61 Frames Per Second

Video Games and Discipline: You're Doing It Wrong

2008-09-06T00:09:00Z

Just so we're clear: I'm not referring to using gold-plated copies of Zelda II for kinky spanking activities.

(Everybody gets up and leaves, muttering disappointedly)

I was usually a pretty good kid. With my big blue eyes and dark pigtails, nobody suspected any trouble out of me. When I did feel the inevitable jab of rebellion, I at least had the good sense to keep my activities on the down-low. Of course, that was a different age before the pull of YouTube and Facebook photo albums.

But even I fell off the schoolwork wagon often enough. Part of my problem is that I just didn't like school, except when I was learning something I was genuinely interested in...and how often does that happen? I prefer spacing out to studying, and of course, video game obsession knocked me off course from time to time. I had my systems and games taken away now and again. My mother might have sold them entirely if she wasn't so determined to pass the first level of Castlevania III...however many times she had to try.

The other day, I was reading an article by one of them fancy college-edjyoucated "child psychologists" who had some advice for correcting "bratty kids." None of the disciplinary actions I would employ showed up on the list (nobody uses holes full of hungry rats for anything anymore), but the psychologist recommended against taking away an unruly kid's system and games. Why? Because "if a child is away from video games for long enough, he'll forget he ever liked them."

Can I be the first to call bullshit on that one?

Having my games taken away from me always stung bad. It's true I would take up other pursuits--reading, writing, running under cars--but games were more than a shallow pastime. The stories, the characters, the thumb-twitcing action...it all left an impression on me that, obviously, has not gone away since.

Or maybe I'm just weird.

Our psychologist friend did recommend one course of video-game related discipline: deleting game saves, memory card data and such. Such actions, she said, are more permanent means of punishment.

Personally, that strikes me as pretty cruel. I know she's obviously not putting much stock into video gaming as a hobby--probably doesn't consider it a constructive pastime with real goals and accomplishments--but if you delete a kid's memory card on purpose, you're really tearing down a lot of shit he worked for, and that's just not right. I would think it on the same level as destroying a painting he/she made, or knocking over a house of cards he/she put together as an afterthought. "By the way, this is for teasing your sister."

So, hyperbole on my part? What do you think?

Related Links:

All Ages: Viva Pinata and Building Games for Children
The Impetuousness of Youth
Mario Will Not Die. He Will Outlive Us All

Ports That Need To Be Made: iTouchRez

2008-09-05T20:00:00Z

The news last week that Q Entertainment would be bringing its popular handheld titles Meteos to XBox Live Arcade and Lumines to Playstation Network got me to thinking about what other Q titles could use ports to new platforms. Far and away, the best idea to come out of this meandering train of thought was this:

Rez, for the iPhone and iPod Touch, or as I like to call it iTouchRez.

Haptic feedback with variable control for vibration on/off.

Touch screen shooting. There's no need to ever move the character, just the aiming reticule, perfect for fingertips.

Sega of America President Simon Jeffery has already stated that the current iPhone is as powerful as the Dreamcast, Rez's original platform.

The iPhone is already a widescreen hi-def video/audio player, perfect for the intense and immersive audiovisual experience of Rez.

Rez was rereleased earlier this year in an HD update on XBox Live Arcade to wide critical acclaim, so the interest is definitely still there. I think this portable port would quite possibly be the easiest way to lose an entire train ride in a trance. Tetsuta Mizuguchi, make this happen!

Related articles:
The Long and Winding Road: Rez's Journey From Proof-of-Concept to Game
Kenichi Nishi and Kenji Eno's Newtonica Brings iPhone Gaming Into The Realm of Awesome
The iPhone as Your "Dark Passenger"
Sega CD on iPhone: I Like Where This Is Going

WTFriday: 20/20 from 20 Years Ago Copes With Nintendo

2008-09-05T19:00:00Z

Note to readers: WTFriday is a weekly feature where I find something stupid about video games and get you to laugh until it goes away. Please try to forget this is what I normally do every day of the week.

It's always fun to take a trip back in time and see the media's reaction to something new back when it wasn't as innocuous as it is today. Case in point: ABC news magazine 20/20's 1988 investigative piece, "Nuts for Nintendo," where a youngish John Stossel grows unreasonably cranky at the concept of a childlike sense of wonder.

Part 1

Part 2

But despite Stossel's inescapable Andy Rooneyish narration, he ends up at a generally positive conclusion; the segment starts off with a real "These fucking kids and their Nintendos" sentiment, but ends with a declaration of the console's harmlessness. And I can take consolation in the fact that Wendy Stapen's children either disowned their mother or grew up to become huge libertarian douchbags like John Stossel. Nice parenting, Wendy.

The only thing that bothers me about this report Stossel's lack of fact-checking: he mistakenly labels Sub-Con as The Mushroom Kingdom, and claims that Mario fights "ducks." Ducks. Crap like that would send me into conniption fits as a child. But I guess 20/20 wasn't worried about their 8-and-under demographic.

Related Links:

WTFriday: Birdo's Gender Confirmed?
WTFriday: FMV Hell
Video Game TV: Can It Ever Be Good?

Tales of The Focus Group: Peter Moore Takes No Guff

2008-09-05T18:00:00Z

I get latching onto game designers as personalities. It’s no different than the cult of personality that sprouts up around musicians, writers, and film directors. Gaming’s rich with characters too: from the robot-building eccentrics like Will Wright, frothing madmen like David Jaffe, and mean drunks like Tomonobu Itagaki. What mystifies me is the way gamers latch onto publishing executives and marketers. Seriously, who cares about Reggie Fils-Aime? The guy doesn’t make Nintendo’s games, he just makes sure they’re profitable. Or how about Peter Moore? When that wily Brit was in charge of Microsoft’s games division, there was no end of fanboy chatter about his antics. Oh, Peter Moore got a Grand Theft Auto IV tattoo! Take that, Sony! Once he moved on to EA Sports, the guy disappeared from the limelight, no longer a face for console war jibber-jabber.

