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  • Whatcha Playing: de Blob

     

     

    Just a few short days ago, I was "Whatcha Playing" Secret of Evermore. That is, until de Blob arrived in my mailbox. It's a delightful romp through an increasingly complex and challenging environment, where just a few basic skills are utilized in clever ways. In short, this game is everything that Super Mario Galaxy should have been, but wasn't.

    Read More...


  • Japan Scares Me: Tokyo Game Show Rising, Strangeness, and Panty-shot Beat ‘Em Ups

    Does it ever. Japan has me trembling in my delicate booties. Typically it’s just one thing or another that gets me quaking in abject terror: a bizarre fan-made video here, a witch molestation game there. Today, Japan’s working overtime. Gaming exists, at the Japanese moment, in a state of flux. Traditional gaming appears to be dwindling – way back in June 2007, Screen Digest predicted that 89% of Japanese households would own a Nintendo DS, a number that will likely need to be increased after the DSi releases later this year – while simultaneously thriving thanks to Capcom’s Monster Hunter Portable juggernaut. Major publishers continue to consolidate while the nation’s auteur creators start crafting more and more games to suit Western tastes and flock to Western publishing houses. Hell, the Xbox 360, an American console, outsold the PS3 throughout September. Things are topsy-turvy over there. It’s enough to make a man skittish, especially with the Tokyo Game Show due to start in just forty-eight hours.

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  • No Alternate Soundtrack: de Blob

    I can't stop playing de Blob. I've tried, honestly I have, but I'm convinced that de Blob will maintain control of my home console gaming time until LittleBigPlanet arrives and is likely for a powerful comeback even after that. Yes, as an art school graduate, I find a certain nostalgic rush in a game where the story involves splattering paint around a sprawling metropolis in order to take down an overbearing corporation with a military dictatorship over the land, and yes, the game's bright and enthusiastic roll-into-everything gameplay brings back the charm of the original Katamari Damacy, and yes, this game has easily the best art direction I've seen on the Wii since Super Mario Galaxy, but I'm not sure that those are what keep me coming back every day (though that is certainly enough, I imagine). No, what keeps me coming back, oddly enough, is the music.

    Read More...


  • Low-Rent RPGs: A Good Idea

    Tales of Symphonia was how I spent the summer of 2004, and, along with Dragon Warrior VII and Persona 3: FES, is one of the very few games I've spent more than 100 hours playing. I've known for a long time that a sequel to Symphonia would eventually be hitting the Wii--but I must've not been paying attention, because Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World comes out next friggin' month. While I figure out how to take a leave of absence from graduate school, wet your whistle (or any woodwind instruments you have lying around the house) with the official English trailer:



    I'll say right now that the Tales games have a pretty low batting average; on the whole, about a third of them are worth playing--and out of that third, only a few are truly excellent. I've actually been a bit disappointed with the series since Symphonia; Legendia--despite having what may be the world's greatest RPG soundtrack--was a major step down, and Abyss was fun until my experience was throttled by constant, inescapable load times. I'm still not certain if DotNW will suck on toast, but at least one thing is clear: I dig Namco's approach.

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  • Reminder: Shining Force is Awesome

    It may be relatively unknown, but Sega's Shining series has been pretty prolific since its 1991 debut; the little research I've done tells me that there have been 16 games in the franchise--though it's important to note that anything Shining started to suck around 1997 or so.  The loss of developer Camelot Software Planning, combined with Sega's general financial failure, caused the Shining name to be repeatedly exploited in games that had absolutely nothing to do with the series' S-RPG roots.  To be fair, Camelot didn't always have the Midas touch when it came to the Shining series--see aberrations like Shining Wisdom--but Sega and its development teams seem committed to slapping the Shining name on everything but strategy RPGs.  And that's a damn shame.

    Now that Camelot has been exclusively pumping out Nintendo sports games, all we are left with are memories, and the weeks Nintendo decides to release good things on Virtual Console Mondays.  This happens to be one of those weeks, what with Shining Force II hitting the Virtual Console today.  Now we can rest assured that our memories haven't lied to us; Shining Force is awesome!  Now let's just be glad that Camelot decided to let the interminable Golden Sun series die, lest their reputation be damaged.

