surprise for Richard Thornhill, a father of two, to open his recently purchased copy of GTA and find four mysterious pills sitting in the game’s case. I can’t imagine the confusion and fear. My god, what have I touched? Is this poison?

There’s nothing more noisome than someone telling you that drugs of any stripe enhance an experience. Oh man, you can’t listen to Dark Side of the Moon if you aren’t stoned, man. Shut up. You’re a moron. I would, however, be a liar if I said that I haven’t had a marvelous time playing videogames while using illicit substances. Yes, like President Obama, I too inhaled during the heady days of my youth. Amongst other things. Let us take a brief stroll down memory lane. I will be your pharmacological guide across the gaming landscape.

For the record, you don’t need to eat ecstasy to play Grand Theft Auto. That is, unless you’re British.

Marijuana and Resident Evil 4

I don’t like pot anymore. I find it to be, as Warren Ellis described LSD, abrasively psychological. It makes me feel stupid and completely out of control of my own brain. Back when, though, I found THC’s sloppy haze of goodwill and creativity very pleasant. It was never conducive to anything that requires paying attention, though. With one exception. A few puffs of Maple Leaf Indica before I fired up Resident Evil 4 for the very first time made a memorable game beginning an unforgettable claustrophobic terror. The first time I took control of Leon Kennedy, the camera was so uncomfortably close to him that it felt like I was there peeking over his shoulder. No, Leon don’t go in there! Let’s get the hell out of this forest! There are demon Spaniards everywhere!

Alcohol and Burnout Paradise

Drunk driving is one of the stupidest, most detestable things a human being can do. If you’ve had a drink, don’t even get into the driver seat of a car. You can’t operate it. You will hurt someone. If you want a quick lesson in what will happen, fire up Burnout Paradise next time one drink’s turned into three. The game’s already about terrifying reckless vehicular feats, but the shock of colliding with a wall while intoxicated is outrageous. You can’t help but laugh as your cheeks flush. That was freaking TERRIFYING!

Ecstasy and Duck Tales
MDMA is dangerous stuff. It leaves you exhausted. Even more dangerous because everything you’ve ever heard about its effects are true. It feels very good. The flood of serotonin into your system fills you up with a powerful and irresistible feeling of intimacy with everything and lends even the most mundane experience a nigh on spiritual level of profundity. Much as playing Capcom’s Duck Tales does. Sensing a good thing, I mixed the two. Scrooge McDuck’s happy greed became a desperate struggle to hold on to everything in the world because it just meant so much. You think the Moon theme was bittersweet before? Whew. Yeah, ecstasy made Duck Tales a moving spiritual journey. That’s why I don’t do ecstasy anymore.

Nutmeg and The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time

I like to think of myself as the kind of guy who will try anything twice. Life’s meant for living, right? That’s what Chicken Soup for the Disaffected Urbanite says at least. Truth is I’m pretty meek, afraid of new experiences and change. Sometimes, you just have to roll with it. Like when I found out that nutmeg — you know, the spice — can be used as a psychotropic. Uh huh. There’s a reason you don’t put more than a sprinkle of the stuff on your eggnog. Not because it induces a hallucinatory state for close to twelve hours, and not because it’ll make you incapable of pooping for a day, but because it tastes like god damn turpentine. Eaten in large quantities though it can and will make you feel like you are TRAVELLING THROUGH TIME. There’s only one thing for it under those conditions. You must become the Hero of Time. Obviously.

Related links:

GWI: Gaming While Intoxicated
Boy Addicted to Call of Duty 4 Found Dead
The Duck Tales Moon Theme--With Lyrics
OST: DuckTales

Silent Hill, Killer 7 and Not Having Fun With Great Games

John Constantine — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 02:00:00 GMT

I am less than taken with Bit.Trip Beat. Subsequent playings have not improved my opinion of the game. As I’ve gotten further into it, the fundamental flaws in its design I spotted at the beginning have been born out later in the game. Some people love it. I don’t. They think it’s fun. I don’t. C’est la vie.

As I mentioned in my article about Bit.Trip, though, I don’t think that games need to be fun in order for them to be good. I was pretty vague in making my point though. 61FPS reader Kit wrote me an email last week to ask just what the hell I was talking about. How can a game be good if it isn’t fun to play? Isn’t fun implicit in the very act of playing?

When’s a game good but not much fun?

Some games aren't fun in a traditional, visceral sense but are still substantive, engaging, and well designed. The two best examples of this are Silent Hill and Suda 51's Killer 7. Silent Hill games, particularly 1 and 2, are frustrating as hell. It's hard to see where you're going and your character is difficult to control even by survival horror standards. Beyond your basic interaction though, the games fill you with dread; they are never pleasant to play. The story, world, and actual play (moving your character, fighting enemies) are designed to make you feel uncomfortable. It doesn't matter. Silent Hill 2 is a good game because it taps primal emotions, like fear, at the same time as deeper, social emotions like guilt in the player. (David Cage from Quantic Dream actually gave a talk on the difference between social and primitive emotion in games last summer, and I haven't been able to get it out of my head since. If you're curious, check it out.)

Suda's Killer 7 is a little different, less about emotion than it is about dispassionately confusing the player. It discomfits with a dense narrative that is confusing and full of emotionally distant characters, strange noises, and weird camera angles. It also intentionally limits your range of movement and your perspective; you have to explore to succeed, but the game is constantly forcing you down rigidly defined paths. You cannot freely move through the environment. You have to stay on set path. Killer 7 isn't fun. It is artful. It's about challenging its player's perception. (What does it mean, does it mean anything at all, etc.) It's rare for a game to ask its player to think beyond solving a puzzle.

Neither game is what I'd consider fun in the way that say Super Mario Bros. 3 is fun, but they are nonetheless great.

What do you say, reader? Am I nuts? Or does a game have to be fun in order to be good?

Thanks again, Kit!

Related links:

The New Graphics Whores: Bit.Trip Beat is Gorgeous, But Retro Style Does Not Equate Quality
Interview Round Up: Suda 51, Shinji Mikami, and Mikami’s Replacements on Resident Evil
Ceci N'Est Pas Une 1-Up: The Surrealist Future of Postpunk Gaming
10 Years Ago This Week: Silent Hill

Chiptune Friday: 8-Bit Daft Punk

Derrick Sanskrit — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 19:00:00 GMT

Third Daft Punk post this month? Clearly March is all about robots dancing as far as I'm concerned.

You may have seen around the 'net that a new bit of NES homebrew was released last month in D-Pad Hero, a game that mimicked the now all-too-familiar Guitar Hero/Dance Dance Revolution style of tapping buttons in rhythm to a scrolling bar of icons, only it replaces the guitar controller/dance pad with a traditional NES game pad and high quality song recordings with size and medium appropriate chiptune. Gameplay is expectedly challenging, but the songs are divine, especially the chiptune version of Daft Punk's "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger".

Something about those clicks and warbles just seems... appropriate.

Even though the original "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" was popular when released back in 2001, it rose in popularity again in 2007 when Kanye West sampled it for his hit song "Stronger". You can download the ROM for D-Pad Hero here (you'll need some form of NES emulator). If you like it, click "support us" and PayPal them some cash to make a sequel. Maybe we'll get some chiptune Toto next time!

