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The Villains of Batman: Arkham Asylum Should Really Visit a Medical Professional

Let’s take a moment, shall we? We spend so much time reflecting on the influence of the 1980s on contemporary game design, we sometimes forget the looming retro reach of the 1990s. Not even 90s games, per se. Just the nerd zeitgeist. For example, at one point in time, people thought Todd McFarlane was a talented comic book artist. He drew things like this:

Look at that guy! How does he walk through doors? You’d think we, as a society, would have gladly left this sort of anatomical chicanery in the past. But no. No it lives on in our games. For example:

How do they walk through doors?!

Batman: Arkham Asylum, despite the fact that it’s shaping up to possibly be the best Batman game ever made, features character art that’s an unsavory confluence of McFarlane and Cliffy B’s legacy.

Mega64 versus Metal Gear Solid 4's Dad

Despite these tough times, the sun still rises, and those lovable scamps over at Mega64 are up to their old tricks. I think we'll all be okay.

Mega64 was at GDC this year, because it's important for someone to get all up in the face of video games when they become Serious Business. Sometimes, though, Serious Business bites back. At 2007's GDC, the boys of Mega64 dressed as Mario and Luigi and frolicked through the city streets, harassing attendees and women on cellphones. Everything was fun and games until some guy named “Shee-guyo Me-a-photo” put his hands on his hips and beat down the party with a look that said, “Come on guys, plumbers and mustaches are not joke material.”

Mega64 took the lesson to heart, but got a bit naughty again at 2009's GDC with a parody of Metal Gear Solid 4. Serious Business raised its solemn head once again, but this time the boys were running for their lives.

Do We Need E3?

Back in '95, E3 was an opportunity for developers to connect with the press and the public, showcasing the upcoming year's product offering. Today, with streaming trailer downloads and up to the minute blog coverage, do we need conventions like E3 to tell us what's up?

No.

The official E3 website has partnered with GameTrailers. Why even hold a convention when you can just stream the content directly to the public? The only purpose that a convention like E3 could serve is to grant exposure to indie developers. A glance at the exhibitors list for 2008's show reveals that only the major names will attend. Developer roundtables, interviews, and Q&A's could and are easily distributed via podcast. Trailers are obviously streamed on developer websites, social networks and gaming sites. Let's be real here: It's an excuse for Reggie Fils Aime to pound his chest and for Cliffy B to assert his heterosexuality. Boooring.

E3 and other trade shows like this are completely superfluous. They are artifacts of a bygone pre-internet age. Of course, as long as you keep clicking ads, the coverage will continue. Way to go, retrogressive consumer!

Posted Jul 09 2008, 12:00 PM by Cole Stryker with | with no comments

Filed under: cole stryker, cliffy b, game trailers, e3, reggie fils aime

Game Designers: Rockstars, Auteurs, Dweebs?

One crummy thing about living here in the good ol’ U.S. of A. is that we don’t get issues of Britain’s Edge Magazine for a full month after they hit stands in Britain. Yes, I know, it’s a hard life. We’ve been at war with two separate nations for close to a decade, the economy is disintegrating, and our health care system is an atrocity but all that pales in comparison to not getting pretty videogame rags in a timely manner. But I digress. Yesterday, while flipping through their July issue, something stuck out about their Platinum Games cover story: the photo spread of Atsushi Inaba, Hideki Kamiya, Shigenori Nishikawa, Hifumi Kouno, and Tatsuya Minami made them look like a god damn boy band.

about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Nerve, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.