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  • Let the Mega Man 9 Speed Runs Begin

     

    It took much longer than I thought, but intrepid 2D platform fans have finally started uploading the fruits of their labor; so now, those with skills outside the Mega Man domain (i.e., me) can stare in awe and wonder as puddles of drool develop at their feet.  What I've chosen to share with you today is--at the moment of this writing, anyway--the fastest Mega Man 9 speed run currently available on YouTube; though research tells me that the world record is a minute and change less than cordic's time of 23:16.  Follow the fun here, or watch below through the techno-wizardry known as embedding:



    I'm not one to call anyone's Mega Man skills into question, but cordic cheeses this run just a little bit; note the starting amount of 999 screws, and the fact that this run is segmented as opposed to being one straight shot. But there's a whole lot of raw talent here--and if this dude doesn't have a turbo controller, I am prepared to call him out as a robot foolishly trying to integrate himself into human society. We're onto you, robot.

    Read More...


  • Gears of LittleBig Fable Music: Considering the First-Party Blitz



    October brought its true fury and grandeur to New York today. It took three days, but the nattering leftovers of summer finally drifted out to sea like so many dead leaves and left behind the lowlight and intent wind so particular to the month. Walking down the street, I could smell it, looming like bonfire smoke and Halloween parades: game season.

    I hold no love for the business structure that sees some ninety-percent of the year’s most ballyhooed games releasing all within a tight ten week window. It leads to sensory overload and, for the devoted gamer, it adds to already-big backlogs. But I’d be lying if I said it isn’t always exciting. All of the hype, all of the previews, leaked screens, developer showcases, and high, high hopes all lead here and it always begins in October. Holiday 2008, as it were, is going to be a particularly interesting season considering that it is gaming’s first to witness true third-party agnosticism. Nigh on every publisher from East and West is releasing their biggest games on any and all platforms available. (There are rare exceptions. See Sega’s Valkyria Chronicles, Valve’s Left4Dead, and a number of Wii titles.) This brings even closer scrutiny to the console holders' offerings; more than ever, first-party games need to be system sellers. They have to act as ambassadors, convincing casual and hardcore gamers alike that if they put money into such and such a system, there will be more where that came from.

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  • Pikmin Remake: Too Soon?

    The Pikmin series is one of Nintendo's most recent franchises, and seemingly, its most overlooked--but Nintendo itself is seeking to remedy this with a new, improved Wii-make (I shudder at the terminology) of their cartoony take on the RTS. As a big fan of Pikmin, it's nice to see some attention given to a series that's really deserved more; and even hardcore Nintendo fans can admit that the GameCube was by no means a popular enough system to make Pikmin the hit it should have been. But if this new Pikmin is more of a remake than the Wii's Resident Evil 4, wouldn't Nintendo's time be better spent on making a new game? Note: I realize they don't normally solicit advice from gaming blogs.

    Of course, we don't know if the "new" Pikmin Miyamoto casually mentioned at E3 is this remake--so things are still up in the air at this point. But if the only new Pikmin we see this gen is a slightly revamped version of a seven year-old game, you'll be able to taste the disappointment in the air.

    Read More...


  • Lowering the Standard: Why Nintendo’s Hardcore vs. Casual Commitments Aren’t the Problem

    I tend to sound overly pessimistic when talking about the Wii. I happen to love the system. I think the funky little box has quite a lot going for it and it’s given me a handful of unforgettable gaming experiences, with Wii Sports and No More Heroes chief among them. No, I’m not overly pessimistic about the Wii. I’m overly pessimistic about Nintendo. As much as I want to be excited about a new Punch-Out!, I can’t help but look at the facts: Nintendo has released more traditional, hardcore games in the Wii’s first two years than they did in the Gamecube’s first four and all of them, with the exceptions of Super Mario Galaxy and Super Smash Bros. Brawl, have been below the gold standard of Nintendo’s internally developed software from generations past.

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  • The Erotic Adventure of Little Mac

    I grew up sharing my Nintendo with my older brother. It probably won't surprise you all to learn that this meant enduring a lot of hockey games. I far preferred games of the Legend of Zelda and Dragon Warrior variety; long rambling adventures full of swords and monsters that frothed blood yet still came out looking far less violent than Blades of Steel.

    Ah, but I did have a crush on a sports game or two, especially Punch Out!!. We actually owned Mike Tyson's unholy version of the game, which Nintendo now tries to pass off as a bad fever dream the retro community had during a bout of the flu.