Related tunes:
NES Radiohead
Game Boy Postal Service
MIA vs. Super Mario Bros
RAC vs. The Legend of Zelda

The Angry Video Game Nerd's House of Nintendo Horrors

Nadia Oxford — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 03:37:00 GMT

There's been a noticeable lull in publicised Angry Video Game Nerd rants. Apparently, Rolfe is waiting for his contract renewal with ScrewAttack, and he's forbidden to yell until the people who sign his paycheques say it's okay. Man, I've been there.

To tide over the masses, the Nerd has published a short YouTube video showing off his NES game collection. How many Nintendo games do you think he owns? Times 'a lot' by a skillion and you'll get an idea.

Actually, I got more out of this video than I thought I would. The Nerd shows us his legitimate games, but in spite of Nintendo's best efforts, the NES had a lot of titles that weren't anywhere close to legitimate. Tengen's “illegal” version of Tetris was only the Purgatory of a twisted plastic hell. Deeper in the forbidden depths, you will see atrocities like cartridges bandaged together with sticky “Sale!” stickers, and cartridges with connectors poking out of their misbegotten heads.

Come one, come all. Two bits a gander.

Related Links:

The Angry Video Game Nerd Says a Bad Word: Deadly Towers
Periphery: The Angry Video Game Nerd Edition
Wow, Superman 64 Really Was Terrible

Pick Up Chicks In the Zelda Mobile

Nadia Oxford — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 16:28:00 GMT

You deserve a sexy car. That's why you need to own the Legend of Zelda Car. It's a 1978 Ford Fairmount adorned with the full map from the first Legend of Zelda game and other Zelda-related eye candy.

Pictures of the Zelda Car have vroom-vroomed their way into Nintendo Power, Digg, and several game sites. Face it: this is the car you want to lose your virginity in, you studly 29-year-old. Well, good news. It's up for sale.

The owner of the Zelda Car has taken out an ad on craigslist; he (she?) simply doesn't need the vehicle anymore, though it's been as faithful to him as Epona. It's in good condition, has a mere 110,000 miles on it (surely Link has walked/ridden more), and has fairly new shocks and tires.

It's yours for $500.00 USD.

Buy it, will ya!

Related Links:

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Stupidity
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask: Why I Let Termina Go Squish
Faster, Link! Kill! Kill!

Games That Baffled Me as a Child: Legacy of the Wizard

Bob Mackey — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 18:00:00 GMT

The most recent episode of Retronauts, about Japanese developer Falcom, brought back some fond childhood memories about a game that wanted to do nothing more than end my short life: Legacy of the Wizard. My fascination with the game was never marred by the fact that I barely made any progress and didn't really understand what I was supposed to be doing--keep in mind that instruction manuals were a luxury with rentals back in the 80s. What really drew me in and made me forget that I sucked on toast at LotW was the game's--at the time, anyway--unique design; I could be very wrong about this, but Legacy of the Wizard seems to be the most complex example of the Metroidvania genre's early years. Sure, there were games out there like Goonies II, but they didn't offer five playable characters and a (relatively) huge world to run around and be murdered in. And, in Falcom tradition, Legacy of the Wizard has a pretty kickass soundtrack--which is preferable to a Cyndi Lauper song on a constant loop.

I'm pretty sure I owe LotW credit for sparking my love of the Metroidvania genre, even though I wouldn't really realize said love existed until Super Metroid came along and made me realize that it was possible to make a game featuring relatively non-linear gameplay that's also possible to finish without the use of arcane knowledge. And while I've since moved on to explore the genre to its fullest, some sick, disturbed part of my brain is trying to make me attempt to play Legacy of the Wizard all over again. Luckily, in our modern Internet times I can work through these sick desires by watching Something Awful Forums member Deceased Crab's excellent video walkthrough (with commentary) of LotW and witness for the first time what it's like when someone actually knows where the hell to go in the game. It's a scary concept, I know, but we can get through this together.

The playlist for all of the videos in the series is HERE. DC also has a Goonies II video walkthrough that's worth watching, too.

Related Links:

I Would Drink Syke
Whatcha Playing: Guadia Quest
Pole’s Big Adventure: Sega Rides the Retro Train, Takes Advantage of You

The Making of Wrestle Jam from The Wrestler

Nadia Oxford — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 03:28:00 GMT

The Wrestler walked away with my heart this year, even if it didn't walk away with any Oscars. I'm still shaking my fist in the direction of last Sunday. The spoor's going cold though, so I'm better off reading up about the small details that made the movie so heart-rending.

In one scene, Randy “The Ram” Robinson is silently coming to grips with the fact his body has become too broken-down for wrestling. He calls in a neighbour kid to play Nintendo with him—the 8-bit variety of Nintendo—and his game of choice is Wrestle Jam, a custom title with the soul of Pro Wrestling for the NES. As Randy and the neighbour kid click away as The Ram and The Ayatollah respectively, the boy, fed-up with the archaic game (and indeed, Randy himself) talks about Call of Duty 4. The discussion emphasises the old alongside the new, and in a few minutes, the game-based metaphor delivers a punch to the gut that's amplified by Mickey Rourke's perpetual hangdog face and scattered life.

The game scene goes by quickly, but it happens that Wrestle Jam is a fully-functioning game with pixelated graphics, 8-bit music, and (according to the brother and sister team behind its creation) “stupid enemy AI.”

Kotaku has an extensive look at the work that went behind Wrestle Jam, which apparently took graphics artist Kristyn Hume and programmer Randall Furino weeks to create.

What's interesting is that Director Darren Aronofsky recognises the symbolic potential of video games. Outside of The Wrestler, video game interludes are just something to keep characters' hands busy while they verbally recap events. Most actors don't have time for gaming, and thus don't know that mashing furiously on a control pad won't fool anyone involved in the pastime. The end result often looks silly, and is very distracting. Aronofsky made it clear that he wanted The Ram and the neighbour kid to actually play Wrestle Jam instead of doing the phantom button-mash so common to movies.

Robert Denerstein, a formerly a film critic at the Rocky Mountain News, notes that carefully thought-out scenes like the NES session in The Wrestler can add a lot to a movie—but they're rarely implemented.

"Given the prevalence of video games, you would think you'd see more of it. Advances in technology, like the introduction of the cell phone, have made things possible in storytelling that weren't possible before."

Take heed, Directors!

Related Links:

World WTF Federation: Wrestling Games?
Shigeru Miyamoto, The Heartbreak...Man?
Left 4 Dead Snaps into a Slim Jim

Old Man, Take a Look At My Life

John Constantine — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 23:30:00 GMT

Somewhere over the American Midwest, on February 7th, I was playing through Retro Game Challenge. Five hours on a sold-out airplane, stale air, more screaming kids than tranq-ed adults, and surly Delta Airlines employees shoving headphones and stale bagels in your face every ten minutes makes for the perfect gaming atmosphere. You put on the best headphones you’ve got, jack up the volume, and play until the power runs out. The flight allowed me to access almost all of Retro’s faux-NES games. It wasn’t until I was plodding about its Dragon Quest homage, Guardia Quest, that I noticed my audience. Aaron was about five or six years old, a quiet kid peculiarly calm for such a long trip.

“I have a DS too.”

“Yeah, I saw.” I pulled off the headphones, but kept the DS open. Aaron had periodically busted out a DS Lite during the flight. He played quick, frantic sessions of Phantom Hourglass and stabbed the living hell out of the touchscreen. “Do you like Zelda?”

