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The Villains of Batman: Arkham Asylum Should Really Visit a Medical Professional

Let’s take a moment, shall we? We spend so much time reflecting on the influence of the 1980s on contemporary game design, we sometimes forget the looming retro reach of the 1990s. Not even 90s games, per se. Just the nerd zeitgeist. For example, at one point in time, people thought Todd McFarlane was a talented comic book artist. He drew things like this:

Look at that guy! How does he walk through doors? You’d think we, as a society, would have gladly left this sort of anatomical chicanery in the past. But no. No it lives on in our games. For example:

How do they walk through doors?!

Batman: Arkham Asylum, despite the fact that it’s shaping up to possibly be the best Batman game ever made, features character art that’s an unsavory confluence of McFarlane and Cliffy B’s legacy.

Terminator Salvation: The Videogame More Terminator-y Than Terminator Salvation: The Movie

I’m in a bit of a pickle here. I do not think I can be trusted to make reasonable judgments of GRIN’s games. They made Bionic Commando: Rearmed. In a few months, they’ll have finished the new Bionic Commando. I can’t be trusted to talk about their games. I owe them too much. I apologize. Then again, I think I can give you a fair impression of GRIN’s Terminator Salvation. I got an early look at their tie-in, a prequel to the upcoming movie of the same name, at the beginning of the month. It doesn’t look like a bad game, not by any means. For a movie tie-in, it actually looks very good. But as a GRIN game, Terminator Salvation is a little disappointing.

about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Nerve, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.