    Regardless, I remember what I remember, and I remember being very good at Punch Out!! and its gorgeous successor, Super Punch Out!! for the Super Nintendo. Little Mac kind of faded away after that, but it looks like he'll be back on the Wii. Yes sir, we hated Nintendo at the end of E3 2008, but it looks like we have a big fat reason to get on our knees and kiss ass again. Little Mac never left us; he was only training for the new generation. He's back, and he hasn't grown an inch. That is the right thing according to the order of the universe.

    Read More...


  • Overpowering the Flavor: Cooking Mama World Kitchen and Cutscene Clutter



    Way back in the day, or 2006 if you prefer, I was just starting to try my hand at writing about videogames. I found myself waxing philosophical about the delights of digital entertainment for Nerve’s sister magazine, the ever-popular parenting rag Babble. Writing about videogames for potentially uninformed parents is a whole lot different than writing for gamers. It's not just the descriptive language at your disposal (turns out not everyone knows exactly what you mean when you use “boss” and “fight” in conjunction,) but also the games you find yourself discussing. Had I not been writing for Babble, chances are I would have never played the original Cooking Mama. It seemed perfectly charming, another creative idea born out of the Nintendo DS’ meteoric rise to power, but not exactly the type of game I’d go out of my way to play. Much as I like to fancy myself an aesthete, I’m almost always going to choose shooting zombies over making a soufflé, in real life and in videogames. Of course, I became hopelessly addicted to Cooking Mama. Call it Pavlov’s Dog training, but every single time I heard a ding and saw a pretty gold medal after finishing a recipe, I immediately fired up another. Cooking Mama struck a precious balance between precise gameplay and speed. There was never any waiting in the original, just a flow of manageable tasks and visual rewards.

    Read More...


  • Klonoa's Truimphant(?) Return

    Klonoa: Door to Phantomile, a mostly-forgotten mascot platformer for the PSX, may be far less forgotten in the not-too-distant future. 1UP reports that the first--and admittedly, best--Klonoa game will see new life on the Wii in a fully-refurbished remake this December, which is great news--for Japan, anyway. Not only will this remake excise the game's lousy pre-rendered sprites; everyone who missed Namco's mascot of indeterminate species back in 1997 will finally get a chance to see why they should regret all of their decade-old mistakes.

    Here's a video of the original game in action, lest we've forgotten:



    I've always held a bit of disappointment in my heart for the general failure of the Klonoa series; despite the furry trappings, the first game was a whimsical adventure with a seemingly contrary bittersweet--and slightly depressing--tone. And the economy of effective storytelling fit in well with the game's deceptively-simple puzzle-platforming mechanics; Klonoa is a solid little game, and very similar to the 8-bit 2D platformers that undoubtedly inspired it.  Unfortunately, the series was launched at a time when 2D vs. 3D was a common argument, back before people realized they could live together--kinda like Ebony and Ivory (ask your parents).

    Read More...


  • Me VS. Blue Hedgehog



    Just yesterday Bob Mackey posted about his experiences with Sonic the Hedgehog. Naturally, this put me in mind of my own rather odd relationship with Sega's troubled mascot. Back in the days of the 16 bit wars I was deep in the Nintendo trenches, so anything that came from Sega was of the devil. Sonic was an enemy general to be assaulted on any playground where gamers collided in verbal combat. Okay, enough with the war analogies. After growing up and leaving my blind brand loyalties behind, I decided to try and like the guy. After all, with such a large fan following, Sonic games had to be pretty good right?

    Read More...


  • Awesome Wario Land: Shake It "Ad"

     
    With all the excitement going on over eight blue bits, we've been overlooking another significant sidescroller: Wario Land Shake It for the Wii.

    Wario is a big fat guy, not exactly the subtle type. He's probably grown bigger and louder since his first appearence in Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins. I blame it on all the sugar he's doubtlessly needed to consume to keep his ADD levels at max for WarioWare's never-ending hyper spaz.

    But what happens when you're hefty like Wario and you throw your weight around? You end up breaking shit on YouTube, yo.

    Obey Waaaario. Destroy Maaario. Oh, and buy Wario's game, yes?

    (I'd like to buy it, actually. Somehow the idea of shaking the Wii remote to bully enemies out of their milk money is very compelling.)

    Read More...


  • Watcha Playing: Blast Works -Build-Trade-Destroy-



    After sitting in my game drawer for at least a month, I've finally torn the cellophane off my copy of Blast Works, a quirky SHMUP that plays the same as Tumiki Fighters, another quirky SHMUP you've probably never heard of. Basically you play by piloting a little ship through a scrolling gauntlet of little enemy ships determined to shoot your little ship out of the sky, standard procedure right? Where the quirkiness comes in is in the upgrade department. In most shooters you catch power-ups or buy better equipment to enhance your ship. In Blast Works, you scavenge what you shoot.