“Yeah. What is that?”

“It’s called Retro Game Challenge. See here on the lower screen? That’s you trapped in the past. To get back to the future, you have to play a bunch of games like the ones I played when I was your age.”

“Why do you keep doing the same thing over and over?” He pointed at the top screen, a paused random battle in Guardia Quest. To anyone my age, it looked like any other RPG. To Aaron it just looked like a bunch of names, numbers, and a googly-eyed orange frog. The little guy threw me. Why the hell did I keep going back into these games to complete Arino’s challenges? Forget the fact that the game targets my nostalgia centers with bullet precision, forget that I write about games day in and day out. What about these simpler games kept me interested?

“It’s fun to keep playing a game so you get better every time. Even when you beat it, you go back to it to see if you can do it faster. That’s kind of what this whole game is all about.”

“Yeah. It looks fun. I don’t like it when games just stop. Keep going.”

Aaron watched me play Guardia Quest until the captain turned the fasten seatbelt sign back on and all electronic devices had to be shut off. The kid turned his attention to pestering his older sister and I got to thinking about what it’s like to grow up with the Wii and DS like I grew up with an NES. Games do just stop. When Aaron finally finishes Phantom Hourglass, that’s it. No second quest, no harder difficulty. Playing it again will be the same thing it was the first time, no shortcuts. Guardia Quest, admittedly, is no different, but every other game on that little cartridge keeps on giving after the credits roll.

It’s more than nostalgia, this push back to NES-era design that’s been so prevalent in the past year. In twenty years, is Aaron going to be playing some Retro Game Challenge descendent packed full of lengthy, scripted 3D games? Or is he going to play something that mimics Wii Sports? I’d bet on the latter. Aaron and I, despite the age gap, understand something essential about games; the best ones can be played again and again.

Related links:

The 61FPS Review: Retro Game Challenge
Retro Game Challenge is Out Today. You Will Buy It.
Trailer Review: Retro Game Challenge
Game Center CX is Charming as Hell

We Have Fury: Pieces of Gaming History End Up In Recycle Bins

Nadia Oxford — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 20:27:00 GMT

Today I bring you a sadder, somewhat stranger tale of game waste. This one comes from an employee of Best Buy, “DrSpengler,” who haunts a popular Transformers fan board called The Allspark.

Best Buy has a recycling program in place for electronic items. The chain will take your fizzled, your sizzled, your broken televisions yearning to be scrapped. It's a good way to paint your conscience green, since disposing of electronics in the traditional way is a Captain Planet no-no.

So Best Buy has the “Recycle” thing down pat, but it brickwalls at “Reuse.” Employees are absolutely forbidden to take away or purchase items that are brought in for recycling—and there are some vintage pieces of game history that are being crushed into little cubes, here. DrSpengler recalls one jaw-dropping throwaway: a 1985 NES action set, in-box, all cables and pack-in materials included, minus the Super Mario Bros/Duck Hunt combo. Even the Zapper was grey, the precursor to the more iconic orange-and-grey light gun.

Best Buy is paid to recycle items, and likely ship the boxes by weight, so it's no surprise they don't want employees to paw through their profits. I can't even wholly blame Best Buy for callously chucking a snippet of gaming's past into a marked box. Whomever owned that little beast obviously had no idea what they were holding on to. That, or some collector's over-tidy mother got a good ol' fashioned screaming-at that evening.

MattG, who runs a gaming blog called Press The Buttons, thinks we really need to be more careful about this sort of thing:

This makes me absolutely furious. These items are part of our history. I'm reminded of how television studios used to destroy their old films and tapes to make room in warehouses. The destruction means that we're missing big chunks of our shared entertainment culture. Ever wonder why you never see video clips from the early years of The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson? It's because NBC trashed the old tapes in the late 1960s in the belief that old episodes had no value and were taking up valuable storage space. I know there are much more important things to be worked up about, but trashing these perfectly functional treasures really upsets me.

Related Links:

Gaming: A Throwaway Hobby?

Dragon Quest IV: Re-Reading the Chapters of the Chosen

Nadia Oxford — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 04:22:00 GMT

Keeping true to my reputation as the Fastest Gamer in the West, I'm still playing through Dragon Quest IV. I played the NES original, though I never finished it. I was put off by the fact a Dragon Warrior game had a story, and I just never got into it. I was a very dull child, as you can imagine.

Dragon Quest IV's branching story isn't anything that would throw Stephen King into a jealous rage, but it's fun and ambitious, and I appreciate it very much. Jumping from the flat-rate story in Dragon Warrior III (“Save the world because your father fucked the mission up”) to a headstrong cast of warriors with their own thoughts and feelings just kind of knocked me for a loop back then. The Loto Saga was effectively over with Dragon Warrior III, and I had decided to be a pouting child about Square-Enix's decision to move on.

I know a bit better now. In fact, I admire Enix's methods very much. The story for the first entry in the Zenithian Saga is light but filling, and it keeps impressively well. I get the impression that it was well ahead of its time, at least for North America, where little trolls like myself looked at it and said, “Whatever.” The branched means of storytelling in Dragon Quest IV, which ultimately has everyone meeting at the pub after doing their own thing for a time, isn't a mechanic that's employed to a huge extent today. When it does come into play, you don't stand behind the counter as a fat merchant, selling weapons to earn commission enough for your very own copper sword. It's just a copper sword, yes, but it's damn well the hardest copper sword you'll earn—and a weapon you'll feel a significant amount of affection for. Dragon Quest IV's story is so bold and lovable, it's hard to believe it originated on the 8-bit Famicom.

When I was a little older, I really warmed up to the idea of RPGs having complicated stories and a movie-like cast of characters. It just took some time to accept the idea of supporting actors who were more than a sword or magic staff at my disposal. When it happened though, I felt like a mom who'd finally realised that her kids had grown up and acquired their own motivations and ideas.

Creepy metaphor. Sorry.

Related Links:

The 61FPS Review: Dragon Quest IV: Chapters of the Chosen
Anticipation Time: Dragon Quest IV
Unwrapped: Dragon Quest IV

Nintendo Customer Service Training Video Gives Disturbing Look Into the World of Retail

Bob Mackey — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 19:00:00 GMT

Thanks to my friends over at the Retronauts Twitter, I've recently been made aware of a disturbing piece of Nintendo history--well, it's only disturbing because I once worked video game retail. I was never forced to watch any training videos, as the company motto of "badger all customers into buying whatever you want them to" was simple enough to remember without any formal brainwashing. However, if you happened to work as a Nintendo rep in the early 90s, a multimedia experience was necessary to inform you why Nintendo was infallible and all of your customers were wrong. Let's just forget the fact that the way old NESes loaded cartridges eventually caused most systems to stop reading them entirely--everything can be solved with a cleaning kit! And soon you will see how.

Customer relations should be fun!

Related Links:

Questionable Nintendo Products: Mario's Cradle-Robbing Picnic Plates
Club Nintendo Is a Little Greedy
Lowering the Standard: Why Nintendo’s Hardcore vs. Casual Commitments Aren’t the Problem

My First Banned Game: Double Dragon

Nadia Oxford — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 04:16:00 GMT

Screw Attack has a video retrospective on Battletoads & Double Dragon for the Super Nintendo. It's good for a quick nostalgia fix, and it contains 200% of the daily recommended intake of fart and tit jokes in case you haven't been meeting your quota lately (that happens in the winter).