Well, after today, I am forced to admit that I am interested in Peter Moore. Not because he’s starting some wild new business initiative to ramp up EA’s creative output or anything of the sort. No, I want to know more about Peter Moore because one of his last actions as president of Sega of America was to tell Yuji Naka, creator of Sonic the Hedgehog, to fuck off. Games Radar’s running a story that, during the Dreamcast’s final days, Moore ran a focus group that resulted in young consumers labeling Sega a "granddad with dementia who used to be cool but you couldn't remember why." Burn. When Moore had recordings of the focus group translated into Japanese for a meeting with Sega Japan, Naka accused Moore of doctoring the recordings. Moore’s response?

"I lost it. I turned to the interpreter and said, ‘Tell him, fuck you.’” Although the translator refused to convey Moore's feelings, he was pretty sure that his message got across. "Naka had lived in the US for three years, so I knew he understood. I walked out and never returned."

Why does this make Peter Moore interesting? Yuji Naka is responsible for Sonic’s shitty friends. Fuck that guy.

(Link: Games Radar, via NeoGAF)

Related links:

FMV Hell: Sonic CD
Trailer Review: Sonic Unleashed
Do You Hold Any Hope For Sonic Unleashed?
Alternate Soundtrack: Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Ratatat
Sonic is for Porn

Grand Theft Auto IV's Post-Game Purgatory

2008-09-05T17:00:00Z

Grand Theft Auto IV is a game completely dependent on--and some would say subservient to--its story and characters. Sure, other games in the series have their share of colorful cast members and interesting twists, but IV decided to scale back on the gameplay a bit in exchange for hours upon hours of babysitting Niko Bellic's friends. It was novel at first, but soon became disappointing after the realization that the limited content of these artificial social interactions replaced the endless playground fun of GTAs past.

So what happens when the oh-so important characters of GTAIV run out of recorded lines of dialogue? The answer is about as unsettling as anything else in the bleak life of Nico Bellic.

Jumping back into the game after its finale results in a few perfunctory calls from Nico's friends about the tragic events of either ending; but after that, nothing. There are no new people to meet, or anything for Nico to do besides live a completely aimless life in Liberty City. I really didn't expect Rockstar to throw in a lot of post-game content--after all, I'm surprised I even finished the damn game--but trying to play GTAIV after the final mission just feels wrong and empty. Maybe this is a testment to how important Nico's social network is to the game--or maybe the removal of said social network reveals the game for what it really is.

It could also be that, in some stroke of genius, Rockstar was somehow able to convey how unsatisfying revenge actually is, but I think that's giving them too much credit.

So is anyone else out there having similar problems getting back into GTAIV after finishing the game? I still have a few (non-story) things left to do, but I really don't want to make Nico find pigeons for me after being sentenced to such an empty existence. Yeah, he's a sociopathic mass murdered--but he's got heart.

Related Links:

The 61FPS Review: Grand Theft Auto IV, Part 1
Yahtzee Rolls With the Big Dogs, Takes the Piss Out of GTA4
61FPS EXCLUSIVE: Peaceoholics Protest Rockstar Games and Grand Theft Auto 4

Chiptune Friday: The Adventure of Link

2008-09-05T16:00:00Z

The Legend of Zelda series is responsible for many of the most memorable musical scores in the history of gaming, but there is one in the series that has been woefully ignored over the years. I refer, of course, to the black sheep of the Zelda family tree, 1987's Zelda II: The Adventure of Link for the Nintendo Entertainment System/Famicom. Maybe it's because The Adventure of Link is the only console Zelda game without a score by Koji Kondo, but Akito Nakatsuka's brilliant reimagining has been all but forgotten – save for the palace theme, resurrected for the Temple stage in Super Smash Bros. Melee.

Here, listen to Zelda II's overworld theme, the opening bars of which are the only link to Kondo's original Zelda score:

Much has been said over the years about Zelda II and its relationship with and differences from the rest of the Zelda games, so I won't harp on about that. I will point out, however, that Zelda II features an intense battle between Link and an evil Dark Link clone (seen above), a concept that has since been repeated in such other Nintendo games as Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Metroid Prime 2 and 3, Super Mario Galaxy, and pretty much every other game in the world. Cheesy and cliché as it is now, this was totally awesome back in the '80s.

Related articles:
The Ten Most Adventurous Sequels In Gaming History, Part 2
Chiptune Friday: Bionic Commando - A New Breed of Hero
Chiptune Friday: Little Nemo - The Dream Master
Chiptune Friday: A Test of Island Courage!

Action Button Top 25 Games Ever List Up

2008-09-05T15:00:00Z

A few weeks back I told you about Action Button's ongoing list, and now it's done. I reckon that this is the only list of its kind worth reading, because it flies in the face of everything that you've been told about video games. If nothing else, the lineup serves as an excellent introduction to some wildly underrated games, a dozen of which I've put on my "must play" spreadsheet.

Each entry is accompanied by a verbose review, which will most likely shoot off in several directions, perhaps only tangentially discussing the game in question. I've read about half, and all are compelling, despite the word counts. We're talking about people who can call a game "Love: The Videogame" with a straight face. But whatever, Tim Rogers and Co. love video games. When you're done reading through this list, you may come to the conclusion that most other reviewers hate them. Be sure to scroll through the 500+ comments that the list has inspired for some of the best open conversation on game theory that you'll find anywhere.

The full list, after the jump:

Out of This World
Super Mario Bros 3
Half Life 2
< to (Sequel 3 Mother>Mother 3
< Pacman>Pacman Championship Edition
Gears of War
Street Fighter III: 3rd Strike
Cave Story
Chrono Trigger
Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
Shadows of the Colossus
Katamari Damacy
Panzer Dragoon Zwei
Ikaruga
Doom
Outrun 2
Winning Eleven 7
Metroid Prime
The Lost Vikings
Breath of Fire V: Dragon Quarter
Dragon Quest V: Hand of the Heavenly Bride
Secret of Evermore
Monster Hunter Portable: 2nd G
Spartan: Total Warrior
Castlevania: Bloodlines

Spore vs. Evolution

2008-09-05T14:00:00Z

Spore, the much anticipated life simulation game by Will Wright is upon us. I, like many, have been looking forward to seeing this game in action since it was first announced 4.5 billion years ago. The story behind Spore's creation is every bit as interesting as the game itself, involving Mr. Wright spending a great deal of time speaking with evolutionary biologists and gathering intelligence to re-imagine the entire history of life as a video game. From the start, Spore has been billed as “Evolution, the Video game”. But is it really? As a science enthusiast, I thought I'd take what I've learned about Spore and what I know about evolution and break down a brief comparison.