    Read More...


  • Mega Man 9: IT'S OUT NOW

    Barring some sort of life-altering world crisis, Mega Man 9 should be available on the Wii's Shopping Channel at this very moment. That's right; a new official Mega Man game now exists in the universe. What did you do to deserve this? Probably nothing; but I'm sure you have 10 bucks, and that certainly makes up for all of the karma.

    If you don't own a Wii, you're going to have to wait a few excruciating and interminable days before you can download Mega Man 9 on your XBox 360 or PS3.  But if you really think about it, the Wii is the best platform for Mega Man 9--and this has absolutely nothing to do with the typical snide commentary about the comparatively lackluster graphics of Nintendo's console.  Out of the big three home systems, only the Wii has a controller befitting of Mega Man's 2-D legacy.

    Read More...


  • Castlevania Judgment(s): Iga Continues to Show a Keen Understanding of His Franchise on DS, But His First Wii Title Misses the Point



    I tried to keep an open mind when Castlevania Judgment was announced back at the beginning of July. Yeah, it seemed that making a Castlevania themed fighting game – oh, forgive me, Mister Igarashi. A 3D versus action game. Right. – was about as good an idea as a Sonic the Hedgehog fighting game, but it might be good! Stranger things have, after all, happened, and Castlevania has twenty years worth of memorable characters, weapons, and environments to pull from. The open arena play, borrowing heavily from Capcom’s fondly remembered Power Stone brawlers on Dreamcast, also seemed like the ideal foundation for the franchise’s transition into the world of fighters. Maybe it would be good fun. Maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be as bad as Soul Calibur Legends.

    Well, it’s better than Soul Calibur Legends, but, after going a few rounds with at Konami’s fall preview event in New York today, I wouldn’t call Castlevania Judgment a must play Wii game. I also wouldn’t call it a good game.

    Read More...


  • What I'm Playing This Weekend: Super Mario Bros 3

    And I mean the original Super Mario Bros 3, babes. Well, as "original" as a Virtual Console title gets.

    I doubt I'll be playing for long. My husband and I have been going through the game level by level--no warping, of course--in a two-player game and making stupid remarks and now we're in Bowser's domain. Most of the stupid remarks are mine and go back to the days when I used to play with my brothers. My husband was a single child and I think he missed out on a special kind of chemistry that only two genetically-similar kids can provide when they're plopped in front of the television. For instance, every single time I go into a Toad House while donning a raccoon tail, I select a box by pressing A and B together. If I'm lucky, Mario's gorgeous butt will face us and I can say, "Ha ha, he's peeing!" It never gets old. At least I don't think so.

    Read More...


  • Watcha Playing: Opoona

    As a self-confessed JRPG addict who should have quit using half a decade ago, I tend to try just about anything and everything in the genre--thanks to the work of my inner demons.  Sometimes this works out in my favor, with games like Persona 3: FES, but more often than not I'm trudging through something like Eternal Sonata with no means of escape.  I'm not quite sure where Opoona falls on the cream-to-crap spectrum, but after about three hours, I can at least tell you that it's different.

    Allow me to explain:

    The Good: That dude on the right is your protagonist, so that should give you a good indication of what you're in for; Opoona isn't your typical Japanese gingerbread version of Tolkien.  Instead, it's a quirky little space RPG about a family of aliens stranded on a distant planet.  What also separates Opoona from your typical JRPG is the control setup; you only use the Wiimost Nunchuck, which--aside from some problems moving the camera--feels like the optimal configuration for this kind of game.  It makes me think of how great the short-lived one-handed PSX controller from Ascii could have been--it wasn't just a suggestive piece of fiction joked about during the release of Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball.  Anyhow, the simple, action-y battle system--based entirely around throwing the "bonbon" on Opoona's head--works great with the limited controls available on the Nunchuck.

    As a relatively loading-free experience, Opoona gets right what a lot of RPGs get wrong. For a genre known for its fragmented gameplay, there's nothing worse than constant, awkward pauses breaking up what would be an otherwise good game.  A flash of black between rooms and battles is all you'll notice in Opoona--if you do notice it.