I never played Battletoads & Double Dragon. Watching the video reminded me of the reason why: my taste in games was slightly above that of a blind burrowing animal who sleeps in its own excrement. Seriously though, I never played Battletoads & Double Dragon because Double Dragon was the first verboten series in my house. My mother took note of what I was playing long before the Mortal Kombat scare, and she didn't approve of games that let you grab women by the hair and knee them in the face. I guess.

It's not to say I grew up in an ultra-Puritan house where the only permitted video games came in telltale baby-blue cartridges, or were games about barn raising. I was allowed to play most anything, and my mom even played a bit, even if she could never get past the first boss in any given Castlevania game (but damned if she didn't try over and over). But after bringing home Double Dragon for the NES, she noted that Billy and Jimmy Lee could vent their masculine frustrations on thug women, and she deemed that uncool.

Interestingly, we owned Double Dragon on the Game Boy, and the violence-against-women issue never came up. Handheld gaming tends to be more private, I suppose, and Game Boy sprites lacked anything like gender-defining shapes or colours. Anyway, our portable copy of Double Dragon got stolen long before we brought home the NES version, so that eliminated the need for disposal.

I had friends who thought that my mother's philosophy was weird. I suppose I ought to have been angry over the fact that she didn't trust me to separate fantasy from reality. I think there's more to the situation than that, though. I'm a pretty big fan of game ratings, even though the ESRB isn't perfect by far. There is nothing wrong with telling a kid, “You know what? This is just a bit old for you. Wait a while.” I doubt I'll make my kids wait until they're seventeen to play Devil May Cry 19, but it won't kill any of us for them to learn some restraint and earn a bit of maturity.

Would kicking some chicks around in Double Dragon have infused me with a desire to go on the street and start randomly punching women in the boobs? Obviously not. I didn't appreciate being told to put Double Dragon away for good. But thinking about it now, it was good to have a parent who gave a shat about my hobby, and was reasonable about it—not just knee-jerk frightened.

Oh, and I played plenty of Double Dragon at friends' houses, of course. I was fascinated by Double Dragon II. I even told my mother about it.

“Guess what? In Double Dragon II, you don't punch women anymore.”

“Well, that's good.”

“Nah, now you whip them with morning stars.”

Related Links:

Double Dragon Double Dragon Double Dragon!!
Double Dragon in the Flesh: The Naked Flesh
Up All Night: Bad Dudes

WAKA, WAKA: Pac-Man Championship Made Old School-er

John Constantine — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 00:30:00 GMT

I was a little sad last month when putting together my closing-yet-incomplete thoughts on the games of 2008. During those twelve glorious months, the majority of the games I played to completion were from 2007. (The way 2009’s going at this point, it looks like this year’s going to be just the same.) So when I was thinking of the games that sparked my brain the most last year, some were sadly excluded from mention. My game of the year for 2007 and probably the game I played the most in 2008? Pac-Man Championship Edition.

No, seriously. That game is pure. Its rules are perfect. Its challenge increases seamlessly along with your skill. Its presentation is a quiet symphony of graphical polish and dynamic sound that encourages as much focus in a player as it does tension. It’s iconic but it’s also a legitimate sequel, improving on one of videogames’ most fundamental forms of play without relying heavily on nostalgia as a hook. It’s better than Pac-Man and it’s better than Ms. Pac-Man.

Crap, I’m tearing up just thinking about it!

Siliconera posted up this NES-styled mock up of Pac-Man Championship Edition and it really emphasizes how vital the widescreen format is in making PMCE a sequel that enhances Pac-Man fundamentals.

Without widescreen, PMCE is broken. The scrolling effect compensating for the smaller screen blocks you from tracking the ghosts at any given time, preventing you from plotting your course as you tear around the map gunning for a high score and bigger ghost-point chains. Shame it isn’t a real game. I’d love to try it side by side with the original.

Related links:

Game Compilations: The Good, the Bad, and the Fugly
Yeah, But Is It Art?: Pac-Man Championship Edition
Burn Your Skin for Pac-Man
Ms. Pac-Man: Feminist Champion

Pole’s Big Adventure: Sega Rides the Retro Train, Takes Advantage of You

John Constantine — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 19:30:00 GMT

A couple of weeks back, Sega Japan launched a countdown website sporting a peculiarly recognizable icon: a pixilated mushroom. Instead of the spotted red or green associated with the company’s one-time rivals, this mushroom was purple with yellow spots. It was an ugly little blighter and fueled all sorts of speculation as to what would be shown at the end of the countdown. An 8-bit style Sonic & Mario platformer where Robotnik has poisoned all the mushrooms! An 8-bit style game where Alexx Kidd and Mario open a day spa and compete for Birdo, Athena, and Dig Dug’s affections!

Okay. Fair enough. I am the only man who thought Sega might be making either of those games. The 8-bit part was spot on though. The game turned out to be Pole’s Big Adventure, an WiiWare original aping early Famicom games in the spirit of Retro Game Challenge. The funky looking mushroom’s a big hint as to what Pole’s Big Adventure is all about, namely messing with preconceived notions based on Super Mario Bros. You don’t break bricks with your fist, you break them by shooting them, and the same goes for getting treats out of question boxes. Go down a pipe, immediately pop back up covered in… goo? The video isn’t clear on what you’re covered in. And when you do find that mushroom out there, it will make you grow until you die. Pretty clever there, Sega.

Pole’s Big Adventure isn’t the most brilliant parody, but it’s a noteworthy change from the usual vintage gaming send up. Playing on the most recognizable tropes in gaming history is a unique hook amidst the recent 8-bit design renaissance. Bionic Commando Rearmed and Legend of Kage 2 are expert examinations on old play models, but none of them are concerned with subverting a players nostalgia-born familiarity. It’ll be worth playing Pole’s Big Adventure solely to find out how far it goes in subverting that familiarity. And unlike most parodies, Pole’s is a full game.

Head over to Siliconera to check out another video, featuring pipe goo goodness.

Related Links:

Design Resurrection: How Capcom Finally Proved That It’s Game and Not Graphics That Matters
Don’t Call It Retro: Mega Man 9 and Design Resurrection
Follow Up: Mega Man 9 and Design Resurrection Part 2
More Downloadable Remakes! More, Says I!

Ode to the Light Gun or The Only Peripheral You’ll Ever Need

John Constantine — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 20:30:00 GMT

Peripherals are bothersome. A controller is fine; it’s compact and, with the ubiquity of reliable, long-lasting wireless technology, they’ve become easy to store and maintain. These days, controllers just aren’t enough for developers. Every game has to have its own little thing. Oh, I need plastic guitars and drums to play this? A little plastic wheel to act like I’m steering? A massive twenty-four button console array meant to simulate the cockpit of a gigantic walking tank?! Well, la-di-da, Mr. Game Developer! I don’t live in some kind of mansion, I’ve already spent all my money on your products. I don’t have room to store a billion and one plastic devices used for only a single game.

Like every gamer born before 1990, though, there’s one peripheral my gaming home needs: the light gun. Nintendo may be the young family’s best friend these days, providing safe, accessible entertainment for all, but back in 1985, their consoles came with fake firearms. Those of us who grew up in the US and Europe got a grey Laser Tag knock off that was clearly — a toy later re-colored neon orange and grey to appear even more like a toy — but look at the original sumbitch Gunpei Yokoi designed for the system:

Now that’s the kind of weapon you can use to hold up a fake bank.