In Spore, evolution is a linear affair. Creatures advance from one stage of complexity to the next in a classic march of progress. To paraphrase Morbo, “Evolution does not work that way!”. Evolution does not inevitably lead to ever more complicated forms: some species develop greater complexity, some simplify, and others don't change much at all. There's also nothing linear about evolution. Family lineages split and split again. Linking all of the relationships together results in a tangled bush with ever branching limbs mercilessly pruned by the sheers of extinction which can whack off even the most promising buds. Creatures have adapted to the water then moved onto land only to move back into the water again. Wherever there is a niche for life to exploit, creatures capable of taking advantage of the resources therein do so and over time and natural selection, fit into their new lifestyles; even as their close relatives drift away in radically different directions down the generations.

The ultimate goal in Spore is to evolve creatures into beings capable of advanced thought, civilization, and technology. Actual evolution has no goal other than “whatever works for the moment”. If a big brain gets in the way of big jaw muscles, a predator species will develop whichever feeds its young the best, just ask any lion. Only a twig off the ape family branch lead to brains capable of such advancements, and of all the hominids, only Homo sapiens sapiens were lucky enough to dodge extinction into modern days. If anything, you could say Spore relies a lot less on luck than evolution does.

Ultimately, even though Spore's evolution is more Lamarckian than Modern Synthesis, does it matter? I'll snag a quote from Dr. Neil Shubin, author of Your Inner Fish here, “The differences between Spore and nature do not bother me. I see Spore for what it is: a game. And it is a game in the best sense of the word. It is not identical to nature, but it is a world that evolves, that changes and where the players are part of those processes.” Will Wright set out to create a game that offers a view through a keyhole of the vast, dynamic grandeur of the history of life and if it can kindle even a tiny spark of curiosity and interest in learning how our ancient, extended family evolved, then Spore will succeed as more than simply a very ambition game.

I just hope people stop making penis creatures long enough to appreciate both the science and Mr. Wright's creative efforts.

Rant: As much as I'm looking forward to playing Spore in its full glory, I'll have to settle for just the DS version as my computer is evil and malicious and would not even run the critter creator.

Related Links:

Crush Object: 8 Ways Will Wright Owns

Where Will You Go, Tecmo? What Will Happen to Our Love?

2008-09-04T22:00:00Z

This has been something of a tumultuous year for Tecmo. In the past twelve months, they’ve shipped just four games, three of which are Ninja Gaiden games. The fourth, Fatal Frame IV for Wii, wasn’t even developed in house (it was handled by Suda 51’s Grasshopper Manufacture.) None of these games were actually published by Tecmo, relying on companies as diverse as Eidos, Ubisoft, Microsoft, and Nintendo for distribution. In June, their public face and star designer, the outspoken, boozing womanizer Tomonobu Itagaki, quit the company days after Ninja Gaiden II released to middling reviews. In August, their president resigned and Square-Enix tried to take over the company. Today, Tecmo announced they’ll be the latest Japanese company to find refuge from shrinking domestic business by consolidating. Their new partner will be Koei.

Tecmo, I’m worried about you. Times are tough for Japanese developers developing traditional games for home consoles. We’ve had wonderful times together and I’m still looking forward to Tecmo Bowl: Kickoff this fall. Remember all the good times we had with Tecmo Bowl? Yeah. Corporate mergers are a good thing for Japanese developers. Look at Namco-Bandai, that’s gone well! That totally cut down on all those terrible licensed anime games Bandai made. Mergers are also good for creativity. Sega totally kept their strong creative streak after ducking out of the hardware business and merging with Sammy. Look at Square and Enix! They keep on making the same new, adventurous software they did fifteen years ago when they don’t have to. Why, they could just keep on cranking out things with the words Final and Fantasy on them and make a buck.

…

Bottom line, I’m concerned about Tecmo retaining their identity after the merger. They are, after all, merging with the house of Dynasty Warriors. Tecmo doesn’t always release great games, but they have a rich history of fun and interesting games. It would be a shame to see them just fade away.

(Link: Edge Online)

Related links:

Trailer Review: Tecmo Bowl – Kickoff
Whatcha Playing: Ninja Gaiden Dragon Sword
The 61FPS Review: Ninja Gaiden 2
Where is Shuichi Sakurazaki, Creator of Ninja Gaiden?

What'd I Miss? Panzer Dragoon

2008-09-04T21:54:00Z

Despite appearances, the console wars today just aren't as fierce as the days when we knocked out each other's teeth arguing for the Super Nintendo against the Genesis. The transition to the 64/32-bit era was especially fierce, with Nintendo boasting about the benefits of cartridges over CDs (and convincing idiots like me) while Sega thought it had nothing to fear from a young stallion named the Sony Playstation.

In the end, I got a Nintendo 64. When I couldn't resist the pull of Mega Man anime cut scenes any longer, I got a Playstation. By that time, the Sega Saturn was grabbing its chest and gasping for air and we all looked up from our copies of Final Fantasy VII just long enough to laugh at its suffering. Being something of a Nintendo fangirl during the Hedgehog-Plumber wars, I thought, "Ha ha, Sega. I never needed your stinky games anyway."

Except for Panzer Dragoon. I needed that one very badly.

Ever since I was too young to be significant (what, like I am now?), I've been big on dragons. It pained me to pretend I didn't care about missing the opportunity to slice through the skies as a soldier mounted on the most awesome steed created by human imagination, but I think I did a good job even if it cost me a little piece of my soul.

I'm pretty well over my system bias. Nintendo, just give me my Mario and Zelda...and call me if you ever decide to stop being stupid about the Mother series. Microsoft, give me awesome downloadable games and I'll overlook the 13-year-old who named himself "jOO FuRn@ce." Sony, just give me your leftovers and try not to talk too much. Sega...give me some Panzer Dragoon. You are working on some new games and an adaptation of Panzer Dragoon Saga, right?

...

Oh God. There is no justice in this world.