    The game also has a surprising soundtrack by hotshot composer Hitoshi Sakimoto (Final Fantasy XII, Final Fantasy Tactics, Odin Sphere) that does have its moments of bombast, but manages to play around with the Opoona's lighthearted theme in a way that feels very different than his usual work.

    More impressions after the cut.

    Read More...


  • Watcha Playing: Geometry Wars Galaxies



    When I was a kid and had all the time in the world to play games I had no money to buy them. Now I'm an adult with a halfway decent paycheck I can afford to buy any game I want. Unfortunately that paycheck is attached to a full time job so I have little time to play. That is cruel irony. I have always loved beefy games; full blown action adventures, platformers, and the biggest time sinks of all, RPGs. However, it is only relatively recently that I've come to fully appreciate quick fix games; games like Geometry Wars Galaxies that I can play for hours or minutes and still get the full experience.

    Read More...


  • Flying Gay Men Invade Virtual Console!

    The Cho Aniki series of aggressively-gay horizontal shooters has always been easy joke fodder; for about three or four years in a row, a Cho Aniki screenshot/caption tag-team appeared in nearly every issue of EGM. Through the march of time, Boong-Ga Boong-Ga has since replaced Cho Aniki in the "Oh, those wacky foreigners" category, but we've never been graced with an American release of any Cho Aniki game...until today.

    The VC still lack Earthbound, Majora's Mask, and Yoshi's Island, but today Nintendo decided to rectify the dearth of TG-16 shmups on their digital download service by releasing the first Cho Aniki game. I can't tell you if it's good or bad, but I can tell you that it's weird.

    Everything I know about the Japanese view of homosexuality is based on portrayals of gays in Japanese media, which boils down to the stereotype of male homosexuals being buff bodybuilders (with a surprising lack of mustache), and that the mere presense of gays is a joke in and of itself. A still image of Will and Grace would probably be considered the height of humor in Japan.

    Read More...


  • R.I.P. Xbox 720 and Playstation 4: The Future of Gaming



    When Dennis Dyack laid out his vision for the One-Console Future, he theorized that the extinction of multiple videogame consoles wasn’t just a utopian possibility “where games would become better in quality, cheaper, and more widely available.” He said it was inevitable. I’ve never agreed with Mr. Dyack, but I don’t necessarily think he’s too far off. As Wedbush Morgan’s resident maverick Michael Pachter says in the latest episode of GameTrailers’ Bonus Round, the console war is already on the road to being less about technological difference’s as it is about a war of branding. Not who has the better games, graphics, and controllers, but whose name is cooler. I think that’s true. But it’s only one possibility.

    Read More...


  • Sweet Sassy Molassey! Super Mario RPG on the Virtual Console

    It always sucks to hear what other countries are getting in their respective digital download marketplaces, because America tends to get the shaft. A typical scenario: "Hey, look: the Japanese Playstation Store got Metal Gear Solid and Einhander! What's new for the US this week? Blasto." *sound of gun being cocked*

    But someone, somewhere, must have taken pity on the puny American dollar, because Super Mario RPG--a game that was released elsewhere earlier in the summer--is now available for download on the Wii's Virtual Console. This is big news, because A.) Super Mario RPG is the most "important" game to come out for the VC since god knows when, and B.) hells yes it is worth buying.

    Read More...


  • Bringing Sexy Back: Retro Controllers of the Future

    Take a gander at this metal USB game pad from Dream Cheeky. It features all the buttons of a SNES controller and none of the ergonomics, but honestly, who cares? Look at how shiny it is! Look at how smooth and sleek it is, like your 24th century android girlfriend, with the tiny L and R buttons as her perk nipples and a rubberized grip as her toned synthetic hips. She has a six foot USB cord so as to not smother you, and she even swings both ways with both PC and Mac support. Sure, she doesn't have as many features as the Logitech pad that's been loyal to me for years, but I'm willing to sacrifice function for form when its a form like this.

    There, now that your PC games have an extra dash of Björk's "All Is Full of Love," let's see what we can do about the sexiest home console around, Nintendo's Wii.

    Read More...


  • Ys and You

    Monday saw the release of Ys Book I & II for the Wii's Virtual Console, making it the first time since mid-May I was remotely interested in anything on the service.  Standard VC bitchery: Nintendo, I am willing to buy digital versions of games I already own.  The save battery on my Earthbound cart still worked in 2005, but in the horrible year of 2008, who knows?