Much as I adore the light gun, it’s fallen on somewhat hard times. The decline of arcades in the Western world has kept many recent light gun equipped cabinets – like the ambitious House of the Dead 4 Experience, Rambo, and Silent Hill: The Arcade – confined to their native Japan. The other problem is that classic light guns can’t function on plasma or LCD televisions, barring owners from classic light gun goodness. There are modern equivalents, though, helping keep the tradition alive. Namco’s Guncon 3, which is only compatible with Time Crisis 4 on PS3 at the moment, gets the job done pretty well. Surprisingly enough, it’s the Wii and its remote that’s doing the most to keep the spirit of light guns alive. Nintendo themselves put out a new Zapper to compliment (amongst other games) ports of three Sega light gun classics, namely House of the Dead 2 & 3 and Ghost Squad. It isn’t much more than a plastic casing for the remote and nunchuck and it’s pretty uncomfortable to use. But it’s fighting the good fight. Sega also gets a high five, not just for keeping the genre of light gun game alive on Wii with decent ports, but for making an original House of the Dead for the system. And making this to go with it:

Sweet.

Editor's Note: I'm aware of Big Buck Hunter's proliferation across the land. But, seriously, screw that game.

Related links:

You’re Doing Great, Sega: Space Harrier Returns
Sega "Gets" the Wii
On Sega and the Proper Use of the Wii in 2009
Trailer Review: House of the Dead – Overkill

Castlevania III: Dracula's Reign Ends, Sypha's Baby Factory Opens

Nadia Oxford — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 02:45:00 GMT

When I was a kid, I ate crayons while I was supposed to be tested for giftedness, I lost interest in achieving the honour roll when I found out it wasn't covered with sticky frosting, and I could never understand why grown-ups got so uppity if I was wearing my shirt backwards (still can't). But I finished Castlevania III all by myself, without cheating, and I'm still damn proud of that. It remains one of about two games both my husband and I played as kids, but only I've completed.

I've only finished the game with Grant as my aide, mind you. Even my childlike stupidity and gullibility had its limits. “Ha ha,” I said as I watched the credits scroll, “I am never doing this again!”

Ah, but it looks like I will with the help of the Virtual Console. Once I get my platforming legs back, I'd like to try and finish the game with Sypha. I've seen her ending already thanks to the modern magic of YouTube, but it still fascinates me. The second Dracula dies, the schmatte covering Sypha's head falls off on cue and Trevor's like, “Holy shit, Imma touch this bitch.” And he does.

Sypha's gender is pretty ambiguous up to that point. It's basically a Samus-style unveiling, but Samus was alone in the depths of space. The only person who was present when she said, “Um, excuse me, I have a vagina,” was the player.

So what's the deal between Sypha and Trevor? Did he know from the start that Sypha was a female, but he said “Shhh, let's not tell the player until they've finished the game and gone half-mad through the attempt?”

Or did Sypha wait until that moment to show Trevor what was under her robes, and Trevor just said, “Oh, well, you're a girl.” (*belt hitch*) “I guess we'll be makin' some babies, then?”

Only they know, bless their little pixel-sized hearts.

Related Links:

Suffering Castlevania Fatigue
Watcha Playing: Castlevania Portrait of Ruin
Castlevania: Curse of the Stupid Red-Headed Kid

Live Action Mario Madness and the Culture of World 1-1

Nadia Oxford — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 01:24:00 GMT

The games industry can be a pretty volatile place. When things get rough, I ask myself if it's worth it, if I shouldn't be involved in a field that contributes more to the well-being of mankind in general (elephant racer).

Happily, I am often thrown a reminder of why I love games writing at the most crucial times. I love game culture. I love experiencing how games make people talk, think and act. Humankind has always needed leisure activities after coming down from a hard day at the office, the factory, or the Great Mammoth Hunt. There is a lot of truth to All Work and No Play, and video games can serve up that vital relaxation as effectively as television, music and movies.

Certain games are also as capable of entering mainstream culture as movies and television shows. Here's a Japanese re-enactment of Super Mario Bros using puppets and black screens. You've seen this kind of thing before, but Super Mario Bros, particularly World 1-1, is so ingrained in our culture that everyone recognises the game and enjoys different interpretations on it.

And even if you don't get as weepy over game culture as I do, watch this video for a most bizarre cameo by a Japanese Obama impersenator.

Related Links:

Brave New Super Mario World
The Eternal Question: Why Is Super Mario Bros Fun?
What I'm Playing This Weekend: Super Mario Bros 3

Confessions of the Young and Stupid: I Almost Bought a Genesis For Moonwalker

Nadia Oxford — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 03:17:00 GMT

When the Sega Genesis came on the scene, there were specific game advertisements or previews that made kids look at their 8-bit Nintendo with new doubt. Some children started paying attention to the Genesis when Altered Beast wose from its gwave. Others started pulling on their mom's arm for Sonic the Hedgehog.

The first game that gave me “console envy” was Michael Jackson's Moonwalker.

If you're nodding with me right now, you're around my age and you understand me. If you're snickering, you're a young punk and gerroff my lawn.

When I was a kid, the name “Michael Jackson” made kids' eyes light up. Promises of special trips to Neverland Ranch and all the candy we could eat weren't necessary; Michael was just that cool. Everyone wanted to be Michael. He could dance, he could perform and damn it all, he put together Thriller.

Moonwalker was cool, too. At the time, it made perfect sense to me that Michael's demigod essence could not be contained by the dinky Nintendo; no, it would take nothing less than a 16-bit temple. The in-game playlist was enough to stop a kid's heart: Bad, Billie Jean and Thriller to name a few (though we did get stiffed pretty bad Thriller-wise, since the music didn't show up where you'd expect it to—hello, graveyard? Zombies?).

But once you stripped (!!!) the suave suit and hat from Moonwalker, it wasn't much beyond a mediocre platformer with a big name and Bubbles face-sitting action. The music was ambitious and it carried that delightful digital “twang” exclusive to the Genesis sound chip, but kids who traded in Super Mario 3 to finance Moonwalker felt the loss.

Especially when certain events moonwalked into the spotlight. Heck, by that point, owning the game probably felt gross, like being in possession of questionable anime hentai bordering on child pornography.

The Angry Video Game Nerd took an extensive look at Moonwalker this week. At the very least, you can behold Super Warrior Robot Michael in his Holy laser-shooting crusade against child kidnappers. Go Go! Mecha Michael! For Save The Children!!

Related Links:

Warner Music Wants More Royalties
Music Game Shark Jumpin': Activision Possibly Too Legit to Quit, Working With MC Hammer
Whatcha Listening To: The Earthbound Soundtrack

Some Games Nadia Played in 2008 Instead of Working: Mega Man 9

Nadia Oxford — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 22:55:00 GMT

When I have to call up numbers for any reason, I rely on “funny” math. 1+1 = cow and whatnot. I don’t like math and math doesn’t like me. There’s a reason why I’m scrabbling as a writer and not pursuing my dream career as an epidemiologist (no, I’m serious).

This is my roundabout say of saying I miscounted the days and my “Ten Games Nadia Played, etc,” list isn’t going to hit double digits. It will be forever young and I’m comfortable with that.

