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Warning: Wii Punch-Out!! Might Just Kill You

Posted by John Constantine

Last week, I came down with a flu like sickness. It was bad. I was sent home from the office twice because, apparently, I sounded like I was coughing whole parts of my insides out of my body. Today I am a well man and it’s all thanks to the power of rest and Mythbusters. Let it be known that, provided you are horribly sick, own an Xbox 360, and are a Netflix subscriber, you too can watch Mythbusters until you are fit, or fitter, than a well-made fiddle. Dr. John Constantine prescribes it! During one particularly awesome episode, Adam Savage was isolating ingredients from Diet Coke to determine which of them causes Diet Coke-Mentos-Explosions. While testing caffeine, Savage mixed a solution while commenting, “This is a lot of caffeine. Enough to kill you.” This blew my bed-ridden mind. Caffeine can kill you? Of course it can, all stimulants can! I’d just never considered it. This revelation, in turn, reminded me how dangerous Nintendo can be.

Case in point: the new Wii Punch-Out!!. Like caffeine and stimulants of all stripes, fan service can kill a person depending on its purity and provided they have enough of it. Watch this trailer for an example of what a just-under-lethal dose looks like.

Seriously, that is potent. It’s more than just the returning characters, we already knew they’d be back. Doc Louis on the bike? The pink track suit? That’s the sort of fan service that will cause hearts to explode. They need to be careful with that.

Next Level Games have, it seems, foregone the crazy power-ups that made their Super Mario Strikers games so unpredictable. That’s okay. Punch-Out!!’s special moves, activated by stars earned in the fights, have always been elegant in their simplicity. The play looks as expected, a nice re-skinning of NES Punch-Out!!. I have to say though, while the game’s gorgeous and the new renditions of old fighters are clean and stylish, the new fighter, Disco Kid, is awfully plain. What gives, Next Level? I know your art team can do better than that.

Editor’s Note: I’m not really a doctor. I am sorry if I misled you. Do not try to cure yourself with Mythbusters.

Related links:

Punch-Out Wii to Make Early 2009 a Little Less Depressing
The Erotic Adventure of Little Mac
Georges St Pierre's Punch-Out!!
Muramasa – The Demon Blade
InFamous
Watchmen: The End is Nigh
Henry Hatsworth in the Puzzling Adventure

+ DIGG

+ DEL.ICIO.US

+ REDDIT

Posted Mar 23 2009, 07:00 PM

Filed under: john constantine, nintendo, trailer review, wii, punch out, punch-out!!, mythbusters, next level games

Comments

AlexB said:

Wow. The character models are wonderful and the animation is incredibly amusing. I sincerely hope this lives up to my fanboyish expectations.

March 23, 2009 9:59 PM

about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Nerve, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

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