I have, of course, played Panzer Dragoon Orta and I know I can find the Windows version of the original game easily enough. But in this age of drop-of-a-hat remakes, Panzer Dragoon is the series that deserves refinement and retooling with the love given to Bionic Commando Rearmed and Final Fantasy IV DS. Unfortunately, the original team members scattered to the four winds and have taken their dragons with them.

Panzer Dragoon is one of a handful of series that you can truly say was unique. Its rugged world was instantly distinguishable from tens of thousands of post-apocalyptic worlds ruled by evil Empires. And there's never any mistaking Panzer Dragoon's Miyazaki-inspired dragon designs for another rip-off of Anne McCaffrey's flying pony brigade, AKA the Mary Sues of Pern. The bond between the dragon and its rider isn't overstated or mucked up with a lot of softcore erotica.

Hardcore Gaming 101 has a very excellent write-up about the entire Panzer Dragoon series, including two spin-offs I never knew existed: a Game Gear abomination and an anime adaptation that had the potential to be excellent, but instead was stunk up by the presence of a whiny hero and a blind girlfriend who can (of course) sense the feelings of monsters, including "RRRR" and "I HUNGER."

Drag on, dragons. Wherever you are.

Related Links:

Independent at a Price: Sega and Platinum Games
FMV Hell: Sonic CD
Sega CD on iPhone: I Like Where This Is Going

Trailer Review: Golden Axe

2008-09-04T21:00:00Z

In the grand pantheon of beat-em-ups, brawlers, hack-and-slashers, kiss-your-mother-with-that-mouth-ya-jerk, dick-punching games, Golden Axe is a middleweight. Hell, it started as a welterweight in 1989. The fantasy setting, magic powers, and ride-able dragons and chicken-salamanders were novel, certainly, but how could it compete with Final Fight, a game that let you be a pro-wrestling mayor who compulsively took off his clothing? How could its triumphant trio of sword-guy-in-underpants, little person, and Red Sonja-cosplayer compete with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Golden Axe was plain outclassed for its first couple of games. That is, until arcade-only sequel Death Adder’s Revenge came out, a game so gorgeous, strange, and playable that it stands as the best beat ‘em up ever made outside of Capcom and Konami (yeah, that’s right. It’s better than Streets of Rage. All of them.) Right when the series started showing its mettle, it all but disappeared. Death Adder’s Revenge’s legacy lived on in a cruddy Genesis sequel, a Saturn fighting game, and a bizarro PS2 remake of the series debut. Until now! Yes, the new Golden Axe that Sega first showed way back at E3 2006 is finally coming out and, as you can see from this trailer, it’s got a case of the browns. Golden Axe: Beast Rider looks competent for a modern beat ‘em up; not quite a God of War or Devil May Cry, but at least on par with Conan or Heavenly Sword (though more brazenly cheesecake than either.) Returning Red Sonja-cosplayer-protagonist Tyris Flare actually appears to be wearing more clothing than she used to, but not much, and her vocabulary has been greatly expanded. The biggest problem here? No multiplayer. Golden Axe’s best selling point, stripped right out.

I’m actually kind of excited about this game. It looks like readymade Up All Night fare.

Related links:

A Perfectly Cromulent Beat-Em-Up

Previous Trailer Reviews:

House of the Dead: Overkill
Riz-Zoawd
Idolm@ster PSP
The Last Guy
Tecmo Bowl: Kickoff
Captain Rainbow
The Past and Future With Mega Man 9 and Chrono Trigger DS
Densetsu no Stafi 5
Sonic Unleashed
Infinite Undiscovery
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood
Street Fighter 4
The Conduit
Mirror’s Edge

EVE Online Is an Elaborate Screen Saver

2008-09-04T20:00:00Z

I don't play MMORPGs, mainly because living in the same house as an MMORPG victim was one hell of an eye-opening experience. My stepdad has been playing Everquest since 1999, and my greatest memory of his nearly decade-long addiction is the day I walked down into our basement and saw him watching TV on the couch while Everquest played silently on a nearby computer. Wondering why he wasn't glued to the keyboard, I asked why he abandoned his game. The answer: "I'm traveling." His character was sitting on a ship.

That was not the life for me.

For some inexplicable reason, I was tricked into signing up for the free trial of EVE Online a few summers ago, due to all of the absolutely crazy stories of mass warfare coming out of the guild affiliated with the Something Awful Forums. It only took me a few days to learn that EVE Online is more fun to hear about than to play; it's basically "I'm Traveling:" The Game. But perhaps I should let Zero Punctuation's Yahtzee explain my point in a much more entertaining way:

Now, imagine a pretty starfield and let me sum up my EVE Online experience:

*set destination*
WHOOSH
WHOOSH
WHOOSH
*play with numbers*
*set destination*
WHOOSH
WHOOSH
WHOOSH
*play with numbers*
*set destination*
WHOOSH
WHOOSH
WHOOSH
*play with numbers*

Repeat until you get the point.

Related Links:

Yahtzee Rolls With the Big Dogs, Takes the Piss Out of GTA4
Yahtzee On E3: Are We Gaming in an Age of Uncreativity?
Yahtzee Says, Support Your Local Independent Developer (He's Right).

Anticipation Time: Dragon Quest IV

2008-09-04T19:00:00Z

For as much as we like to bitch and moan about innovation in gaming, sometimes it's just nice to be face-deep in a big ol' nostalgia pie--especially if said pie was almost given to us six years ago and then snatched away without the promise of future pie time. What I'm trying to say with this strained analogy is that the remake of Dragon Quest IV is finally coming to the US on September 16th, and we should all be thankful.

If you're unaware of the scandal behind the Dragon Quest IV remake, it's important to know that we almost got it six years ago; released for the Playstation in Japan, Enix promised to bring the game to the States on the back of the US-released Dragon Warrior VII's instructions. Unfortunately, Heartbeat, who "programmed" both VII and the IV remake, folded, making the necessary localization re-programming more trouble than it was actually worth. But honestly, Heartbeat's implosion was really for the best; it allowed Enix to pass the franchise to a much more qualified team (Level 5), and Heartbeat's take on the series kind of buried the magic of Dragon Quest under a load of crummy graphics (even for a game rooted in nostalgia) and sloppy, buggy menus. VII was already a turd of a game, but Heartbeat didn't help matters much.