One reason I might be so bad with numbers is because I spent a significant amount of my childhood playing Mega Man games instead of doing something useful. When you’re a Mega Man fan, what use is there for numbers above eight? Of course, when it comes time to count the sheer number of sequels and offshoots Mega Man has appeared in, you’re kind of boned. I thought I’d just do like the rabbits from Watership Down and refer to large numbers as “Hrar”--but then rumours of Mega Man 9 showed up and around and I knew the title deserved my attempt to count above eight.

The first substantial details about Mega Man 9 came through the June 2008 edition of Nintendo Power. It was pretty heartening to read jaw-dropping revelations about a highly anticipated title through a print magazine; that sort of thing just doesn’t happen so much anymore.

At first I was disappointed that Capcom wasn’t though with state-of-the-art turbo-powered graphics for Mega Man 9, but then I quickly realized it was pretty clever on their part. Mega Man games have always had pleasing graphics, but they should be about gameplay, tinny music and controls you can swear by.

Nostalgia is a powerful, blinding master that still has hordes of twenty-somethings believing that the cartoons and video games that raised them in the ’80s contained beautiful statements on the human condition instead of subliminal suggestions to buy toys. Mega Man 9 caters to every pore in an ’80s/‘90s fan boy, or fan girl; when I played it, my reflexes were whisked back to the summer I slowly mastered Mega Man 3, my very first Mega Man game.

That comparison alone is assurance that Mega Man 9 is more than empty nostalgia. It’s a phone call back to our eleven-year-old selves, a visit from a loving but slightly eccentric military grandfather who pokes you in your paunch and orders you to drop and give him fifty. Maybe we didn’t need a reminder of how nastily hard games were when we were kids, but the fact Mega Man trusted me help him rescue Doctor Light without first subjecting me to an hour-long tutorial makes me adore him, no matter what he put me through.

Related Links:

Mega Man 9 Goes Back To Your Roots. Way Back.
Mega Man 9 Bosses Look Like Mega Man Bosses
My Last Mega Man 9 Post, I Swear

Best NES End Credits Music in the History of NES End Credits Music

John Constantine — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 00:45:00 GMT

Can’t you just hear it? It works so well, it’s ridiculous.

More NES-ready Radiohead chiptunes right here.

(Link: GoNintendo)

Related links:

Chiptune Friday: Shut Up and Jam!
Chiptune Friday: Blaze a Blaze in the Mushroom Kingdom
Chiptune Halloween: Check Your Candy For Razor Blades
Chiptune Friday: Power Blade
Chiptune Friday: I Am Thinking It's A Sign...

Mega Man Dies and Goes To Robot Hell For His Sins

Nadia Oxford — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 05:01:00 GMT

Wise people are known to furrow their brows, stroke their beards and wonder why Doctor Wily just doesn't throw his entire stable of robot jerks at Mega Man. There are two answers to that question. First, there is certainly something psychological with Wily's slow trickle of Robot Masters; the even distribution gives Mega Man a challenge, but doesn't overpower him. This, in turn, leads to some rambling theory about every human's need to chase a Questing Beast.

The second answer is probably the right one: if Mega Man had to fight every Robot Master at once, his games wouldn't be much fun, stupid.

Gee, the guy who put together this video makes it look so easy. In fact, there's something primal and just a little sexual about this nine-man confrontation.

Just when you thought we'd never see another interesting Robot Master, here comes METBUBBNEAANAASOMANKNANWOAOAAIR Man.

Related Links:

What I'm Playing This Weekend: Mega Man Anniversary Collection
Mega Man is a Dick
Mega Man 9 Trailer: I'm Drowning in My Childhood

Periphery: The Coolest Homebrew Project Device Ever

John Constantine — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 23:00:00 GMT

My understanding is that Niagara Falls is something of an awe-inspiring sightseeing opportunity as far as natural formations go and it’s a tacky extravaganza of shoddy, moldering love hotels as a tourist destination. You go to gamble, eat at buffets, and look at some fast water, right? I honestly don’t know. I haven’t been there in eighteen years, and my child’s-memory is fuzzy at best. It’s a cluttered jumble of images and familial inside jokes, things like eating pickle chips and weighing the odds of my survival if I jumped the railing. My clearest memory, though, is the preponderance of freak museums. Every corner boasted its own hall of mismatched curiosities, from replicas of barrels that made the falls’ descent to stuffed polar bears and any number of imaginary anthropological curiosities. I fear going back because I prefer my memory of the city’s institutionalized theater-of-the-absurd.

I check the website GameSniped on a weekly basis because, while it is intangible, it is very much a gaming freak museum. Prototype NES carts, complete Master System collections, strange promotional materials from bygone eras. It is a literal island of lost games, the detritus of the medium’s collective subconscious, interesting to collectors and freaks only. And me of course. Today’s spotlight is especially alluring, as both a historical find and as an opportunity. Some intrepid Ebayer is selling off a boxed M2 development kit. The M2 was Panasonic’s finished but never commercially released follow-up to the 3DO, meant to compete with the Playstation and Saturn. Back at the end of August, I linked to some bonafide footage of Kenji Eno’s first version of D2 running on the M2 hardware and, man, is it ugly. While Panasonic never released the M2 as a gaming console, the hardware actually powers some mundane devices these days, including ATMS and Japanese coffee vending machines. At least that’s what Wikipedia says so, you know, take that with a teensy grain of salt.

Why should you, the intrepid gamer, care about this M2 development kit? Why, think of what you could do with it! You could be the first person in the 21st century to actually make an M2 game. Talk about nerd cred! They’d give you a symposium at GDC for that kind of nonsense. That, or five people on a message board would hail you as a visionary. You could also make your own Japanese coffee vending machine. Awesome? Yes.

Related links:

Games We Will Never Get to Play: Kenji Eno’s D2 for M2
Periphery: Archaic N64 Paraphernalia is The Best
Periphery: Emotiv's EPOC is Strong in the Force
Periphery: Angry Video Game Nerd Edition

Game Compilations: The Good, the Bad, and the Fugly

John Constantine — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 22:00:00 GMT

Time was, I thought game compilations, museum, and anniversary collections, and anything else you’d want to call them were the cat’s meow. Greatest thing since sliced bread. The *ahem* tits. Then The Mega Man Anniversary Collection for Gamecube came out back in 2004. Fifty simoleons for all eight console Mega Man games plus an opportunity to finally play Mega Man: The Power Battle and Power Fighters? Sounds like a dream come true. Then I found out that instead of the A button making the little blue fella shoot and the B button making him jump, the buttons were reversed for the compilation. There is no way to change this control scheme. It turns playing Mega Man 1 through 6 into a personalized hell, the place where cheat code users go when they die. Compilations are dangerous business because, more often than not, the publisher puts no effort whatsoever into them and people buy them anyway. That’s how you end up with Mega Man’s jumping and shooting getting reversed, how Sega releases not one, but two Sonic the Hedgehog collections with fantastic unlockables that are almost impossible to unlock, and how Namco can release the same damn Galaga/Dig Dug/Pac-man collection nine-hundred times.