    If you weren't too aware of gaming in the early 90s,
    Ys Book I & II was basically the Halo of the ill-fated TurboGrafx-CD--not in how it was treasured by millions of gamers, but by what a showpiece it was for the hardware.  In 1990, CD-ROM technology was still astoundingly new, and NEC knew it could impress the pants off of prospective console buyers; hence, the showing of promotional videos featuring footage of Ys in gaming stores across the country (and I should know, because for some reason NEC also sent a handful of copies to my house).

    Read More...


  • No Alternate Soundtrack: Donkey Kong Jungle Beat

    Nearly a full year before the first Guitar Hero introduced gamers to the now all-too familiar concept of game controllers shaped like musical instruments, Nintendo released Donkey Kong Jungle Beat for the Gamecube worldwide. The game was a platformer in the vein of Donkey Kong Country that overlooked the Gamecube controller in favor of the DK Bongo peripheral used earlier for Donkey Konga, a rhythm game that aped (oh god, sorry about that) its own development team's Taiko Drum Master series of games. Rather than come off as gimmicky as a result of this peripheral use, though, Jungle Beat felt fresh and intuitive and was praised by critics for its innovation. Years before the Wii would get gamers off their butts, Jungle Beat was moving players and causing them to work up a sweat, all while playing a traditional platformer.

    Read More...


  • Game Rage



    Video games can be relaxing. They can be stimulating or relieve stress. They can also be utterly rage inducing and that's what this post is all about: The Rage.

    Read More...


  • WiiWare: Nintendo, Babe, It Just Isn’t Working Out



    Nintendo has been on my mind over the past few days. Not as a corporation in the business of making video games. More like a singular anthropomorphic entity. This is how Nintendo exists in my head these days, so when I see them making business decisions, my psychosis interprets those decision as being made by an individual. You know, as an affront against me personally. For example, I look at the abject madness that is Skip’s Captain Rainbow and then I remember that it will never come out in the US. Sure, WarioWare comes out, but do we get Mother 3? Tingle’s Rosy Rupee Land, a game that’s actually available in English? Nintendo doesn’t bring their weird games here, so Captain Rainbow, with its legion of obscure, z-list Nintendo characters, will flounder away on an island nation half the world away. Nintendo does things like this to spite me. Like my first experiences with WiiWare this past weekend.

    Read More...


  • Many Colors in the Hardcore Rainbow

    The hardcore Nintendo fanbase have made their voices heard. They're sick of games with Miis and annoying rabbits. They want games with the characters from all the old-school games they know and love. They want fan service. Just look at Super Smash Bros Brawl, the definitive hardcore Wii game and a game that is 100% fan service. Sega may soon be delivering with MadWorld and House of the Dead: Overkill, but there's a lot of talk about what Nintendo's next "hardcore" game for the Wii will be. Kid Icarus? Disaster: Day of Crisis? Pikmin?

    What if I told you there was already a game coming out for the Wii which combined fan favorite characters from Super Mario Bros., the Legend of Zelda, Punch-Out!, and more along with the side-scrolling fighting of Viewtiful Joe and the community activity of Animal Crossing? Sounds like exactly the kind of game we've been waiting for, right? Now what if I told you this game was coming out in Japan this very week? You'd probably ask when its coming out in the rest of the world, wouldn't you? Well, we don't know yet because Nintendo has yet to make any announcements regarding localization of Captain Rainbow. That's right, I'm talking about Captain mother-flippin' Rainbow here.

    Read More...


  • This Week in Shrieking Annoyances

    I really like Camelot.  Even though franchises like Hot Shots Golf and Shining Force have been stolen from them and shoved into the hands of less-competent developers, they can still put out a mean golf game.  Knowing this, I had GameFly send me a copy of We Love Golf for the Wii, which is essentially this generations version of Mario Golf, sans Mario. 

    Now let me tell you why I want Camelot to suffer.

    We Love Golf is essentially an expanded version of the Wii Sports' golfing portion; it's bigger, prettier, and there's about a hundred more things to do. Just like in Wii Sports, the club control is a little awkward, and the backswing doesn't remotely resemble anything you'd do with a real golf club--but it doesn't take more than a few minutes to figure out all the quirks. 

    Since We Love Golf screams a tutorial at you through the Wiimote on every stroke,
    Camelot must have ingored that last, vital fact.

    Read More...


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  • about the blogger

    John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

    Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

    Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Nerve, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

    Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

    Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia's prized possession is a certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

    Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

    Peter Smith Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.

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