My favorite Dragon Quest game is III, just because it feels like the absolute peak of old-school RPGs; it's sprawling, complex, and even self-referential, tying up what could have been contained in a trilogy. IV makes some different choices, scaling back on the globetrotting a bit to offer up charming, individual stories that eventually tie into each other for an epic finale with a fittingly epic amount of party members. But the neatest parts of Dragon Quest IV are strictly non-epic, like the chapter that throws you into the shoes of an RPG merchant; you're forced to tend shop and sell goods before you can set out on any kind of quest.

The game still looks a little rough around the edges; but things are crisper on the DS screen, and for some reason the amatuerish 3D graphics feel more at home on Nintendo's handheld than on a system capable of handling Vagrant Story and Metal Gear Solid. Whatever the case, it's all very charming, and seems far less bloated and swimmy than Final Fantasy IV's recent remake. Check out the trailer and dare to tell me that it won't warm the deadest of hearts:

Related Links:

Square-Enix: Reeling in the Devotees For More, Playing the Console Market With Aplomb
Would You Play a Final Fantasy VII Remake? Hmmm?
Final Fantasy IV DS: Love, Hope and Betrayal For the Busy Commuter

Are German Game Developers more Strategy-minded?

2008-09-04T15:00:00Z

Oooh, look at me, I read the Economist!

(ahem)

This article about German board games got me thinking: Are German video games generally more rules-based, as opposed to narrative-based, than games from other countries? Are they more purely games, as opposed to interactive entertainment?

Germany is to board-games what Belgium is to chocolate. It specialises in “Eurogames”, which emphasise strategy over showiness, downplay luck and conflict, lean towards economic rather than martial themes and strive to keep all the players at the table until the game’s end.

I checked out a list of German video game developers on Wikipedia (research!)

Blue Byte Software develops video game versions of the Settlers of Cataan board game, pictured above
Crytek made Farcry and Crysis, not exactly heady strategy
Factor 5 makes cartoony flight sims like Rogue Squadron and Lair
Piranha Bites made Gothic, an RPG
Shin'en Media made Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends - Harvest Time Hop and Fly. BAAAHAHAHA!

Germans are the keenest European [style] players, followed by the French and Dutch. Britons prefer games based on television characters; Italians don’t stay at home, says Mr Hüntelmann. In America, where classics like Monopoly dominate, Eurogames still have an avidly geeky following. Unlike Monopoly they demand thought; unlike electronic games, they encourage social interaction, says Paul Unger, a software developer who plays in New Jersey and Connecticut. That can also be a weakness: sometimes they seem too much like work.

Verdict: none. Seems like German game developers, like the rest of the world, are interested in where the money is, and involved strategy games just don't move units. Still, it looks like there are a handful of Teutonic developers keeping the flame alive.

In My Fantasy World, There is a Final Fantasy VI Anime

2008-09-04T02:00:00Z

That's right. Back when I had a brief anime phase in college, which mysteriously coincided with a long sexual drought, I had strictly non-sexual fantasies of a Final Fantasy VI anime. Two reasons: A.) Final Fantasy Unlimited was so bad that not even Japan wanted to see more of it, and B.) Final Fantasy VI's epic, operatic storyline that actually made sense (an important distinction) seemed perfectly tailored for serialized, animated fiction.

Unfortunately, Square's forays into the world of non-interactive entertainment have been affronts to even the unholy god who allowed them to exist in this world to prolong the suffering of mankind. Thank whatever applicable deity for obsessed Japanese fans, who have the spirit and free time I lack to make my own dreams come true.

Yes, it's essentially Full Metal Alchemist characters cosplaying as Final Fantasy VI characters and rotoscoped over previously-existing animation, but--damn it--a man can dream. Am I the only out there with such a far-off, adaptation-based wish? (This is where you respond and I feel better.)

Related Links:

Rockman Lucky Star
TVTropes' "Woolseyisms"

You Should Be Reading Sore Thumbs

2008-09-04T00:30:00Z

When long-time EGM staffers Dan "Shoe" Hsu and Crispin Boyer both left the magazine just a handful of months ago, it was a pretty big shock. The two were basically the last of EGM's "old guard," meaning that Dan and Crispin's tenure began in the mid-90s, back when Electronic Gaming Monthly was based out of Illinois. Since EGM is the only magazine I've continually read for 18 years--I still remember an entire school bus in awe of their Super Mario World import coverage--it was more than a little disappointing to see such veterans of games journalism decide to call it a day.

Of course, if I cared about Dan and Crispin as much as I thought I did, I would've known about their new blog less than three months after its launch. Pardon the massive oversight on my part.

What's important about all of this is that Sore Thumbs (not to be confused with the political/gaming webmanga by the same name [Jesus Christ]) makes for some good reading. Anyone paying attention to games journalism for the past few years should know that Dan and Crispin have an extremely low tolerance for the hoops of flaming bullshit the press has to jump through to appease publishers, and they've been quite outspoken about this topic--especially Dan, who would often use his EGM editorial space to tell the reader the struggles of maintaining integrity.

And now that they're more free than ever to talk about the problems of games journalism, Dan and Crispin have started a multi-part series on Sore Thumbs, aptly named "Behind the Scenes: Gaming Journalism." So far, the articles have been very candid and actually quite frustrating when you think about the future of sites and magazines that resist the demands of publishers. As someone who's been a semi-semi-professional in the biz for less than a year, I'm now less inclined than ever to take bribes. That'll show all of those people who never offered.

The Impetuousness Of Youth

2008-09-03T21:30:00Z

When I was writing up my lament about the end of good instruction booklets, it occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, I don't deserve really cool pack-ins. I didn't really appreciate the work that went into designing and translating the old texts. How many of us did? We were naught but children.

I remember a few years ago, my mother found our old Super Mario Bros 3 instruction booklet and handed it over to me like the corpse of a pet. Every page was marred with angry slashes of red crayon. I'm not sure if I'm to blame or if was the work of one of my brothers.

Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got 'til it's gone? I never thought beyond my selfish 9-year-old world and even thought that I could someday make a bundle off some desperate retro game collector bulding up an 8-bit legacy for his apathetic children.