Of course, they really can be a treat. Despite all the load times and inaccessible unlockables, the Sonic Mega Collection is still a great way to play Sonic at his best. Occasionally, budget numbers like the Capcom Classics Mini Mix, a no-frills GBA collection with Bionic Commando NES, Strider NES, and Mighty Final Fight, can come along and introduce you to games you’ve never ever heard of. (Seriously, Mighty Final Fight? When did that happen? It’s got mini Haggar!) They are a more palatable alternative to Virtual Console-style downloads too, as far as price is concerned. Sega’s just-announced Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection for PS3 and Xbox 360 comes with forty games, and for thirty bucks you get what Nintendo would charge $120 for on Wii. Plus, they wouldn’t even all fit on the Wii’s memory! But again, the production values are highly questionable. As Jeremy Parish pointed out with the screen Sega released of Shinobi III, the emulation work on this new collection isn’t exactly screaming HD-console-quality visuals. Look at this:

That's a game that Backbone Entertainment has already put on Xbox Live Arcade! It didn't look half that muddy. See?

So, what’s the problem? Why can’t Sega, and every other publisher with a mind to, release well-considered, value-laden collections like the Capcom Classics Collection (which has radical Street Fighter tutorials?)

(Link: Joystiq)

Editor's Note: Pictured at the top is Sega's own Fantasy Zone Complete collection. It is awesome.

Related links:

What I'm Playing This Weekend: Mega Man Anniversary Collection
Sega "Gets" the Wii
Infinite Mega Man 9: Composer Ippo Yamada Talks Living Up to a Serious Musical Pedigree
Where I Draw the Line With Retro
Growl, Snarl, Bark: Screw Attack's Top 10 Genesis Games

WTFriday: Mega Man A Cappella

Bob Mackey — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Note to readers: WTFriday is a weekly feature where I find something stupid about video games and get you to laugh until it goes away. Please try to forget this is what I normally do every day of the week.

Every Friday, I spent literally tens of minutes--and sometimes dozens of minutes--searching for something stupid and hopefully video game-related to share with my beloved readers. But some Fridays, links to substantially goofy content fall right into my lap--like today! 61FPS Reader Nathan Avilla was so kind as to forward me a Mega Man 3 game play video with all of the music/sound effects replaced by human wailing; it's shrill and taunting, yet somehow enchanting. I'd have preferred that the composer applied this idea to Magnet Man's stage, as science has proven that he has the best music in all of Mega Man 3--but still, I'm impressed:

Mega Man 3 'Vocal BGM' clip

And unlike most wacky online videos, this is definitely something you can do at home; all you need is a microphone, and to be castrated. But make sure you ask your parents' permission before buying an expensive microphone.

Related Links:

WTFriday: The Mario Paint Music Showcase
WTFriday: The Chrono Trigger Anime
WTFriday: Goldman's Drama Academy

Klonoa: Careful, Namco. You Tread On My Dreams.

John Constantine — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 19:00:00 GMT

I’m not a purist. No, really. When it comes to classics being revisited, modernized, or remade, I don’t need every facet of the past perfectly preserved just the way I remember it in order to get a desperate nostalgic thrill. I delight in Mega Man 9 because it’s a great game whose presentation and technological limitations are carefully made design choices, not because it’s a new NES game. I’ll let you in on a secret: I actually like Mega Man 7 and 8. Yeah, that’s right. I think they’re good games. Not as good as their forebears, but all the same. When the new Bionic Commando was announced last year, even before Rearmed was revealed, I didn’t balk at Radd Spencer’s Adam-Duritz-makeover. I think the new look is cool, especially the way his dreads flow behind him like delicate willow branches as he soars through dystopian cityscapes and… oh! Excuse me. What I’m getting at is that not everything from yesterday is sacred. Some things, especially in games, should be changed. Final Fantasy III DS is a good thing. The NES original is just too slow now. Tomb Raider Anniversary preserves a revolutionary game’s best qualities while also making it, you know, playable. In with the new, out with the old may not be an all-encompassing maxim, but it’s more often than not good advice.

That said, Namco, if you go through with this, I will hurt you.

The Raw Meat Cowboy himself over at GoNintendo received a survey from Namco-Bandai today, the subject of which was their impending Wii remake of Klonoa: Door to Phantomile. RMC has smartly inferred that Namco is testing the waters to see if Klonoa should be localized for North America. One of the questions in the survey asks which of these two character designs is preferable:

Yes, there on the right is Klonoa, already slightly altered to more closely resemble his 21st century self than the Klonoa of 1998. It’s great, he’s looking good. On the left, is some monstrosity, a Japanese Poochie, his raised ears giving off a deliberate whiff of the EXTREME. He has just enough buckles and straps to satisfy a Nomura. The implication is that Namco thinks this bastard would be more suited to North America’s indelicate palette.

Now, there are going to be some vague spoilers here, so beware. Even beyond the fantastic platforming, level design, and soundtrack, what makes Door to Phantomile so special is that it subverts expectation. Klonoa himself, and his introduction in the game, portray complete innocence, a cutesy cartoon anthropomorphic at play in a pleasant fantasy world. But the game quickly becomes melancholic, and by game’s end, the pleasant Disney aesthetic is pulled away, violently, to reveal that the story is, in fact, a tragedy. The game is about a loss of innocence, and the character’s design is essential to that theme. This redesign places the character more firmly in a recognizable, and marketable, anime tradition, where existential angst is an expected component. Remaking Klonoa in this image completely betrays the point of Shuichi Sakurazaki’s story.

Don’t do this, Namco.

(Link: GoNintendo)

Related links:

Where is Shuichi Sakurazaki, Creator of Ninja Gaiden?
Klonoa's Truimphant(?) Return
Christmas in Nintendoland: The Tokyo Conference
The Tale of the Identical Box Art
Lowering the Standard: Why Nintendo’s Hardcore vs. Casual Commitments Aren’t the Problem
Abominations of Technology: Pre-Rendered Graphics

Our Emulation Habits

Bob Mackey — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 22:30:00 GMT

A long, long time ago (actually, it was just this past Friday) fellow blogger and 61FPS boss-man pined over his inability to emulate. I'm afraid that I'm a bit less romantic than John, even though my feelings about emulation have changed slightly over the years. But when I first started emulating--man oh man--it was like some sort of amazing technology I dreamed about but never thought would exist. As is the case with most people who caught onto emulation, I got hooked on NESticle back in 1997, and spent the copious amounts of free time I had (I was a dork in high school, after all) downloading all the games from my past I was dying to play again.

If I'm not mistaken, I think this was also the year that SNES emulators--a baffling proposition at the time--first started to support sound. I remember downloading a .wav file of the Chrono Trigger opening song as played through the soon-to-be released SNES9X and sitting there completely awestruck. Yes, even then I realized how nerdy I was.

Really, the late 90s-early 00s were a very fruitful time for emulation, and during this short span of years we saw some of the most notable translations: Final Fantasy V, Seiken Densetsu 3, and even a ROM dump of Nintendo's own aborted attempt at releasing the first Mother game. If emulation has served me any good, it's come from being able to play games I would've never been able to play otherwise. The translation scene is much quieter these days, but every once in a while there's a huge release, like the PSX version of Tales of Phantasia or Mother 3, which we can't stop blogging about.