Are any of your old games and instruction booklets still in good condition? Or at least, aren't covered in words that will offend your grandma?

Related Links:

The Death of Awesome Pack-in Material
Don't Call It Retro: Mega Man 9 Design Resurrection

Watcha Playing: Fantastic Contraption

2008-09-03T20:05:00Z

For the last few weeks I've tried different browser-based games, and this is one of my favorites. Fantastic Contraption presents a simple challenge: Get the object from here to there - except that the execution is never very simple. I'm thirteen levels in and I haven't yet resorted to a walkthrough or Youtube cheat, but I don't think I'm going to last much longer without at least checking youtube for some help with strategy. I've been playing a little bit on my lunch breaks every day. It's easy to pick up and play in short bursts. Built by this dude, Fantastic Contraption is uncompromising in its difficulty, yet you'll gladly spend a half hour or more trying to think of various ways to get aound obstacles like slippery steps, wide gaps, and imposing walls. Build simple two-wheeled "cars", massive treaded "tanks" or even catapults.

Your tools are wheels and connecting rods. That's it! The challenge is determining the length of the rods, and where to connect them to the wheels, which can turn clockwise or counterclockwise. This brilliant economy makes for a perfect little game. It's excellent flash titles like this that make me want to sell my Wii.

The Death Of Awesome Pack-In Material

2008-09-03T18:40:00Z

When I was bite-sized, Nintendo games were a rare treat that came to me on just a few days out of the year. It was always an experience, though. From one bright cardboard box you'd recieve a game (of course), a full-colour instruction book that usually included an extensive encyclopedia of enemy characters and items, maps, artwork and, of course, an offer to subscribe to Nintendo Power.

In these modern times, we get skeletal black-and-white instruction pamphlets contracted out to some godforsaken company without a spell-checker. Instead, we learn about games' hazards and inhabitants through extensive in-game tutorials and the developers' websites. Soon, all that will be packed with game discs will be a voice chip that growls, "Go check GameFAQs and feck off fer Chrissake."

In a way, games offer us more frivolous materials than they ever have, but now it's through digital means instead of collectables. I'm not one to get pissy about the march of progress, but sometimes when I open up a new game and see the sparse innards, the '80s brat in me says, "Awwww..."

I always figured developers took to paring pack-in material because the switch to CDs presented a perfect opportunity to save money with packaging as well as in development. Once buyers have accepted shelling out for less product, it's rare for a company to go back to their old ways (my husband never stops moaning about the days when McDonalds' Happy Meals used to come in cardboard boxes and included cookies or an ice cream cone).

Looking at this "Green Gaming" entry on the Wal-Mart gaming blog(!) though, it occurs to me that developers now have the perfect excuse for cutting back on pack-in material. Before, they just got lazy and/or wanted to save money. Now they're out to save the environment like so many Captain Planets. Yes, that was their intention all along! Initiate circle-jerk while gamers smile and nod approvingly. Veering off for a second, I don't know how I feel about being preached at by Wal-Mart. I know a naughty company that needs to clean up its own image and start treating its employees like human beings before going off on environmental crusades.

Of course, less junk is always okay by me. But then again, I never threw out my instruction booklets; I have a stack of them dating back to the NES era. Most of them have been scribbled in or chewed on by the dogs that existed in our household through the ages, but they still endure.

I salute your heroic end for the greater good, Nintendo pack-in junk.

Related Links:

Shiny Entertainment Promo Video is Distilled '90s
Bringing Sexy Back: Retro Controllers of the Future
The Art of Metroid Prime Echoes and Corruption

Question of the Day: Has the HD Revolution Happened and Does It Matter For Games?

2008-09-03T18:30:00Z

Waiting in line at a United States Post Office can be a trying experience. These are not sunny locales. They are dour, harshly lit domains ruled over by vicious taskmasters who expect you to possess arcane postal knowledge that are held as precious secrets by their kind. You can literally feel your will to live draining out of you as you stand in the slow moving line, your eyes wandering about, focusing only on posters of collectible Shrek stamps and the sad faces of other prisoners. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating. Indeed, pretty much every post office I’ve gone to with regularity has been staffed by wonderful men and women. It is boring as all hell to wait in one though, and wait you will if you live in a populated area. But it gives you an opportunity to lay eyes on US government advertising that is eerily friendly. For example, whilst spending half an hour at the post office yesterday, I couldn’t stop staring at a poster reminding citizens of the impending Digital TV Transition. A Tyrannosaurus Rex was eating an old-fashioned black-and-white television and saying that, come February 17th, you will no longer be getting your American Idol via analog airwaves. What struck me about the image was the television, a ratty little red thing coupled with a dinosaur to emphasize how antiquated it is. The Federal Communications Commission is actively telling the public that their TVs, while still functional, be old and busted so it’s time to join the digital revolution by getting a hot new one.

I bought an HD-set just one year ago, draining my savings account in the process. I suppose it’s unnecessary to mention that I got it for the express purpose of playing videogames. I’m curious, though, to see if I’m the exception to the rule. A scant few of my peers have upgraded their boob tubes and my colleague Bob mentioned only yesterday that he was still lugging around an SD set. It's been pretty swell having the set as it does make games super pretty, but, at the end of the day, I could just as easily be playing all of these games on a regular old TV (even Dead Rising, where the text is nigh on unreadable on an SDTV.) Watching TV wouldn't be a problem either since I don't use freaking rabbit ears.

So, dear reader, have you upgraded your TV for gaming? Does it really affect the quality of the games we play? Have you done it for television? Is getting an HDTV at this point even worth the extra cost? Let me know. I’m intrigued.

Related links:

Too Much Crap: The Gamer’s Lament

R.I.P. Xbox 720 and Playstation 4: The Future of Gaming

2008-09-03T18:00:00Z

When Dennis Dyack laid out his vision for the One-Console Future, he theorized that the extinction of multiple videogame consoles wasn’t just a utopian possibility “where games would become better in quality, cheaper, and more widely available.” He said it was inevitable. I’ve never agreed with Mr. Dyack, but I don’t necessarily think he’s too far off. As Wedbush Morgan’s resident maverick Michael Pachter says in the latest episode of GameTrailers’ Bonus Round, the console war is already on the road to being less about technological difference’s as it is about a war of branding. Not who has the better games, graphics, and controllers, but whose name is cooler. I think that’s true. But it’s only one possibility.

The overall subject of Bonus Round this week is the future of videogames. What will we be playing in seven or eight years, during what would traditionally be the next generation of consoles, and what will we be playing those games on? Geoff Keighly sat down with Pachter, former editor in chief of EGM Dan Hsu, and Xbox co-creator Seamus Blackley to discuss the subject and their dialogue got me thinking about Dyack’s land-of-milk-honey-and-no-proprietary-technology predictions. Both Blackley and Pachter agree that eventually, as social infrastructure continues to grow as the driving factor behind all entertainment and artistic expression, videogame consoles will naturally consolidate along with every consumer device in an effort to provide unified access to a user’s personal experience. Your games, your friends list, your profile, photos, family trees, etc. all linked in with everything you use, including your game console. The games themselves, from Pachter’s point of view, have solidified as content; much like television programs between the ‘60s and today, the format has reached its final form, the only evolution left being delivery and a polishing of presentation. Dan Hsu, however, proposes that the console market has been indelibly changed by the Wii. Going forward, Sony, Microsoft, and whomever else’s consoles will diversify into different experiences defined by inputs like the Wii’s motion controller or balance board.

That’s the true shape gaming’s future. Blackley and Pachter aren’t wrong that functionality between every consumer device will continue to converge to satisfy our new communal needs, but this doesn’t ensure a Dyackian console. No, videogames are too young and are changing too quickly. They are in their adolescence as a form of expression. But the format, how we touch these stories, diversions, and competitions, is just being born.

Related links:

Too Much Crap: The Gamer’s Lament
The Madden IQ and The Future of Competitive Gaming
Counterpoint: Too Many Games?
Serious Business: Dennis Dyack Blames the Internet

All Ages: Viva Piñata and Building Games For Children

2008-09-02T22:00:00Z

I got no end of grief from Peter Smith when I started playing Pokémon Diamond a couple of months back. Pete’s no stranger to mindless grinds; the man’s confessed his many replays of the NES Final Fantasy games. No, he was opposed to Pokémon because, “It’s for f$?!ing babies, man.” The argument confused me. After all, Pete, like me and the rest of 61 FPS’ team of outlaw journalists, was raised on the 8-bit era’s simple designs as conceived by Shigeru Miyamoto and Nintendo. Though Pokémon’s billion-dollar audience is mostly made up of the Trapper-Keeper and Lunchables set, the game itself is in the age-and-gender-neutral mode that’s made Nintendo the corporate success they are today. “Family Friendly” is the accepted term but it’s just a media savvy way of saying that games like Pokémon, Mario, Brain Age, and Animal Crossing can be played and loved by very young players, but they aren’t games explicitly for children. He did get me thinking, though: Have I ever actually played a game designed specifically with very young players in mind? Not the Reader Rabbit-style edutainment so many kids have been subjected to since the early-80s. Just regular, old, played-for-fun videogames.

My first exposure to Viva Piñata was marked by cynicism. Microsoft’s monumentally expensive acquisition of Rare was just under four years old when it was announced and the partnership had yielded dubious results; bad sequels, middling remakes, one atrocious new IP, and another that had been years in development on three separate consoles before it was finally released. Between the animated series and the variety of brightly colored critters to gather in the game, Piñata seemed like a soulless and pointed marketing machine built for no other reason than to make Microsoft some of that proverbial Pokémon money. So it came as a surprise when the game turned out to be both a commercial flop (relatively speaking) and a critical success, praised for its peaceful, eccentric presentation while being ignored by gamers and parents alike. I never got around to playing the first, but its reputation brought me to Viva Piñata’s sequel, Trouble In Paradise, free of cynicism and curious about what I’d find. Turns out it’s a reputation well-earned. Even though Piñata is a brazen fusion of Nintendo’s Animal Crossing and Pokémon – surrounded by strange, brightly colored characters, you are given free reign to alter a seemingly mundane plot of land to your gardener-heart’s content but are tasked with gathering hordes of diverse fantasy creatures in order to level up and expand your domain – it is impeccably made, its charms difficult to resist.

What’s most impressive about Viva Piñata, though, is that it is explicitly designed for children. Where family friendly fare like Pokémon relies on tried-and-true game design tropes to remain accessible (simple but abundant text explanations, limited buttons, menus comprised mostly of lists, etc,) Viva Piñata relies on the language of children’s media to invite players in. When beginning a game, or garden if you prefer, you’re introduced to Leafos, a masked, soft-voiced woman who guides you through your first tasks. Rather than burden you with sheaves of instruction, Leafos points you to a small red and white symbol that will appear over your next action on the screen. The target can point to things as simple as your menu button or one of the first piñatas to enter your garden. She’ll leave you to find your own path, but when you succeed in any task in the game, she praises you for the achievement and briefly explains why what you’ve done progresses the game. You’re also scolded for bad behavior. Hit someone with a gardening tool, you get a warning. Do it again, and you’re punished by having your tool taken away. Over the game’s first two hours, you’re introduced to the other colorful characters who live around your garden and aid you in your endeavors, a cast whose similarity to Fred Rogers and Jim Henson’s compatriots is hard to ignore. After those initial hours though, you’re set free to explore and play. The game teaches and encourages the player through positive reinforcement in a secure environment rather than through text-based instruction and trial-and-error. Its hand-holding is never condescending or frustrating, merely helpful.

There’s the difference between a game made for children and any other. Viva Piñata, like Pokémon, can be enjoyed by everybody, but its design is built around how a child learns. It isn’t the toys surrounding it, just how it’s made.

Related links:

To Be a Pokémon Master
Going Back in There: My Very First Hour With Pokémon
The B.Beard All-Stars: Hour Eight of Pokémon
Common: Rare Makes Bad Games
Raised on the Stuff

Disaster: Day of Crisis Comes Out in October. Right. Sure.