Really, the inauthenticity of emulation really doesn't get to me, because the differences from the real hardware are--in my eyes--imperceptible; and I'd rather play something great with minor imperfections than not play anything at all. The only trap I've ever fallen into has been the dreaded "emulation fatigue," which happens when you have a lot of ROMs but not a lot of patience. It's easy to judge and dismiss a game in moments when you've got hundreds more sitting on your hard drive; most people suffering from this disorder try out games for roughly eight seconds before deciding to never play them again. But I've found that if I actually pay money for emulation, usually via the Wii's Virtual Console, this problem disappears entirely. I still have a bunch of games I've never finished sitting on my Wii, but I feel compelled to go back to them because they actually have a dollar value. Not sure if that makes me a hypocrite, but that's my typical behavior.

So I'm going to go ahead and say "Huzzah for emulation!" as long as it isn't hurting anyone. I honestly don't see the point in ethical hand-wringing over games we'll probably never see on any platform again; sure, Capcom may not see a dime from you downloading a DuckTales ROM, but the great money chain for that game was broken about 18 years ago. That doesn't make you entitled to play it, but in the end, who the hell cares?

Related Links:

Question of the Day: Why Can’t I Emulate?
THE MOTHER 3 TRANSLATION IS OUT
The End of Time and the Beginning of Fan Drama

Up All Night: Power Blade

John Constantine — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 22:30:00 GMT

Somewhere in upstate New York, on a chill night in April 1991, a television glows ominously in a family living room, illuminating the suburban setting in an uneasy, blue light. A boy sits before the television, knees tucked beneath him, with an NES pad in his hands. He is transfixed, his stare one that betrays nothing but a devoted concentration and perhaps a hint of desperation. This war against the despotic computer mainframe has gone on too long. It is taking its toll on his small mind. From upstairs comes a slow thumping, the sound of weary parental feet shuffling in the dark.

A call rings out.

“If I come down there and you’re still playing videogames, I’m going to throw that stupid box out the window.”

A whisper.

“Can’t talk. Final level.”

“GO TO BED!”

“No! No, I cannot go to bed! I must defeat these godless machines! I MUST STAY UP ALL NIGHT!”

Yes, Friday’s Chiptune got me thinking about that true Up All Night classic, Power Blade. One of Guy Wearing Tank Top and Sweatpants’ last great hurrahs on the NES, Power Blade is, unlike some UAN candidates, a legitimately good game, chock full of tight platforming and robot murdering in the grand Mega Man tradition. It also has an interesting history: Power Blade actually started, as Kurt Kalata puts it, a literal Mega Man clone called Power Blazer. In a rare stroke of ambition, Taito decided to not merely localize Blazer for a United States, but completely overhaul the gameplay and redesign the main character as well. The result was a superior game that was even more stuffed-crust-cheesy than most in 1991. Your set-up: in the year 2191, a super computer runs all of society. As super computers in the future are wont to do, it goes insane and kills all sorts of nice folk. GWTTS plays a tough guy named Nova who kicks ass like all tough guys: by using a giant metal boomerang and occasionally wearing some rad full-body armor. He uses both the boomerang and the armor to make robots explode across seven crazy futuristic levels.

Power Blade eventually spawned a sequel, which is notable for being both one of the last NES games ever released and also for having what is possibly the most suggestive cover of any NES game ever.

Look at that. Yes, of course it looks like he’s holding an enormous metal erection. Reminds me of that Empire Strikes Back trading card prank. This one:

Droid dongs aside, let us all kindly ask Square-Enix, owners of Taito, to give Power Blade a new life on Wii’s Virtual Console, lest we all emulate the damn thing. See you next time, everybody!

Previously on Up All Night:

Cannon Spike
Parasite Eve
Trojan
Dark Sector
Ex-Mutants
Nightmare Creatures
Bad Dudes
P.N. 03

The Videogame Ages, part 2

John Constantine — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 22:00:00 GMT

In part one of The Videogame Ages, I discussed the inadequacy of “generation” language in gaming, and laid out The Golden Age of gaming. In part two, I look at the Silver and Bronze ages before taking a look at the modern era and the future.

The Silver Age – 1983 to 1996
8-Bit, 16-Bit, Early Handheld, Early 3D, Advanced PC and Arcade

The silver age of games is defined by expansion, in not just playability but breadth of experience. When home computers became affordable and home consoles began diversifying, games started transforming from immediate, single-mechanic experiences into more lasting forms. Silver age games were still about escalating challenge, but high scores ceased being the goal, replaced by definitive endings. Games started becoming more explicitly narrative-driven, as aesthetic justification on consoles and as the focus of many PC games (see the entire adventure game genre.) Portable gaming also started to rise to prominence during this period, early single-screen LCD games replaced by multi-game consoles like the Game Boy and Atari Lynx. Arcade and PC game technology pulled far away from home consoles, but all games were shifted from the rough visual abstraction of golden age games, into more aesthetically recognizable presentations – albeit still cartoonish impressionistic rather than realistic. The rise of polygonal 3D graphics, both real-time full 3D (Yu Suzuki’s Virtua series) and pre-rendered (Myst, etc.), at the end of the silver age marks the transition to bronze. In 1996, with the release of Mario 64, Tomb Raider, and Quake, the silver age comes to a close.

The Bronze Age – 1996 to 2006 (maybe)
32-bit, 64-bit, 128-bit, Death of Arcades, PC Equalization

While golden age games’ boundary was a single screen and silver age games were largely confined to movement from left to right or down to up, the bronze age is the birth of 3D space as gaming’s chief concern. This isn’t to say that games that take a place on a 2D plain ceased being important or a valid medium for experimentation (though they certainly became marginalized on consoles, PCs, and in arcades.) But creating spaces with depth similar to the physical world took center stage in design. This push toward realistic spaces is mirrored in game aesthetics. Nearly all the technological benchmarks of the bronze age have come from creating as lifelike a facsimile of real life as can be achieved on any technology. PC games typically set that high water mark, though by the end of 2006, home consoles had largely caught up to PCs, much as they did with arcade games during the first few years of the 20th century (arcades are close to extinct now.) Game narrative started heavily borrowing from film’s storytelling language, relying on scripted scenes voiced and acted by digital characters in an attempt to tell deeper stories, but games also started developing there own unique storytelling language during this period, some games allowing the player to always be immersed in drama through play (see: Half-Life.) Multiplayer games no longer required physical proximity with the rise of online play on both PCs and consoles, and portable gaming started offering richer, longer play experiences, akin to those found on consoles.

I’m not totally convinced that the bronze age has ended yet, but the telltale signs of gaming’s latest age-defining shift have been popping up with some frequency over the last few years. The argument can be made that the Heroic Age of gaming is one of community via online networks and MMOs, user-generated content (see: Spore, LittleBigPlanet, Halo 3, Boom Blox, etc.), and experiential gaming. Experiential gaming is a big one whose mettle has yet to be tested, whether or not broad physical activity, from waving a Wiimote to playing fake musical instruments, will catch on. It’s certainly a dramatic shift to see experiential gaming leave its one-time home, the arcade, and transform into a driving force of home gaming. Then again, who knows? Maybe the golden age of gaming has only just ended, and its now, when players can finally build games themselves inside of other games, that the silver age has begun. Let me know, dear reader.

Part 1

Related links:
Comparison of Wiki Articles Proves Geeks Inherited The Earth
MMO Predicts Life in 10 Years
Men Are From Hyrule, Women Are From Simville: If Gender Defines the Games We Play, Why Does Everyone Play By the Same Rules?
9/9/99 9 Years Later
Fix It: Alone in the Dark, Tiger Woods, and the Death of the Glitch
Everyone Will be Able to Rock