2008-09-02T21:00:00Z

According to a press release Nintendo Europe dropped today, Disaster: Day of Crisis will be hitting the EU’s finest videogame mongers on October 24th. In 2008. I swear, that’s what they said. Now, despite my previously expressed skepticism concerning Disaster’s existence, it’s hard to ignore a press release. Then again, back in April, Nintendo Japan told Famitsu magazine that it would be shipping on July 3rd, 2008. Then it was “delayed indefinitely” in May. E3 came and went with absolutely no mention of the game either. Is Disaster: Day of Crisis actually going to ship in October? Who knows. More importantly, does anyone care? Yes, every other person on Earth with even a passing interest in videogames has verbally taken Nintendo out behind the proverbial shed for not releasing any traditional videogames on Wii but is Disaster what people want? Is a game no one has seen in motion for almost two years, an action game developed by a Japanese studio who has only ever made RPGs, a game no one has actually played the answer to hardcore prayers?

I don’t know. It might be. Frankly, a press release doesn’t even prove it exists at this point.

Many thanks to NeoGAFfer Shiggy for spreading the word.

Related links:

Where is Wii’s Disaster: Day of Crisis?
Many Colors in the Hardcore Rainbow
WiiWare: Nintendo, Babe, It Just Isn’t Working Out
Shut It, Old Man: The Absurd Extent of Nintendo’s Secrecy

The Dividing RPG: Secret of Mana

2008-09-02T20:00:00Z

Squaresoft's Secret of Mana will be coming to Virtual Console this September, probably as Seiken Densetsu 2. It's probably a good thing Square-Enix didn't try to reshuffle the Mana titles when they came to America. Re-numbering Final Fantasy already requires more math than I want to do outside a school setting.

(Yes, I was a dunce, and I still am according to expert testimony.)

Secret of Mana's VC revival got people a-muttering on message boards and IRC. And I was shocked and appalled to learn that there are people out there who care not for Randi's pastel-coloured adventure to find a giant tree.

They called it dated.

They called it boring.

They called it buggy, and "buggy" is actually being generous. By all programming logic, every copy of Secret of Mana should have imploded on the store shelves.

I might be biased. Secret of Mana was my first RPG outside of the Dragon Warrior/DragonQuest series, so it wasn't too hard for me to be blown away by the harrowing story of an orphan who was fathered by a sword.

On the other hand, I have no problem going back to old games and calling myself a loser for ever enjoying them. I bought Breath of Fire II on the Virtual Console a few months back and now I'm trying to remember what brand of crack I was smoking when I thought that was a playable game.

But when I play Secret of Mana, it always feels, if you allow me to borrow Chuck Mangione's body for a second, so good. I love the bright graphics and detailed enemy sprites. I love the towns that can't help but be rainbow-coated tourist attractions even if it's full of shuffling zombies and is neighbour to the shrine of a death cult. I love the three-player option that let my younger brother act like a total dick while I was trying to save the world. I love having to backtrack and help my brainless computer-controlled partners figure out how a door works while metal crawlers chase me and burn my ass. Oh wait, I hated that. That was bullshit.

I love wondering if Squaresoft knew they were naming their female hero after a Jewish holiday that encourages revelers to get really drunk.

Finally, I love the music. Calm and summery, Into the Thick of It remains one of my favourite pieces for the "overworld" music in any game. But even that doesn't touch The Dark Star or Still of the Night.

Oh God, that last piece initiated Griffon Hand flashbacks. Fetch me my Dragoon Lance, Billy.

Secret of Mana remains the only Mana game that I would jump in front of a bus to protect. Even Seiken Densetsu 3, which received a lovely fan translation, never grabbed me. I, however, grabbed the Game Boy Advance's Sword of Mana, threw it on the ground and jumped on top of it with steel-toed boots. Take that, relentless menu navigation.

Perhaps I was not meant to understand the ways of others, as they were not meant to understand me.

Or maybe my taste rocks and everyone else's sucks. Yeah, that has to be it!

Related Links:

TVTropes' "Woolseyisms"
Square-Enix's Coup Brings Back Memories
Know Your Final Fantasy IV Trivia. It Could Save Your Life.

Sweet Sassy Molassey! Super Mario RPG on the Virtual Console

2008-09-02T19:00:00Z

It always sucks to hear what other countries are getting in their respective digital download marketplaces, because America tends to get the shaft. A typical scenario: "Hey, look: the Japanese Playstation Store got Metal Gear Solid and Einhander! What's new for the US this week? Blasto." *sound of gun being cocked*

But someone, somewhere, must have taken pity on the puny American dollar, because Super Mario RPG--a game that was released elsewhere earlier in the summer--is now available for download on the Wii's Virtual Console. This is big news, because A.) Super Mario RPG is the most "important" game to come out for the VC since god knows when, and B.) hells yes it is worth buying.

Admittedly, it is kind of an odd game; unlike later Mario RPGs, this one feels the most Final Fantasy-ish--half of the creative content belongs to Square, and it doesn't really jive well with the Mario Universe. But it's still a great RPG, and, like Chrono Trigger, one of the few RPGs worth replaying; at around 20-25 hours, it's very well-paced and you never, ever have to grind for experience. Most of the time you'll reach the level cap of 30 shortly before the final dungeon, making the typical tedious late-game leveling a thing of the past--and just like Earthbound's progressive enemy encounter system, Super Mario RPG's ergonomic take on the genre never really caught on outside of its own franchise.

Also worth mentioning is the fantastic, fabulous (other "f" adjective needed here) soundtrack, which may be my favorite work of Square composer Yoko Shimomura. Her soundtrack is bouncy, jumpy ear candy; it's a great mix of arranged classic Mario tunes and her own ultra-catchy originals. And since I'm without cable at my new apartment until tomorrow (don't ask how I'm updating now), all I can do to console myself is put on the OST and try not to lapse into a diabetic coma. Luckily, I have the SMRPG fan remix album Heavy Troopa is Ready to Launch! on my iPod, which is mostly great outside of a few embarrassing rap arrangments that wouldn't even fly in a Knuckles level. There's also an episode of the gaming OST podcast Into the Score, which explains why the SMRPG soundtrack is awesome with fancy-pants musical terminology just in case you don't believe me. But you should.

Oh yeah; there's this, too:

Related Links:

Mario Will Not Retire. He Will Outlive Us All.
Ys and You